I ran away with all my heart as soon as my JW father died. He was literally dragging me against my will, pinching me and kicking me in full view of KH.
My life is very worldly. Yet I spend too much time here. I was always very isolation, My crowd is highly educated and worldly. No one would know what it is like to be a small church, let alone a cult as famous as the Witnesses. We all roll around the floor thinking of me as a good, devout Witness. Inside, I still have many hangups and hestiations from the Witnesses.
I was born-in. If I converted as an adult, it would be markedly different. The early years determine our mind set for the rest of our lives. It was hell being such a minority. No one gave us respect, neither the Witnesses or our Catholic neighbors. B/c of my Bethelite father, there is a strong link between severe child abuse and the witnesses. He could have been a Catholic, Mornmon or HIndu and abusive. It is all I know.
This site has helped validated my feelings and memories. Ipray I won't keep posting so much in the future. Maybe everyone here prays for that, too.