My Wife is reading "Learn From a Great Teacher" to my oldest daughter.

by garyneal 36 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  garyneal

  Thanks for the comments everyone.

  You could read or tell her about Job celebrating birthdays, wifey can't complain about you using a bible story but she still will. jw's forget that at one of the parties mentioned in the bible someone got to live too, now that is reason to celebrate! You could start calling your anniversary 'the birthday of your marriage' or ask daughter how an anniversary is different from a birthday? there really is no difference of course. Wife will say marriage was instituted by God or something but then what are children? chopped liver?

  My wife and I had discussed anniversaries before and even she did not see the differences between them. I remember asking her how it was different and basically she responded as if she neither knew nor cared. She just knew that birthday parties are bad and anniversaries are good. Of course, her mother came to the rescue with a heaping helping of meat in due season from the faithful slave which explained why it was okay to celebrate anniversaries but not birthdays. What a load of rubbish it was but my wife, being the good little witness that she was trained to be, swallowed it up and was thanking her mother for that wonderful provision.

  I think you're on an unpleasant hiding to no where. I'm always astonished that a married couple can be miles apart on important issues such as what to teach children.

  It is for reasons like this why I advise non-witnesses and witnesses alike not to intermarry. Truth be told, non-witnesses don't usually know any better. Especially if the witness is living a double life, those are the worst kinds of witnesses as they are misleading the clueless 'worldies.' I told my sister-in-law, who is currently living a VERY non-witness lifestyle not to marry anyone who is not a witness if she still believes in the religion. When I told my wife about that incident on the way to the last assembly, she got upset because she was thinking that I was so unsatisfied with our marriage that I was warning others not to end up like me. I will admit that I do sometimes find myself unhappy with our marriage, the main reason for my doing so was presented in a skit during the assembly. Two families were depicted, one a 'worldly' family where everyone was so busy and everyone lived seperate lives, the other a witness family where everyone did everything together as a family. My wife said that we were SO the first family.

  I called BS on that one, we do things together on the weekends all the time. Family movie nights during the summer, visits to the water parks, the parks, our daughter's ballet, gym, and soccer practices. We do a lot, but the WT would only present two extremes and expect the witnesses to believe everyone is either one or the other with no in between. And she wonders why I advise witnesses and non-witnesses alike not to intermarry.

  lovelylil:

  Thanks for the heads up, I will check into that book more and express my concerns to my wife.

  PSac:

  Yeah, Paul's words in this regard does not work with her but let him say something legalistic and she will latch onto it. Especially if the slave said so.

  Mad Sweeney:

  My thoughts exactly. Truth is there is nothing explicitely prohibiting birthday celebrations in the Bible so if one is simply going by what the Bible said, there is room for interpretation.

  For example, the demons like it when a boy and a girl play with each other's penis or vulva. We don't want to make the demons happy, do we? --

  What's crazy is somehow I must have been exposed to such religious propaganda like this myself when I was young, because I can imagine demons smiling while picturing someone masturbating when I was little. It's ridiculous on so many levels to even teach any of this to children. When I find this, I am going to point this out to my wife and try to appeal to the school teacher inside of her. What would she, as a school teacher, think if she found out one of her 3 and 4 year old kids was being read this? If that doesn't work, then perhaps I will suggest she quote this to her assistant and see what response she gets.

  "Mommy, does this mean you and daddy play with each other's penis and vulva?" I can imagine the answer too: "No, because we don't need any more babies."
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  garyneal

  cantleave:

  Thanks for the warning. Yes, I am going to do my best to provide my children with a normal as childhood as I can. Especially considering the circumstances.

  I suppose, if the beheading occured at a wedding anniversary party, JWs would be opposed to them, too. Except, that poor people had no clue back then when their wedding anniversay was, either. Calendars were for the rich and powerful, who could read and understood math.

  Yes, I recall your reasoning on this in my anniversary thread. Not that I am trying to give the witnesses more wiggle room, but one thing that did cross my mind concerning this was the fact that neither King David nor King Saul was recorded in the Bible as having celebrated their birthdays.

  I would also be wary of the old "My Book of Bible Stories" book, as some of the pictures are very dark and scary (like the woman crying holding her baby because they didn't make it into the ark). Definitely not a nice bedtime story.

  I must admit, even my wife has a hard time reading that book to my daughter. She can be reasonable from time to time. One time, she recounted a meeting she attended where the speaker advised the congregation not to watch violence on TV and in the movies. Then before the end of the meeting, the congregation was encouraged to keep reading 1st or 2nd Kings. I don't recall which one exactly but I do recall her telling me that it seemed like a contradiction to tell people not to watch violence but encourage them to read one of the most violent books in the Bible.

  jgnat:

  Thanks for the encouragement. My oldest is very intelligent indeed.

  nugget:

  What good advise, I will try to reach some sort of compromise with my wife. Meanwhile, I will try to present the good things about the parties to my kids and get them to reason why God would be saddenned so much.

  My mom let us celebrate our birthdays in exchange for our silence towards our JW relatives. It was weird having secrets about normal things.

  So much of this is so wierd. I cannot possibly imagine what it is like having been raised this way. I sometimes think this is why my wife and her sister are so messed up.

  When mutual respect is part of the dynamic, all that secrecy, shame and my-way-or-the-highway mentality has nowhere to take root.

  Yep, I've often pointed out to my wife that I think that the idea of mutual respect is alien to her. Some of it, I think, may stem from her being stubborn and wanting control but I believe her religion also has a part to play in some of the episodes too. Like the one where my wife got upset and nearly stormed out over a book.
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  beenthere26yr

  I feel ill from reading this. I lived this story and now my children are grown. 1 agnostic son and 2 witness daughters and now 2 wonderful grandchildren ages 3 & 6 already being "indoctrinated".

  I won't tell you that you can't win, I hope you do, but I didn't.

  She might agree on some things right now but later you will probably find out she's doing it secretly anyway.

  Headship card doesn't work cause it always gets trumped by obey god before man.

  Good luck
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  Snoozy

  The way I see it is that the JW's throw a bigger hissy fit and win the right to ruin their kids lives. Is that how it works?

  There is no way I would ever ever let someone read any JW literature to my child. My kids read the "Paradise" book when they were young and to this day (they are in their 40's and 50's) and still have nightmares about the ground opening up and killing them. I should sue the Wtachtower society for that! Even one of the neighborhood girsl that often sat in on the studies has the nightmares..those books are NOT meant for children! If you allow it you are as guilty as she is of child endangerment and abuse!
  It's a shame that your wife can control the situation because of her threats..where is your daddy spine?
  It's too late for my kids but it's not too late for you to give your kids a normal life and free of all that horrible crap they peddle ..you will regret it if you don't. I feel you are just taking the easy way out. Giving in and hoping for a good outcome..it doesn't work that way.

  Snoozy..JMO...
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  Retrovirus

  garyneal wrote My oldest is very intelligent indeed

  Then you're very probably home free. Who do kids listen to in late primary school and their teens - their own age group or their parents?
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  Snoozy

  Then you're very probably home free. Who do kids listen to in late primary school and their teens - their own age group or their parents

  "You're gonna die if you don't come to the JW religion" has a pretty strong pull for anyone..teen or not. Even if they don't believe it , there is always a "What if" thought in their mind that may not go away! Doesn't matter if it is true or not!

  It's like going to a fortune teller..you don't really believe and know it is mostly nonsense but ,you still hang on every word she says and "Wonder"..

  Snoozy
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  garyneal

  The way I see it is that the JW's throw a bigger hissy fit and win the right to ruin their kids lives. Is that how it works?

  If you allow it you are as guilty as she is of child endangerment and abuse!

  It's a shame that your wife can control the situation because of her threats..where is your daddy spine?

  Giving in and hoping for a good outcome..it doesn't work that way.

  Well, first off, I've hardly given in at least not fully. My wife laments the fact that she does not have a normal un-believing spouse. How many UBM's do you know back when you were a witness participate in the largest apostate website for Jehovah's Witnesses? Or owns copies of Crisis of Conscious and The Gentile Times Reconsidered. Or has friended several big name JW apostates on facebook such as Paul Blizzard, Gary Busselman, and Randy Watters?

  None of the UBM's that any of her aunts have go to the level of learning about her religion and being involved in the kids lives as I have. That's because I too was affected by the propaganda and began to wonder if it is true or not. I had to prove it to myself and the more I look for the answer to the big question, the more questions I seem to find but one thing I learned very quickly is if there is indeed truth in this world, the witnesses do not have a monopoly on it. Especially considering that their unique teachings are based on lies and fabrications.

  In regards to my wife controlling the situation, perhaps maybe you can be of some assistance in how a Jehovah's Witness woman thinks. Imagine if you had an UBM who took your kids to church if they wanted to go and invited you to go too. Imagine that this mate associated with JW apostates and read their literature and decided based on reading them that he could not in good conscious be a Jehovah's Witness. Imagine being told at the meetings that your kids will die at Armageddon if you do not try to get your children to become witnesses. How would you act? If your UBM objected in even the slightest way, how would you feel? How would you respond?

  Would you characterize yourself as stubborn and self righteous? Would you be stubborn, or should I say, committed to ensuring that your children learn 'the truth' in the face of 'strong opposition from Satan?' You see, my wife genuinely believes Satan has gotten to me through apostates like you and others here. Nevermind the fact that some of you are still Christian. How would you, as a believing witness, respond?

  Many husbands try to keep the peace while still standing up and doing what what he feels is right. Many husbands, unfortunately, how stubborn, self righteous wives who are domineering and somewhat abusive at times. My wife certainly is not the worst and is actually quite pleasant most of the time, but if she is defending her cherished beliefs she (understandly) digs in and can get downright mean at times. I try not to get too upset for I know I could expect the same if a fundamentalist Muslim or Christian were faced with the same thing. Unfortunately, tolerance is not readily taught to fundamentalists types as members of my former cult can attest.

  I'll keep standing up for what I believe is right, but a situation like mine requires that we both make some compromises here and there.