by petitebrunette 27 Replies latest jw experiences
I think you should act on what YOU think is right, and what YOU want to do. I don't think you should tailor your actions to conform with what they might think of something you do. I know that's easier said than done, and perhaps too soon to be thinking any other way yet, but hopefully, eventually, they won't have such power over you.
What you think about you matters. Not what they think about you.
Tammy
If her organs have shut down and she is unconcious there is little you can do going to the hospital. The hearing is the last of the senses to go but with no up to date information you could arrive too late and gone through trauma for nothing. They obviously do not think that necessary family business applies here. The only reason to go would be if you had a close relationship with your gran and she would want you to be there. Honouring her wish would trump JW rules and you would be making a difference to her.
JW funerals are an insult to the deceased in most cases and would be a chance for you to be mass shunned at a time when you are already feeling emotional. If they have been tight lipped about hospital they may also feel that you do not need to be advised of funeral arrangements.
Hi Petitebrunette,
Sorry to hear about your grandmother. You said they texted you her address to the group home. If it was me I would go visit her at the group home. This would be a neutral place for you and your family. You can say your good byes there versus being stuck in a hall of uncaring people you will judge you versus looking at the reason they’re there to remember your grandmother.
Just wanted to say I'm sorry to hear about the situation with your grandmother.
If she shunned you too, then you might feel comfortable just having your own personal memorial away from the rest of the family.
Either way, it's a stressful time.
I attended my mother's funeral at the hall I had been an elder at. She was loved by all & the hall was packed. Hundreds attended. People I had known my entire life were there. I was DF'd at the time & brought my new wife. Out of all those people, two had the courage to give me a hug. I was grateful for that.
PETITEBRUNETTE- I'm so sorry your grandma is dying. AND that you found out about it in an impersonal way. But if I were you I'd attend the Memorial to prove your JW relatives wrong as most of them think that we are all insensitive after exiting the JW's. So it would serve the dual purpose of paying respects to your grandma and proving the Witnesses wrong. Just my 2 cents. Sorry you are going through this. Take care
Thank you so much for your comments. I just talked with my ex-husband who went to see her today. She's pretty much out of it, but he thinks she responded to him. He's going to give me the phone number. I just don't know if I want to go. The last few years all she talked about was witnesses, and made me feel like crap. What if she is aware, and doesn't want me there? I just don't know what to do. I really expected a phone call from my Mom. They think they're so loving by the shunning, but they're the exact opposite. But they'll never see it.
Sometimes, when people get old and out of it, they revert to earlier beliefs, or drop beliefs. Everyone is different, of course. Even if it is stressful, seeing her one last time might give you some satisfaction, after she's gone. Then again, you're the judge.
My mother, i will very likely never see, again. She is seriously bent. My father, though we always had a strained relationship, we more or less patched things up a yr or 2, before he died. I am really glad we did that. We can both rest, now.
S
