The Hypnotist

by Scully 9 Replies latest social humour

  • Scully
    Scully

    It was opening night at the Orpheum, and The Amazing Claude was topping the bill. People came from miles around to see the famed hypnotist do his stuff.

    As Claude took to the stage, he announced, Unlike most stage hypnotists who invite two or three people up onto the stage to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotise each and every member of this audience.

    The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat.

    I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very
    special watch. It's been in my family for six generations.
    He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch...

    The crowd became mesmerised as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until suddenly it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.

    Crap! cried the hypnotist.

    It took three weeks to clean up the theatre.

    In the desert things find a way to survive. Secrets are like this too. They work their way up through the sands of deception so men can know them. - The X Files

  • gilwarrior
    gilwarrior

    And the moral of this story was...?

  • expatbrit
    expatbrit

    Buy a cheap Timex.

  • Mindchild
    Mindchild

    hahahahahahaha

    Did I tell you once that one of my JW relatives ended up getting thrown in jail once (he was a Kirby Vacumm cleaner salesman as well as a dub) and while in jail, one of his cell mates decided to hypnotise everyone there to be less anxious. So, my cousin, not being the brighest dub in the world goes along with this guy as do a few others, and this guy is good but decides to mind fuck them and tell them they were chickens!

    Anyway, he said he was going around in his cell scratching the floor and doing all kinds of chicken like stuff while the cops just laughed. It wore off in about an hour or two but by that time the hypnotist was gone but my cousin was really pissed. lol I guess he didn't know about the JW ban on hypnosis as being demonized.

    Not as funny as your story but really happened.

    Skipper

  • mommy
    mommy

    Scully,
    Hehe. I actually had to read it twice before I got it, but too funny
    wendy

  • gilwarrior
    gilwarrior

    I have read the story three times and I still don't get it!

  • rem
    rem

    SHIT, Gilwarrior, I thought that joke was some funny CRAP!

    rem

    "We all do no end of feeling, and we mistake it for thinking." - Mark Twain
  • Scully
    Scully

    Dear Gilwarrior:

    When the hypnotist said CRAP!! the audience obeyed his order.

    do you get it now??

    Love, Scully

    In the desert things find a way to survive. Secrets are like this too. They work their way up through the sands of deception so men can know them. - The X Files

  • GinnyTosken
    GinnyTosken

    Scully,

    I think Gilwarrior is really Mojo Jojo!

    Want me to get him, Blossom?

    Buttercup

  • think41self
    think41self

    ROTFLOL Scully

    Very funny story, thanks for sharing!

    Gilwarrior, you crack me up too

    think41self

    She had the vocabulary of a brothel owner specializing in service to sailors with Tourette's syndrome

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