A Suggestion for Lurkers

by Ding 13 Replies latest jw friends

  • Ding

    If you are afraid to join the forum and enter discussions, believe me -- we understand.

    If you're feeling all alone, this message is especially for you.

    Sometimes people refrain from joining and posting because certain posts or threads really upset or offend them. Or maybe you're reluctant to jump in because you see interesting threads get hijacked or go off in all sorts of confusing directions and you don't want that to happen to you.

    If that's you, I suggest you join and start with private messages (PMs) instead. Doing it that way, you can correspond one-on-one with posters you feel most comfortable with.

    How do you choose who to PM? Look through posts on various threads. Pick out 1-3 posters whose comments you like best, people who seem the most caring and share what you consider to be the best insights or discuss things you'd like to explore in greater depth.

    Then send them a PM. If you don't get a reply in a couple of days, post a simple thread in which you tell that person you have sent them a PM. Then keep checking your own PM page for their reply.

    You don't have to share personal or identifying info in PMs if you don't want to. Let your correspondent know what topics you want to discuss and what you want to avoid (doctrine, WT history, personal experiences, etc.). Remember, you're in control. You can stop corresponding at any time if you choose to do so.

    You access PMs by clicking on the envelope in the upper right corner of the screen. If you get an error message, click it again.

    Why not give it a try? Find the poster you'd most like to talk with and reach out for help or friendship.

    I'm willing to talk with you if you'd like. I promise not to berate you or try to get you to join some other religious organization.

  • snowbird

    Ding, you are the very embodiment of Jesus Christ.

    May you be blessed with length of days and lasting peace.

    Love you, man.


  • 1975

    Two thumbs up for your suggestion.


  • DesirousOfChange

    As a lurker, I was fearful that my IP address would be visible to others. It's my understanding (hopefully) that is not true. But that kept me from posting for quite some time until investigating. I think it WOULD be known to moderators.

    Are PMs just as secure? Or, would the receiver see the IP of the lurker?

    I know of a guy who has told several that he was ID by the elders via his IP address. I'm thinking this was because he used the same computer (thus the same IP) for his regular emails to friends & family as he did for his "anonymous apostate" emails to the same people.

    Can someone with some IT smarts clarify all of this?

    I'm sure it would put a lurker at ease to be assured of their anonymity.

  • Ding

    Wow, Syl, thanks for the kind remarks!!!

    Maybe one of the moderators can explain how the security works regarding IPs, PMs, etc.

    I'd hate to think that worries about those issues are keeping some from connecting with people who care about them.

  • Sapphy

    Great idea! Great & caring thread. Thanks Ding.

  • factfinder

    Excellent idea Ding!

  • kazar

    That is one terrific idea Ding.

  • TotallyADD

    It's like learning to swim. You are scared to jump in the water at first but after doing it a few times you are no longer scared. So come on board these waters are safe. Totally ADD

  • satinka

    I lurked for a long time before I finally came on board. Glad I did, though.

    The JWs sure know how to isolate one another. It's meant to break your spirit.


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