Caring what the folks at the Kingdom Hall think of you

by Terry 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • Terry

    Mistake number one for faders, DF'd and Apostates: Caring what the folks at the Kingdom Hall think of you.

    They are your "FRIENDS", right?

    Sorry to break it to you. They are NOT friends. A true friend doesn't turn their back on you, whisper behind your back

    or automatically believe any bad thing others tell them.

    The people at the Kingdom Hall are your "brothers" and "sisters", right?

    Oh my, that again is wrong, wrong wrong!

    Do you know why? The brotherhood consists of "what have you done for me lately?"

    The sisterhood consists of "If you don't have some good gossip for me to spread you are my number one target."

    Sad isn't it? Yes. But, NOT HEARTBREAKING.

    You can't, in good mental health, CARE. It can't get you down or depress you for a very good reason.

    Do you know what that reason is?


    These people at the Kingdom Hall are empty shells filled with instructions and commands and automatic responses.

    You may as well get upset that a ventriloquist's dummy is making fun of you or insulting you in his nightclub act.

    The Watchtower Society is the Ventriloquist. Those people who go to the Kingdom Hall are just dummies whose lip flap seem to utter

    nasty things about you.

    It is all just and illusion.

    Move on.

    Find yourself genuine, caring, thinking, feeling and FULLY FUNCTIONING HUMAN BEINGS for friends.

    Invest your life in a give and take that GIVES and doesn't just take.

    I learned the hard way after spending 20 years building fake friendships that vanished over night.

    Never look back.

    Move on.

    Move ahead.

    You can't lose WHAT YOU NEVER HAD.

  • RagingBull

    Amen brother! This is so true,especially nowadays. At least in the 80's to early 90's people did more together. These days you'd be hard-pressed to find a true friend that care's about your well-being. Yet, if you miss a couple of meetings or field service...they become interested in what you're doing with your life all of a sudden. And that's only to figure out weather they should stop socializing with you altogether or if you're still in "good-standing"

  • journey-on

    I totally agree. Yet, they think the same thing about us: "If you can abandon Jehovah and his people so easily....If you're not willing to endure to the end with us...If you have lost the love for God's arrangement and allowed apostate thoughts to take are not a true friend."

    It is a heartbreaking conundrum.

  • Terry

    The people I missed most at first are the people I don't miss at all now. Could I have grown up and gotten a life?

    I think so!

    That whole world seems so tiny and pathetic now I'm ashamed of myself for tossing away a goodly portion of my life on it.

  • chickpea

    i find i cannot even remember names of these people who for nearly 20 years i called brother......

    one guy was a student at the tech college where i was taking a course....
    for the life of me i could not remember his first name .... mike....

    the same name as my husband.....

    i will venture to say i am way past caring....

  • nugget

    I am lucky that I have had a life of training in how casual JW relationships are. I had been in 6 congregations and when I left each congregation I would leave behind many friends. But once gone I was usually forgotten even if I was close geographically. I think in all my years in when I was no longer in the congregation I only saw these people at conventions and funerals and then only if they were in the same circuit.

    I would not be invited to weddings, get togethers, or anything else even for people I had known well. Funnily enough that applied to family who would have get togethers for brother and sisters but would never think of including us.

    JWs are bad friends if effort is required then forget it.

    Do I care what they all think not really none of them called to ask why I was df'd or how I was, they only called to try to get me to a JC. Funnily enough I care more what my children think of me.

  • I quit!
    I quit!

    Sad but true Terry. Witnesses can turn their friendship with you on and off like a light switch. I think the way fading works is like this: If you prentend to believe all of the Watchtower's teachings then the people at the KH will pretend to be your friend. But step out of the role of character you are playing for a minute and you will see how quickly the house of cards falls apart.

    You're right it isn't worth it.

  • moshe

    Terry, I designed a lapel button for an ex-JW to wear, who has a JW who is shunning them.

  • Botzwana

    I am dealing with that now. It is so sad for me. All those years wasted on so called friends. None have called me since I moved to Mexico in these 4 years. HAve I called them? About 6 times each. They have never even asked for my phone number. LOUSY people!

  • White Dove
    White Dove

    Just got a letter from Grandmother that said that she heard I had da'd and that if that was true, that would ruin a very close relationship between her and I.

    I'm still shaking from reading it.

    I'm so very angry about it.

    Egg called her and had to BS her about how connected we are with the congregation here.

    She wouldn't say who said, but it was a family member.

    Bet's on Mother, her arch-enemy-in-law.


    Made me sick.

    Yes, Terry, you hit the nail on the head and also provided Egg and me with some comfort.

    Thank you

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