by Star tiger 10 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
Hi all,
These evil manipulative B*****s have ruined any normal life I could have had, are there any other people that have shared the same experience, my wife does not understand as she has had nothing to do with this evil cult, I welcome your comments!! thankfully my wife puts up with me but she will never understand!!!
Star Tiger
It's near impossible to understand unless you've been through it yourself. I was born and raised a JW and am still stuck in. Just waiting for the right opportunity to jump ship. I feel your pain :)
I know it sucks, man, but you're not alone. The JWs try to isolate their members so that when/if they leave, they are SO alone and forlorn that they return to the vomit just to have people to talk with.
It is easier to say "move on" than it is to actually do it, but you can and you will. You are NOT alone. Even if your main source of support is here online, at least you have people who DO understand. Most of us have been there. I was barely wiping my butt and tying my shoes when my mom started studying in earnest, and she was a RV for several years before that. I KNOW what it's like being raised in the Borg. The worst part about the sadness is that you are told weekly that you are happy and so, knowing that you're NOT, you end up blaming yourself for feeling the way you do, as if your own feelings are WRONG. And the Borg gleefully tells everyone that, too, "your feelings are wrong; don't ever trust your heart," and all that bull.
We ought to have a weekly "rant against the Borg" thread, just for everyone to shout out the vitriol we feel for that evil and corrupt organization. It would be fun and theraputic at the same time.
Good luck to you. Hope you manage to turn things around.
At least you married outside the cult
Have a look at the latest paranoid offering. Would it help your wife to get the point if she read it?
http://download.jw.org/files/media_magazines/ws_E_20110715.pdf
What you are thinking about is in the past- it exists in memories, photos and other junk, but really it is gone forever. You have to examine it, work out what it meant to you- and then throw it away.
Do some positive things- join a mainstream church, go into therapy, buy your own Bible, read some higher criticism of the Bible... bust out in all directions.
It's your life- forgive & forget and move on. Time waits for nobody.
forgive & forget and move on. Time waits for nobody.
Good advice. I'm still working on this. Don't take as long as I have.
But, yes, I do understand that feeling of sadness and isolation. And I think it is directly related to being raised a JW. It's good to get on this forum and talk about it and release those feelings and anger.
www.freeminds.org You are not alone.
The real Jesus wants to heal you and set you free. If you know Him, He will meet your deepest needs. He also has a large church family of hundreds of millions in various Bible-believing Christian churches (avoid the liberal, nominal ones). Don't give up on God/Jesus, Bible, Church just because you were in a cult that messed you up. Running from God and living in the flesh is not the answer, but it does take time to get over the past. I rejoice that you have seen the truth about the WT and pray that you will not remain in a vacuum, but find the One who gives abundant and eternal life, the Lord Jesus Christ.
Star Tiger, I don't know your story per se. But I'd suggest removing whatever power these people still have over you that allows them to make you feel this way.
If that power comes from lingering influences of the WTS, then one thing you might do is learn more about why they're wrong and what's screwed up about it. At least then, in your mind, you can see that there's no reason to take anything the Society says--including its opinions about "people like you"--seriously. Once you realize that, you also see that these JWs in your life are judging you based on those same teachings. Only these are teachings have no basis in reality. So that part of their power over you will be removed.
If part of that power comes from other avenues, like parents and family who see you as a disappointment, try to realize that they're manipulating you. And they're doing it because they are, on some level, kinda screwed up.
If you break it down, eventually, you come to a new understanding of these people. They're attempts start to bounce off of you, and when that happens, you'll see the surprise in their eyes. Even the disappointment. "Oh, I thought I was going to get a charge out of judging you today. You're no fun!"
It can get gradually easier. Once you're on the other side of it all, you'll be a better person for it. First, try to understand all the reasons these experiences are still bothering you and work from there.
It does take a while to move on from the cult and those feelings. Your very lucky to have a spouse who's not in the cult. What has helped me was to find something to be passionate about. I have immersed myself in learning about science and the financial industry, something I felt was forbidden before. Doesn't mean I will persue those fields, I just love to gain the knowledge.
Time doesn't necessarily heal all wounds but it sure helps the scabs get smaller lol
izzy
It is hard I think of people in the organisation like bonsai trees. Cramped and small and constrained. Some of the trees are beautiful but they are destined never to reach their potential all the time they are kept in the smal container.
The society hems people in with rules and doctrine interfering in every aspect of life. They drive a wedge between you and the rest of humanity making you different and awkward. It takes time to break down all this conditioning so that you can blow out candles on a birthday cake without feeling guilty and walk into a church and not get the jitters.
all the time we look back we renew the power they have over us. The best revenge we can have is to live well and be happy. Everytime I do something I know they would disapprove of I revel in it. Everytime I spend my time doing family things on a Saturday and sleeping in on a Sunday I take pleasure in it.
My life would certainly have been different without the organisation but it has helped me appreciate the freedoms I now enjoy in a very profound way.
