I'm at a loss here

by sabastious 26 Replies latest jw friends

  • sabastious
    sabastious
    I think you need to have a talk with your brother. And ensure those children are safe, even if you make an anonymous phone call to the right authorities.

    There's really no way to be anonymous about this. If I call the authorities and they go down there it will be very easy to figure out who sent them. My brother will know and I don't know if he could keep it a secret.

    -Sab

  • sabastious
    sabastious

    I asked my brother if he felt he had a moral obligation to those kids and he looked me straight in the eye and replied very firmly, "I do not have any obligations to those kids."

    It freaked me out to be honest.

    -Sab

  • sabastious
    sabastious
    You have no idea the anguish in a child's mind when that child thinks no one can save him/her....that nobody sees or cares.

    I do actually, all too well.

    -Sab

  • AnneB
    AnneB

    Would it help you know what to do if you realized that the party people are bullies? They're bullying the rest of you, the mom, the grandmom, the kids, your brother, you, whoever is involved, into silence.

    Tough if they know it was you! Stand up...for the sake of those kids. PLEASE.

  • jamiebowers
    jamiebowers

    If things are as wild at this house as you say, there are probably lots of possibilities as to who called children's services. I would call if I were you. John and Charlie should be removed from the home, and if your brother can't keep your calling a secret, he should get a place with them.

  • AudeSapere
    AudeSapere

    Could neighbors have heard the gun shot(s)? [That would allow for plausible deniability]

    Sab wrote: It's the mother's responsibility first, so how do I figure out if she's taking care of it or not?

    Guns, drugs, extreme partying and alcoholism, in a multi-generational family doesn't make for a healthy environment for people. It's especially toxic for young children. It should be the mother's responsibility, but what if she is not taking it seriously either? It's not necessarily up to you to try to figure it out. If you have reason to believe that the children may be in jeopardy, call Child Services and let them figure out if she's taking appropriate action to keep her kids safe.

    You are a very kind, and loving man. How will you feel if you something happens again and kids get hurt and you had *not* made a call/anonomous report when you had the opportunity?

    And about your brother coming home with all the dramatic stories... Pretty soon your young son is going to start understanding the words. It's not sounding like things a toddler should hear about. It's nice that your brother and his friends know enough to keep the physical drama out of your house, but you may want to consider keeping the peripheral drama away, too.

    I'm just speaking from experience. My 30's were filled to capacity with extreme drama of people close to me. You can't keep it all at bay. But you can make your house a haven for yourself, your wife and your son. They clearly respect you and you will have to carefully decide where the boundaries are. When you do, make it clear and stick to it.

    -Aude.

  • bafh
    bafh

    Time to call social services. Someone needs to step up for the children in the house and draw some boundaries.

    I've called social services - your report is anonymous. Give them specific information. They will do a welfare check. At the very least it will alert the adults in the home how serious it is that that kind of activity is going on and that they need to step it up and make sure the children are safe.

    bafh

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