How sweet...Not knowing when family dies....

DanielHaase

Ahhh, just blowing off a little steam here...perhaps many of you have been through the same shit. I knew for the past couple of years that my uncle in Mobile was dying of cancer. Well, the last time my mother and I talked (around october I think)she said, "well, we were in Mobile all last weekend for Uncle *****'s funeral". Thanks alot for telling me. Now I'm just curious who else has died. This is the shit that gets to me the most. It makes me appreciate the bumper sticker, "Be nice to your kids, they may choose a nursing home" even more...

nelly136

I just check the obits now and then and cut out the middleman,
nelly

Marilyn

Hi Dan, As my parents are still alive, they tell me who's dying, and who's getting engaged or married or having babies (all my relatives are dubs). When they're gone, I won't have any information coming in at all. My cousin died suddenly a couple of years ago but I didn't go to the funeral coz I didn't want to go where I wasn't wanted. I was left out on a limb to ponder all the happy memories I had of her before 'them'. It's sureal isn't it? In your wildest dreams you just can't imagine how 'they' take part in this form of emotional exclusion.

marilyn

freeman

All together now, 1... 2... 3... CULTS SUCK!

Any questions?

Freeman

safe4kids

Hi Daniel,

Sorry to hear of your exclusion from family happenings

I get next to no information also about people that I was close to...it's amazing to me how they treat me as if I truly were dead and gone. At least my kids won't ever have to experience such hurt from me.

Dana

nelly136

freeman, the added bonus of not being told
is not having to sit through a propaganda/advertising
slot for the borg that has little to nothing to
do with the relative thats passed.
nelly

teenyuck

Hi Daniel,

I really do understand, also. In October, my mother (JW) found out my sister (DF'd & in a different state) had a brain tumor.

My mother called her sister, whom she has not spoken to in about 2 years, and found out my uncle (MS JW) died that Monday. My aunt never would have told my mother that her brother-in-law, who she knew for 40 years, had passed away!

Unbelieveable. They are sick...

CULTS SUCK!

outnfree

puffs,

so how's your sister?

Daniel,

I can't entirely relate -- I have no relatives "in" -- but I do think that I might've shared in leaving a DF'd friend out of the loop just a few short years ago, God forgive me! How sick was that?!

Sorry for the stupidity which does so much emotional harm.

outnfree

It's what you learn after you know it all that counts -- John Wooden

Scully

I've had similar things happen to me, and I'm not DFd or DAd.

In the seven years since we stopped going to meetings, my mother has called me ONCE. Sometimes when I've visited them (it's extremely rare that they come to visit US, once in the past 3½ years) my mom will mention that someone has died, and when I express surprise and ask "when?" she'll say the most inane thing I've ever heard: "I thought you knew." Huh

When I've said things like "How would I know?? Nobody ever called me to tell me...," she'll lie to my face and say "Well I TRIED to call you, but you don't answer the phone when I call." Not true. If she EVER called, I have Call Display and would see the number. If I miss a call, I have an answering machine.

Oh, and get this: when an elderly JW that I had known all my life died, people contacted me afterward to find out why I didn't WANT to come to the Memorial Service. I would question the wording: "What do you mean 'Why did I not WANT to be there?' I didn't even KNOW about it!" I then found out that is what my mother would say when asked where I was.

It infuriates me that JWs can be so childish and ignorant. The mind games they play to make themselves look better than everyone else just make me want to puke.

Love, Scully

It is not persecution for an informed person
to expose a certain religion as being false. - WT 11/15/63

A religion that teaches lies cannot be true. - WT 12/1/91

bigfloppydog

That sucks, when your left out of things like that, my mom and I are estranged, and come the time when she passes, I probably won't be told that's the norm, when relatives don't want to have much to do with you. I probably won't go to funeral anyway, she treated me like shit anyway, and your right why go where you are not wanted. I mean they never let me know when anything else is going on, so I figure why would they bother then, except to make me feel bad.

How sweet...Not knowing when family dies....

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