by JRK 27 Replies latest jw friends
Wow saltyoldlady, you sure do have a lot of reasons to feel blessed.
I'm not DF'd yet, just faded at the moment, but I love the mental freeness. I love that the huge burden of guilt I carried around as a JW is gone. I love that the never feeling good enough anxiety is gone. I like this new me.
NLW's wife
Being that I just disappeared, the major worries are that some dingbat in the congregation is going to get the stupid idea of pulling me back to his dump and hosting me, in exchange for being held captive as a witless. Cutting off my means of sustenance while supplying the basic necessities in exchange for perfect boasting session attendance and pio-sneering would be their means of preventing me from ever blowing out again. And, with the Great RecessionDEPRESSION in place, starting another life would then be almost impossible especially if every bit of silver I managed to get my hands on gets left behind or put into the Worldwide Pedophile Defense Fund.
Of course, once hyperinflation sets in, that will make it that much more difficult for those dingbats to actually execute this idea. They only get so many toilet paper dollars, and if it costs TP$600 quattrogillion for a suit and TP$200 quattrogillion for a field circus bag, they are not going to have that kind of money to spend dragging me back into the cancer. And they are unlikely to have enough gold and/or silver to do the same thing with the Filthful and Disgraceful Slavebugger telling them that it is all going to crash.
One blessing, faded or disfellowshipped, is that I no longer have their crap investment(??) advice to adhere to. I can invest whatever I see fit, however I see fit. Whether in toilet paper dollars (I now refer to any dollar that is not backed by anything more than a promise as "toilet paper" because of the imminent collapse that can happen at any time, as QE2 indicates cojuld happen soon), toilet paper Euros, toilet paper yen, or something actually backed in physical assets and commodities, I can do as I see fit. No more Filthful and Disgraceful Slavebugger telling me that it is all going to zero. No more throwing it away on the Worldwide Pedophile Defense Fund. I live with the consequences of my decisions--for better or worse, and no one else gets to worry about it.
To NLW's Wife - Yeah - I know. I got going and just couldn't shut up. LOL.
My disfellowshipping was, by far, the greatest blessing in my life.
When I was a JW, I was a really bad person. I was judgemental, bigoted, chauvinistic, wrathful, full of rage, abusive, dishonest, narrow-minded, uneducated, sanctimonious, and worst of all, I hoped for the destruction of billions of people. I was absolutely miserable.
In the past 20 years since being ousted from the cult, I have become such a better person. I have real friends and family that love me unconditionally & don't gossip behind my back. I no longer look down on people who don't share the same views as I do. I have a great job, I got an education. I no longer spend my days wallowing in fear & guilt. I can truly say that I love my fellow man. I'm no longer a homophobe, bigot, or chauvinist. I truly feel like a productive member of society. Most of all, I can truly say that I am happy.
The advantage today for those that are DF, recover time.
So much info to deprogram. Not like it was when I was DF years
ago. There is some conslolation in knowing that your are not along
others have done the same, and they are OK. The greatest feeling
in the world is when you discover who you are, and let your
conscious guide you.
Da'd here - same situation, different terminology. Same blessings.....( AK-Jeff ).....Yeah....that too, waited 12 yrs before doing that, not knowing the rules chagned. But, that's another story.
JRK...well balanced view. Although it is hard on some folks due to family and a wide range of other reasons.
saltyoldlady...Jeeez you were a hard workin bee in the hive.
When I Da'd my father had returned to the tower after twenty years of being free. Of course he had to shun me. Walked around in shock a short time, but that was my dad, loved him. If that's what he wanted then that's what he wanted. Never lost sleep over it. He was a bit crafty though. Would come by and visit Kathy and my daughter who were never jw's. If I was home, funny how that worked, we visited.
Enjoyed reading yall's comments. Good to be free, eh?
The religion wants to see disfellowshipped people crawl on broken glass first. Yeah. It would be cold day in hell before I would do that.
God, that hurts when I recall once being the one who threw the the broken bottles.
Being df'd was the best way for me to exit this religion. When I realize the problems faders have, I feel for them. Yet once upon a time that was the route I wanted to take. I wanted to keep my JW friends and family and thought fading was the best way I could do this and remain happy. Well, it didn't work out that way. For some years after being df'd I pursued reinstatement, but when I realized that the judicial committee wanted me "to crawl over broken glass first", I abandoned all efforts to get reinstated.
I miss my JW friends, of course. But I have many friends who are not JWs, so I didn't suffer from the kind of loneliness others have. And it is nice to be able to accept invitations to birthday celebrations as well as Christmas and Easter dinners. I am happy to sit at home on autumn Saturdays and watch college football without going out in field service or pro football on Sundays without going to boring meetings. I can plan trips now without having to worry about potential conflicts with JW assemblies and/or conventions.
One blessing I had came last Sunday night. For the first time since 1975 I did not attend the Memorial. I felt no anxiety as sunset approached last Sunday and was glad I wasn't at the Kingdom Hall. As a df'd person, the Memorial was always the worst meeting of the year for me. The shunning I experienced in the Hall on that night was the most severe. I was never made to feel welcomed, wanted, or loved. I began to realize that attending the Memorial was nothing more than spiritual abuse, and there was no reason to put myself through that anymore. Boycotting the Memorial severed the last link I had with the WTS, and really underlined the freedom I can now enjoy.
Quendi
