For exJW Singles - Would You Consider Dating/Marrying Another ExJW? (page 2)

yrkdnme

I don't care to date ex-Jws. You never know when they are going to get an attack of conscience and want to go back. I will NEVER go back and I know that for a fact, but you never know about someone else!!

Dune

Hope I didn't do something to ruin the thread. But since we're reposting....

I think my fading JW skittishness ruined a relationship, in hindsight, that was not a good time to be pursuing a relationship. It's kind of distracting to go out on dates with someone who is constantly looking over their shoulders and is reluctant to do anything for fear of being seen, lol.

Once you're out of the fear stage I don't see the particular advantage of dating an ExJW other than having someone to talk to who went through what you did, but that's what JWN is for :-).

At the end of the day, I consider myself one of the lucky exJW's because I left without any particularly heavy baggage.

VampireDCLXV

I'm open to dating on either side of the fence, XJW or no. That being said, I'll have to be at least somewhat picky in either case.

If it's an XJW, I would really need her to be determined to NEVER go back. The day she gets that "attack of conscience" is the day I turn my back and leave.

If it's a non-JW, I would need her to be very understanding of where I came from. Demanding, high-maintenance social climbers are the first to be struck off my list.

At this point, I'm leaning towards dating XJWs... there are a surprising number of eligible singles among them. It's quite a community.

V665 V665

talesin

Demanding, high-maintenance social climbers are the first to be struck off my list...

I agree! Especially the demanding, high-maintenance bit .... too much drama.

t

Paralipomenon

Slightly difference perspective, but given that my wife and I are both ex-JWs it really does give a bit of an extra bond to know what each other is going through. We are shunned by both our parents so we can really empathize with each other on how it makes us feel. Also the little JW catch phrases can be a subtle shared jokes. The comment "from house to house and door to door" would really mean nothing to someone that's never been exposed to the witnesses, but it can earn a familiar smile when used in a why the WT would never approve.

In all, I'd say that there is potential, but our marriage isn't based on the fact that we are both ex-witnesses. It's accentuated by it. I'd say find someone that makes you happy, if they are an ex-witness then you have a common bond, if not, hopefully you have other things in common.

White Dove

I think it would be interesting to date an XJW.

Share stories and things that worked in the healing process.

Yes, that's what JWN is for, but this can be a point of bonding with another person, too.

What happened with my X friend who was also an XJW was that she got out about 6 years ahead of me and was almost completely healed from it.

I was newly raw.

She didn't have the patience to put up with or relate to my rants (purgings).

So, I think the people need to be on the same page and "spiritual death" age, for the most part so they don't drive each other crazy.

Iamallcool

Yes, but I prefer never a JW. That is just me.

karter

Haveing been a JW has it's advantages.

Lets face it we are used to talking to compleate strangers.

We know how to draw people out.

And can listen.

When i 1st seperated i was at a very deserted beach and got talking to a lady....turns out she was an ex JW as well.

We saw each other for a while but nothing came of it.

EmptyInside

This topic made me realize how I am probably not ready to be involved with anyone. I still can not fully relate to non-Witnesses. Although,I am getting better regarding that.

I'm still a fader,so most ex-Witnesses wouldn't want to put up with the fact I still go to some meetings. Plus,dealing with some of my family who are pretty hardcore.

And of course,I no longer want to be involved with a Witness,and they more than likely wouldn't want to be involved with me.

I'm feeling pretty messed up right now,ugh.

Witness My Fury

Faded / fading or ex-JW fine by me, as long as she is mentally out and conscious and won't go back.

A non JW for me at the moment would sign my JW demise and get me DF's so I am not ready for that scenario quite yet.

Any takers?

For exJW Singles - Would You Consider Dating/Marrying Another ExJW?

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