by Daniel Metz 62 Replies latest jw friends
Welcome and post some more.
The standard fade combined with claimed feelings of depression and worthlessness will achieve a safer exit. The method outlined in the OP, will put you on the elder's radar and make you loose time in studying the same doctrine for the 1001 time. Just my 2 cents. I am on my way out now, fading slowly but surely
Moshe, you got it!
If anyone remembers my story, then that is the way to go.
I left quite unvoluntarily, being effectively pushed out by neglect and lack of love.
They didn't want me there and never made an effort to get me back.
My thing was real, but you may be able to fabricate something similar.
You need a "need" first.
Then you need someone to "help" you to get the meetings.
Appear to NEEEED the meetings like it's a drug and so get desperate for help to get to and understand every single meeting (don't miss even one meeting during this time!).
They will get so sick of you it's not funny.
They will be relieved when you finally leave for good.
Thing is that you will probably want to choose a congregation known for its coldness and strict by the book operation.
What makes this work is needing for those rules to be bent for a "disability" or something like that.
If my story can help someone with getting out, then go for it!
At least you won't leave partly destroyed by heartbreak, like I did.
Actually, Hoffnung's idea is better and quicker.
Just burst into tears whenever JW topics are brought up.
People can't stand to see anyone cry.
They'll leave you alone quickly enough.
Missed meetings: Panic attacks
Christmas lights on the house: Granny is visiting and got your neighbors to help her put them up while you were at work. It's just easier to let her have her way until she leaves.
A flag on your porch: Darned neighbors!
An even faster way to make them hate you but not formally kick you out: show up once a week uninvited to all the elder's homes and try to get them to feed you lunch.
Be a nuesance. No da or df involved.
hehehe
They will get so sick of you it's not funny. They will be relieved when you finally leave for good.
Amen W-D! JWs hate a needy brother or sister. Find out who knows about working on cars- hound them for free work on your car, trips to the store and doctor, home repairs- it's a great game once you get started. -No help? Then tell the elders you need their help finding the assistance you need. In less than a month you can tell them you are depressed and begin to miss meetings- trust me they won't call on you and risk having to reactivate a needy brother or sister.
Moshe, you are SOOoooo right ! It is human nature to find it irksome to constantly have to be helping someone ,with nothing in return.
The problem may be, with the strategy, that the Elders lumber the sincere, kindly ones in the Congo. with helping you, in my experience this is what they do, they do very little actual giving themselves, just delegate.
So you may have to endure the pain of guilt that you have inflicted unecessary work on some kind, overworked individuals.
I found it easy just to walk away, and never return. I just stopped going.
O.K , I got the odd visit, but the good folks on here told me how to handle them, I left over 3 yrs. ago, last visit 2.5 years ago. No problem, I am simply faded, not DF'd or DA'd, my choice.
You are going to get a shepherding call whatever in most Congos. I would not have got the 2 Elder visit if I had kept my mouth shut, I was too vocal about the crap that is WT doctrine.
As said in a post above, they are just a silly little cult that you are free to leave in the past.
Walk away now, let the past they fade in to start today !
Good point Wobble,
So you may have to endure the pain of guilt that you have inflicted unecessary work on some kind, overworked individuals. Elders would delegate to a meek brother or sister,
So, yes some poor schmuck might get sh$t on, but that is life in the KH.
My experience would support this strategy. I was in turmoil grappling with extracating myself from congregational duties etc . . . and seeing my fade as almost impossible when hey presto! . . . I was struck down by a genuine long-term illness. Another Elder called on me each Saturday for a couple of months to drop off the mags . . . then it was once a month for a few more . . . then nothing. As for the rest of them . . . all I heard from them was the sound of running feet. If you're "needy" you're history . . . it's just a matter of time.
I know for some it works to a great degree, playing the "depression" card etc. the only small problem is that the expectation is that one day you will return, so some may be motivated to visit you at any time in the future.
You have that hanging over you.
What I have done is give off certain Apostate vibes, asking awkward questions etc. i.e "Prove to me from the bible that God chose the BS/Ratherfraud gang in 1919", this tends to stifle even the motivating visit.
But I agree, being "needy" could well be the least painless way to leave.
the only small problem is that the expectation is that one day you will return, so some may be motivated to visit you at any time in the future.
This is true wobble . . . I did still receive the occasional vist in my case . . . right up till the time I shifted towns . . . then it was over.
Yes, it is logial but you give short attention to the problem of those with family and friends still in the Witnesses. I was very lucky b/c I had no ties. Shunning can be crippling. It is potent in the Witnesses b/c most Witnesses are extremely isolated with few contacts in the real world.
I'd say the period between leaving and forming new relationships inthe world must be gruesome. Also, the enemy you know is usually more acceptable than the unknown one. Humans are not Vulcans. We are messy like Captain Kirk. I would never gloss over the cahllenge to anyone.
I feel very strongly that it is a worthwhile challenge that offers great happiness at the end.
I don't know of any cases of re-baptism being allowed by wts. Getting baptized without so called proper dedication to Jehovah with a prayer prior to baptism is nonsense that only jws use to imply that those who leave wts were never truly dedicated to God but served for a a reward and that's why they left wts while true faithful witnesses serve God no matter what with no date in mind - pure jw nonsense. This argument doesn't work within jws themselves otherwise many would have used it to leave without any fear of losing family and friends. Being an elder you would be the only one on the committee that would allow this, while the final statement would have been made that so and so was no longer a Jehovah's Witness and everyone would treat that individual on the same level as a DA or DF member.
8) As long as they don't find out about any sin on your part, they can't disfellowship you. If your wife or husband is still a Witness, tell them: "Honey, just give me time and I will start my study again" (Maybe some of you can think of a better story to tell).
Now, if the prior 7 points worked, the above statement would be silly in itself because they would have to view you as a non-baptized member who cannot be DF!
Also, are you saying that the one who no longer wants to be a witness has in some ways deceived God, and elders while wts has nothing to do in deceiving the individual prior to their baptism? I'm just curious from what angle you're coming from the way you made your points above. Since you haven't said more about yourself besides the post above, I'm curious if you are a believing JW?
