~Moving forward..searching for a good therapist~ (page 3)

talesin

made it through, no head spinning (no more than usual, hehe)

makes perfect sense !

I like this ---

just a good sounding board..and to help to keep processing all that has happened these past several years especially

sounds pretty healthy to me.

t

freeflyingfaerie

~Update~

This therapist isn't going to work. I'm just not feeling it. Back to creative outlets... and moreand with ..

Terry

I need help. I need a real person with me to work through some of the hurt and frustration I still have

If I may say so, this can prove to be a false premise just as it was when you became a Jehovah's Witness.

You were talking to and being guided by real persons at that time and they were providing you with "solutions" to hurt and frustration in life.

What went wrong?

You attached meaning and hope to a lifestyle based on ideas that were not true. Discovering that they were untrue destroyed your hope.

What you are missing in life is CONFIDENCE that who you are and what you are doing MEANS ANYTHING beyond mere existence.

It will not matter who you talk to and who counsels you. Everybody is connected to an IDEA of "meaning" except a therapist!

Therapists can't give you meaning. They are like the channel remote on your TV set and will only enable you to point and push a button.

A therapist is a traffic cop and the traffic jam is inside your mind. We have an "accident" and everything freezes. A therapist gets traffic flowing again but YOU are the person who decides which street leads to what destination.

If you can accept the following and still smile and feel good about life in order to commit to a purpose and move forward, you have all you need.

1.Everybody dies; nobody escapes.

2.Active people who work toward a goal have little time for feeling sorry for themselves.

3.Progess comes from setting and meeting goals.

4.There is no "there" when it comes to Absolute Certainty about God, Truth, Meaning in the universe. We all make something up and buy it.

5.HAPPINESS is all there is. Anything short of that means too much imbalance between your imagination and reality has crept in. We create our own happiness by choosing to believe something is worth our belief.

6.Other people agreeing with you doesn't mean a damned thing. Look how many Nazis there were. It is great to have people agreeing with you except when you are all working against somebody else's happiness.

7.Avoid polarizing thoughts, people, groups, ideologies and conversations. EITHER/OR thinking is for binary computers and not human happiness.

8.Healthy thinking starts by saying "I could be wrong..." and then finding positive things to do and think and be.

9. Do something REAL each day. Make that one real thing something that changes a circumstance in somebody's life.

10. Don't make the Perfect an enemy of the merely good. Good is good; even the merely good. Everything changes. Always. Embrace change in life as an opportunity to DO SOMETHING new. Don't dwell on what went wrong when what can go right is in your grasp.

End of Session.

Band on the Run

The only advice is that it is a relationship and do find someone else if you ever feel uncomfortable. The trick is telling uncomfrotable from repression and resistance and uncomfortable b/c the therapist is not a good match.

An analystic professor said to give ourselves credit if we make progress. A change in often very helpful to view things through another perspective. Be careful of clinging therapists. You don't want to be a vacation payment.

freeflyingfaerie

talesin~ You really are sweet, thank you for caring.

Terry~ Thanks for your post. I especially liked 'embrace change in life as an opportunity to do something new'...when I fell that way, I'm at my happiest. There has been alot of surrendering these past several years, but the beauty of it is that it has freed me up to pursue my passions. Sometimes the tears still flow, sometimes it's still difficult to keep letting go, sometimes I feel overwhelmed. But it seems that that is part of the human experience.

Band on the Run~ Thank you

Fernando

I was fortunate to realise that I needed to find and see a Psychologist with personal experience of cults. This realisation came after the misfortune of seeing an arrogant, ignorant and insensitive Psychologist with no experience in this area. This Psychologist did the very opposite of validating my experience and struggle (to put it mildly).

Fortunately too I was able to find the right therapies and therapists for each stage of the journey. The most powerful therapies however were spiritual and found on a journey of self-discovery outside of any and all religion and so-called experts.

Although CBT in Psychology is relatively new and evolving, I found it very useful. It lacks a spiritual layer or foundation though.

This book explains it very well: http://www.bookdepository.co.uk/Change-Your-Thinking-with-CBT-Sarah-Edelman/9780091906955

~Moving forward..searching for a good therapist~

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