Announcing the Great Apostate Song Contest.

by Mindchild 27 Replies latest jw friends

  • Angharad
    Angharad

    Here is the other one Simon did after too many beers

    http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=8002&site=3

  • Abaddon
    Abaddon

    Jay Double U

    (to the tune of 'Hey Jude' by The Beatles)

    Jay Double U
    Don't make it bad
    You're in a bad cult
    Can't make it better
    The minute
    You let them into your heart
    Then they begin to make you "better"

    Jay Double U
    Don't be afraid
    There's a world out
    There waiting for you
    No matter
    What the Watchtower says
    There's no demons waiting for you

    And any time you feel the strain
    Jay-Dub refrain
    Don't carry your bookbag round the corner
    For well you know that you're a fool
    If you believe that
    New light bullshit
    Any longer

    Jay Double U
    Don't let me down
    You can break free from
    "Theocratic" orders
    Remember
    It's just a bunch of men
    Who each day are getting older

    So get on out and let it in
    Jay-Dub begin
    To make a stand for
    What you believe in
    And don't you know that it's not in the magazines
    The movement you need
    Is on your shoulder

    Jay Double U
    Don't make it bad
    Take a step to
    Ward something better
    Remember
    It's just a stupid cult
    And that you are far better
    better, better, better, better, better, oh.

    Dub, dub, dub, duba-dub-dub, duba-dub-dub, x-Jay Double U
    (Sing it round the world now!)
    Dub, dub, dub, duba-dub-dub, duba-dub-dub, x-Jay Double U
    (Waaaaah! Hear me, I'm an apostate and proud!)
    Dub, dub, dub, duba-dub-dub, duba-dub-dub, x-Jay Double U
    (Let the good times roll!)
    Dub, dub, dub, duba-dub-dub, duba-dub-dub, x-Jay Double U
    (Ventriloquist snakes? Give it a rest!)
    Dub, dub, dub, duba-dub-dub, duba-dub-dub, x-Jay Double U
    (Say yes to oral sex; that's one in the eye for you!)
    Dub, dub, dub, duba-dub-dub, duba-dub-dub, x-Jay Double U
    (Microwave your Kingdom Melody CD's!)
    Dub, dub, dub, duba-dub-dub, duba-dub-dub, x-Jay Double U
    (Demonised smurfs can't stop me now!)
    Dub, dub, dub, duba-dub-dub, duba-dub-dub, x-Jay Double U
    (Gonna get me an education, fourty acres, and a mule!)
    Dub, dub, dub, duba-dub-dub, duba-dub-dub, x-Jay Double U
    (Weekend mornings in bed fornicating like it's going out of fashion!)
    Dub, dub, dub, duba-dub-dub, duba-dub-dub, x-Jay Double U
    (Just say 'Thank you' to drugs!)
    Dub, dub, dub, duba-dub-dub, duba-dub-dub, x-Jay Double U
    (Wasting that much time makes eeeeeeeeeeee-verything more important afterwards!)
    Dub, dub, dub, duba-dub-dub, duba-dub-dub, x-Jay Double U
    (For you, me, eeeeeeeeeeeeeee-verybody!)
    Dub, dub, dub, duba-dub-dub, duba-dub-dub, x-Jay Double U
    (Join the 'Got class' class!)
    Dub, dub, dub, duba-dub-dub, duba-dub-dub, x-Jay Double U
    (Shun me? Shun this motherfucker! Woah!)
    Dub, dub, dub, duba-dub-dub, duba-dub-dub, x-Jay Double U
    (Let me hear you SCREAM, one more time now!)
    Dub, dub, dub, duba-dub-dub, duba-dub-dub, x-Jay Double U
    (Ring around the world now... x, hear me! x, x Jay Double U!)

  • peaceloveharmony
    peaceloveharmony

    you guys are GOOD! keep 'em coming

  • Mindchild
    Mindchild

    Bringing it to da top 40

  • Beans
    Beans

    Great Thread Mind! Me and Quotes want to put together a greatest hits package called "Assembly Classics" sung by the A-Postate Choir!!!

    Beans

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    Loyal love-Loyal love
    This is what I'm thinking of.
    If you smoke your out the door
    Thats the organisation law
    What about the Christmas Tree?
    Oh! my goodness "let it be"!
    You haven't gone door to door?
    They will say "your spirit is poor"!
    Did you vote?What do you mean?
    You shouldnt join inwith the uclean.
    Sisters!Hear us!You MUST submit!!
    Else you'll end up in the pit!
    Brothers,!Brothers!no training needed!!
    As long as "Mothers"law is heeded.
    Check out what they do in bed!
    Do it with the right "head"
    One day soon-Oh VERY SOON!
    The world will definatly swoon
    To see US!The ONE & ONLY
    We promise you-you wont be bony!!!
    Every body else will though.
    Are you listening MR MOE???

  • Scully
    Scully

    The Ballad of the Watchtower Hillbillies (by Scully)
    set your banjos to the lovely melody of the Beverly Hillbillies
    ----------------------------------------------------
    Now listen to a story about the Watchtower Crew
    The followers’ll tellya everything They say is True
    But then one day when the sky was clear and blue
    The closet door flew open and there they were with U…..
    N that is……
    United Nations, shenanigations

    Well the Wild Beast admitted to a 9 year long love fest
    With old Uncle Miltie and Freddie and the rest
    The Governing Body was caught with their pants down
    Whoring with the Wild Beast without so much as a reach-around
    “Do not touch the disgusting thing”
    Hear ‘em sing……

    Folks were all a-flutter about this Unholy mess
    Accusations and denials flew in alt.religion.jehovahs-witn(ess)
    Finally from Brooklyn came the ‘reassuring’ word
    “Yes we were affiliated; what on earth is so absurd??”
    It was writ
    Hypocrite

    Lloyd and Uncle Miltie were caught with their pants down
    Cavorting with the Great Red Beast that makes good jWs frown
    “Touch not the unclean and disgusting thing” the Watchtower would say
    Yet here they were, in secret, a-going ‘all the way’
    “What you sow
    You shall reap”

    The Friends all gathered ‘round and rallied their support
    “The Brothers had their reasons, no matter what the sort”
    It made no difference, the years of filthy lies
    About whoring with the Scarlet Beast, without an alibi
    Fornicate
    Then berate

    Really when you’ve thought on it, it should come as no surprise
    That a loving God will expose a Wicked Wolf in disguise
    They are not at all held dear as favored sons and daughters
    So have no fear, their end is near, get ready for the slaughter
    The Beast will turn
    Let the REAL Harlot burn

    Dear friends and neighbours take a warning about this and other cults
    They want to control the minds of all, children and adults
    Recruiting new members with talk of Paradise
    To charm the unsuspecting and ensnare them in their evil pack of lies
    They’re uncouth
    It ain’tThe Truth™

    The moral of the story is that cultish crap piles deep
    The leaders do whatever they want and keep the membership asleep
    Caught compromising with the Scarlet Beast, don’t you dare expect them to weep
    After all, it’s over a hundred years that they’ve been screwing “sheep”
    Break free
    From Beastiality

    Y'all come back now, y'hear!!

    In the desert things find a way to survive. Secrets are like this too. They work their way up through the sands of deception so men can know them. - The X Files

  • GinnyTosken
    GinnyTosken

    Talkin' Jaydub Paranoid Blues (Talkin' John Birch Paranoid Blues - Bob Dylan)

    Well, I was feelin' sad and feelin' blue,
    I didn't know what in the world I was gonna do,
    Them Witnesses they wus comin' around,
    They wus in the air,
    They wus on the ground.
    They wouldn't gimme no peace. . .

    So I run down most hurriedly
    And joined up with the Watchtower Society,
    I got me a blood transfusion card
    And started off a-walkin' down the road.
    Yee-hoo, I'm a real Jehover now!
    Look out you heathens!

    Now we all agree with the Watchtower's views,
    Although Rutherford drunk a lot of booze.
    It don't matter that he was a crazy drunkard,
    At least you can't say he was a Catholic!
    That's to say like if you got a cold you take a shot of malaria.

    Well, I wus lookin' everywhere for stuff what's demonized.
    I got up in the mornin' 'n' looked under my bed,
    Looked in the sink, behind the door,
    Looked in the glove compartment of my car.
    Couldn't find 'em . . .

    I wus lookin' high an' low for them demons everywhere,
    I wus lookin' in the sink an' underneath the chair.
    I looked way up my chimney hole,
    I even looked deep inside my toilet bowl.
    They got away . . .

    Well, I wus sittin' home alone an' started to sweat,
    Figured they wus in my T.V. set.
    Peeked behind the picture frame,
    Got a shock from my feet, hittin' right up in the brain.
    Them demons caused it!
    I know they did . . . them hard-core ones.

    Well, I quit my job so I could work alone,
    Then I changed my name to Watchtower drone.
    Followed some clues from my big book bag
    And discovered they wus demons in the stuff online!
    That ol' Simon Green . . .

    Well, I investigated all the books in the library,
    Ninety percent of 'em gotta be burned away.
    I investigated all the people that I knowed,
    Ninety-nine percent of them gotta go.
    The other one percent are fellow Jehovers . . . just like me.

    Now Feuerbacher, he's an apostate spy,
    Hovland, Haugland and that Steinhaug guy.
    To my knowledge there's just one man
    That's really a true Christian: Milton G. Henschel.
    I know for a fact he hates Satan cus he burned all his Smurfs.

    Well, I fin'ly started thinkin' straight
    When I run outa things to investigate.
    Couldn't imagine doin' anything else,
    So now I'm sittin' home investigatin' myself!
    Hope I don't find out anything . . . hmm, great God!

    original from http://www.bobdylan.com/songs/birch.html

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