What drove you? Love or Fear?

by fade_away 29 Replies latest jw experiences

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  blondie

  I did it out of love for people not fear. I think it is not realistic nor are we qualified to assess mental illness. Plus very few jws have had any experience with other religious groups or they would see that bizarre behaviors and emotional and mental control of its members is not unique to the WTS.

  I felt that many do it out of selfish reasons though that is they focus on the benefits for themselves and their family first and secondary other people. Unfortunately too many jws don't feel they have to convert anyone to get their everlasting life, that they don't work on commission.
• 

  WTWizard

  It was more fear--but not of getting destroyed (I took that for granted). It was fear of getting hounded if my field circus dropped below what they saw as normal. With the kinds of scumbags so common in the religion, I have next to nothing to lose by blowing out. (Except, possibly the sleep they might lose worrying about seeing me back at the boasting sessions).
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  the max

  It was never love, I didnt give a f;;k for anyone i called on, it was just funtional, the most spiritual people were the ones who sold_placed most mags, i could have sold loads, the watchtower was shite, the awake was better, more intresting.I dont know about the rest of you but spirituality = mag sales,yet the potential for love and encouregement,was there though never embraced, if i had resposibility, mag sales would have been irrelevent, would have sent them back,Bethel could used them for toilet paper.Everybody moves through life at there own pace to try and move all humanity at the same pace was and, is ludicorus,So not love nor fear, just indiference, I would never allow myself to be compromised, by anyboby, thats why im here, and unlike all my friends i wanted to be honest and be dfd whils they took the easy way out, a message to all those with family,fade,Im not goinb to finish with all that love bullshit.
• 

  Anne Marie 1925

  Wow...GREAT post!!! I am SO glad that you brought this one up, "Fade Away"!! Most JWs (or "Watchtowerites") simply don't "get" this very important point: that they are in the religion, frantically "loyal" to it, because THEY ARE AFRAID. And I would bet that most don't know it.

  I left the organization at age fifteen, resigned to the "fact" that Jehovah God was going to DESTROY me because I knew I just couldn't live up to the "Watchtower Script"; as just another "robot," "clone" Jehovah's Witness. I thought God was a big hypocrite because He was "a God of LOVE" who hated me, and was going to kill me...oh, well.

  My mother (afraid for my life) sent the witnesses to warn me of the impending Armageddon in early 1975, but I told them I refused to have anything to do with a "God of love" who was a monster. Then they used the "Blood-Guilt" trip on me, pointing to my babies playing on the floor and asked, "Are you really prepared to have Jehovah destroy your children? Do you really want their blood on your hands just because YOU don't want to take a stand for Jehovah?" So what did I do?? I busted my butt (and my children's, too) to be the best, most obedient JW I could, and for what?? Now I am an "evil apostate" just because I was stupid enough to fall for what turned out to be lies...

  Regarding the comment about the emotional or mental state of converts to the Watchtower message...it's true. It's all too true.

  When the witnesses came to see me, I was a competent and intelligent twenty-year-old. I had been through a lot in my life, and I knew I needed to get counseling. But the witnesses told me what they told everyone who thought that they needed a therapist, that "Jehovah will take care of everything," and that "Satan uses psychologists and psychiatrists to stumble people..." and provided Watchtower literature for "proof."

  I used to see a Homeopathic doctor, and I used to "witness" to him at each and every appointment. The last time I saw him, I began my "Watchtower Doctrine Spewing," and he put up his hand and asked me to stop. "Please," he said. "Please stop. I know all about your religion, and I've been to your Kingdom Hall; I know all about your beliefs; believe me. But I have to tell you that as a psychiatrist, they are some of the sickest people I've ever seen. When one suffers from an emotional disorder that they don't want to deal with, they look for something to make them feel like they're "okay." And especially when someone is co-dependent, they will either become a work-aholic, an alcoholic, or they'll find religion...or they may become an addict of more than one, but they will become addicted to at least one of them."

  He went on to explain that those most vulnerable emotionally are the ones quickest to "grab hold of" the Watchtower's "good news" because it's like a life-line; the people at their door are "so nice," and they "paint such a pretty picture" of the idea of having all their problems solved by just joining the Watchtower...

  This doctor told me the truth, and he really was a retired practicing psychiatrist who actually worked at a mental hospital, but I was SO ANGRY at him for DARING to "bad mouth" MY Watchtower religion...I was SO "spitting mad"...that I vowed that I'd never see him again. (And what a shame, because he was the only one who knew what was medically wrong with me!! )

  If only each and every JW would take the Watchtower's own advice as per their 1968 publication, "The Truth That Leads To Eternal Life," namely, how WHY it is "wise to examine" one's religion; devoting the entire second chapter of the book to just HOW "wise" it is, and if I had only taken that advice, I could have saved my children and myself YEARS of pain and fear and anguish...
• 

  Bungi Bill

  the max:

  Your comments ref. Magazine Sales = Spirituality are all too true.

  I would, though, take it one step further:

  - as far as the JWs are concerned, THE Barometer of Spirituality is that "Total Hours" column on the Monthly Report Card.

  Hardly an atmosphere that engenders love - but then what can you expect from an outfit that places numerical increase ahead of the welfare of its rank and file members?

  Bill

  PS: Blondie - politically correct answer, but I still don't believe ya!
• 

  Lozhasleft

  It was love for God that led me in and conversly it was the same love that led me out.

  Loz x
• 

  Twitch

  Being a born & raised in, I'd have to say neither love nor fear drove me. I just didn't know any different. But love for humanity (and perhaps a woman at the time) was one of the reasons I left. Fear of living my life with regrets of things I wanted to do but didn't was another. Damn the torpedoes and Jah's imminent cleansing bloodbath, I was gonna do what I wanted in this life.
• 

  moon84

  I remember being five and I just had this strong urge to get up from my seat while the meeting was going and to say out, "I don't like this and I want no part of this. I want nothing to do with any of this. I can think for myself." I really could not believe that I recalled a memory of me sitting in the seat at 5 and daydreaming about saying this to nearly 130 JW. Of course I imagined I would have to run my little 5 year old butt out of the KH before they caught me and possibly beaten in public for it. I really had no love for any of it. At 5 I just knew it was not right for me in any way. I would sit though out the meeting thinking of ways to run away from the U.S. and hide in Europe just because I would never want to be found and dragged back to that place. I just felt like I was dying a little by little everyday.
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  alias

  fear
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  the_raisin

  It was more curiosity. Because the conversations always led to a 'whole new world' that was rid of disease after Armageddon, and complete with a matching set of cuddly lion cubs and whales to ride, I was driven by my mere curiosity of finding out how it would work out. Especifically, how in the world were we supposed to clean our planet, where were we going to live, who was going to resurrect (that witchy old lady? or the cranky old brother?), and to me more importantly, the secrets of the universe. I was also hoping I'd get told a couple of things, like who really killed Kennedy, and if there are aliens.

  :p