It is so sad that the JW's are forced by the cult to act in this irrational and illogical way, what is the point of cutting off contact with someone like you, or me, who will never step into a K.H again unless forced to, say a family funeral or something ?
Hey Phizzy, thanks for the comment. It's been an long and strange trip for me. I have tried to explain to my JW family that I was pressured into getting baptised and it was never truly in my heart. They live in a false reality where they are never to blame for any pressure they put on their kids. I am very sad that after all I have done they still haven't given me a word since.
Just a few days ago a Witness I used to know showed up at my door out in service. She said that my family was dysfunctional and that Jehovah will accept me back with open arms so as long as I am repentant. I asked her if she'd come all this way to tell me I am deficient. She replied that that was correct. I could not return without saying sorry for what I have done. I explained that in reality I have done nothing wrong. Even per the laws of the Watchtower I have not been approached by the people who acused me of apostasy before I was an apostate. Many opposers are driven to stronger opposition that they would have normally given because they were tagged so early in their exit from the high control group. It's like we say, "Oh you want an apostate? I'll give you a real apostate." Witnesses are jumpy about anyone who says anything bad about the Organization because they are told such words are being created by Satan himself through his celestial demons. Never again will I live in fear of what I was taught.
It seems like a lost cause trying to get to my family and in the end it may well be. But that's not the point from my perspective. My story can help others who read it and who knows an old Witness friend might show up at my door one day, or a neice or nephew who is tired of the crap as well. I will be there for them and I will have all my writings to look back and refresh my memory. What has been done to me truly is shameful and should be fought against at all costs.
Still I hear through my little brother that the family still feels that one day I will come around and come back to the truth. This is a large reason why I don't sever all connections with them. Because I don't want them to get the wrong idea because they notoriously act on their wrong ideas very often. I don't want what happened to to even touch my son in the most remote of way. I have grown to hate the act of holding ones love over another, so I don't want my family to love my son. Frankly I am frightened by my family's love especially decisions based off it. To me, love is simply and mysterious at the same time. To them it's a definition expanded into an article from a Watchtower.
My mother in law sent me an email a few months back. It was a transcript of a talk a Governing Body member gave in the last few years. When I read it I was disgusted with how the Witnesses are taught that they are the only ones that have a chance to save anybody, here is the transcript:
This is why we preach. This experience was given by Brother Splane of the Governing Body at an assembly on Oahu. They said everyone at the assembly was tearing up. "In an eastern European country in 1989 there was a huge 8.9 earthquake. 30,000 people died in 4 minutes. It happened in the morning and a man had just returned from taking his small son to school. After he made sure his wife was alright, he went straight back to the school to find his son. When he got there he saw that the school was completely flattened, like a pancake. Just rubble.
He stood there devastated, completely destroyed. Then he remembered a promise he had made to his son some time back. He had told him that as long as there was life and breath in his body, he would always be there for him.
So with that promise in his mind he went around to the northeast side of the rubble where his son's classroom had been and started digging through the debris.
Soon the neighbor came out and said, Sir, I know youre distraught but you have to accept that your child is dead. There's nothing you can do. The man didn't stop digging; he just looked at the neighbor and said, Are you going to help me now?
Later, the fire chief came and told the man he had to stop, there was no one left alive and he was putting himself in danger. Again, the father simply asked, Are you going to help me now? After many more hours of digging the chief of police came and told him he was putting other people in danger, and ordered him to go home and leave it to the professionals. The man again said nothing but, Are you going to help me now? Brother Splane paused, and then he said, The faithful slave is engaged in a massive search and rescue mission. It is an enormous task, and what they are asking from you and me is, Are you going to help me now?
Finally, after 38 hours of digging through concrete and twisted metal, the man moved a final boulder and found a small space where several children had been protected. His son was among them. The first thing he said to his father was, Daddy, I told them not to be scared. I told them you would come.
Then he walked off the stage.
You give but little when you give of your possessions.
It is when you give of yourself that you truly give."
Time index 1:06-1:17 has Tom Cruise, a renowned Scientologist, explaining that when he passes a wreck on the side of the road he "knows he's really the only one that can help" as a Scientologist. This is a very similar thinking of the devout Jehovah's Witness. That's how they go about their life, believing that they are the only ones that make any real difference. Both the Watchtower and Scientology are blights on the world of reason.
When, in the end, it's people like Tom Cruise and David Splane that are actually the ones covered in the rubble of their own delusional bigotry. Highly ironic indeed.