Hot, Cold or Both about religion?

by mythreesons 8 Replies latest jw friends

  • mythreesons
    mythreesons

    Let me start by saying my wife and I are out, just not officially. We have not been going to the meetings for over a year. My wife and I had decided to check out other churches...I guess we had been feeling a need to do so. We went to one for maybe 3 times, then another, then yet another. Sometimes I really want to go....now I'm in a "no thanks" phase. I believe in God, yet I don't think he's in any one form of worship. (if that makes any sense?)

    My wife and I have both talked about the damage that being an ex-witness has caused us. The defenses go up when we hear any speak whatsoever about this is "the only right way". When we are asked if we would like to join a "small group" that meets in homes, I kind of cringe. I went to a church of a friend for about a month, then took a couple of weeks off. Then we get the "we missed you at church" phone calls. Now, I know they are just nice, really nice....but as a former witness...that's hits "scar tissue" if you know what I mean. I guess I'm writing this, wondering....

    Did any of you here go through this kind of phase after leaving?

  • Iamallcool
    Iamallcool

    watch Joel Osteen on TV! I am not religious at all, but I like his sermons from time to time.

  • LV101
    LV101

    I'm sure your area has radio station broadcasting some of the ministers/speakers (Joel Osteen, Joyce Meyers, Dr. Stanley) and various speakers quite educated and very interesting to listen to regarding God/Bible. My local station has several speakers scheduled throughout the day and very good.

  • mindmelda
    mindmelda

    I feel a lot more spiritual since I gave up on trying to belong to organized religion.

    I'm more fulfilled with new age metaphysics and that sort of thing, myself, not churches although I have nothing against those more liberal churches that don't use coercive or guilt tactics.

  • NewChapter
    NewChapter

    I came away no longer believing in a god, but I still feel this need to be part of something bigger. I guess community. Anyway, I wanted to be part of a group that wanted to help me be my best, without defining my best, or requiring I believe in any gods. I went to the Unitarian Universalist church for the first time last Sunday. Very cool group of people, and they don't care what I believe. It's weird, but they are inclusive of everbody.

    I'm going back. If for no other reason than they are concerned with social justice. I love this concept. In my jw daze, I didn't need to be concerned about such things cuz god's kingdom was gonna fix all of it. So I spent all those years not doing what I could. Now I get to do what I can.

    Edited for this: OH, and you can wear jeans if you like. I didn't see one tie, and only one dress. VERY comfy.

  • DeathSentry
    DeathSentry

    I find its a real challenge; like I was angry at God for quite awhile in that why would he allow myself, my parents, siblings to join an organization when we were sincerely and earnestly seeking Him? My parents and a brother are still in, one of my brothers who was never baptized still attends but my whole family is still quite loyal to the organization. I don't bring up things with them much anymore but it was the overlapping generations piece that killed it for me.

    So I don't feel that I've been scarred in any way, in fact, in some ways I'm thankful in that while it wasn't infallible, it did help me discern other aspects of religion. Like I don't watch Olsteen or Jakes or any of the other large money makers because all they talk about is prosperity with themselves becoming very prosperous by the donations coming in. Nothing wrong in being comfortable in this life but there needs to be a balance in accord with the bible. So right now, pretty much lukewarm on religion.. I too grew up always fascinated by the new age stuff and I look at things on Youtube, but even there, underlying many of them, is that there is no God or that 'we" are gods; eternal souls with no beginning and as such, no need of a creater (got into some debates with some on youtube about that).

    So at this point, every now and then I listen to Charles Stanley but then he also gets into politics and a focus just on america so then I tune him out as well. There is the Reformed Church of Christ who seem to borrow a lot of the same beliefs as the witnesses (the good beliefs I'll say), but they also focus just on the "English Speaking Nations of the World". I sent them a number of emails about that and how could they exclude the rest of the world.

    So to me its exhausting and I've given up on trying to find another religion. I feel a void but really not sure what to do about it. I do like the post about the universalist church though, I too felt like Witnesses were taught not to worry about these social justice things, the kingdom will take care of it. Well, the kingdom isn't here so....

    I remember bringing up something to a brother one time. A guest speaker came in after having been a missionary in Africa and I remember him constantly referring to going to "deepest darkest africa"; almost a throw-back to some racist terms of early explorers. I saw some of my african american brothers and sisters look a bit uncomfortable during the talk and I eventually walked out thinking could he not be more insensitive with so many in the audience? So the universalist church and the bahai are two that eventually I may look into.

  • DesirousOfChange
    DesirousOfChange

    they are concerned with social justice

    But whose "justice"?

    Isn't that just opening another (or several) "can of worms" that no one can agree on? Same as religion?

    Abortion; gay unions/marriage; euthenasia; civil rights/racial quotas; welfare vs. charity;

    "basic human rights" (like healthcare) vs. survivial of the fittest; capitalism vs. socialism; etc etc

    (Wishing) if it were only so easy.........

  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    I have been out five yrs now . When i first faded I still believed in the bible and God just not JW doctrine . I felt the need to check out other faiths . I attended a neighborhood Methodist church and it was a wonderful experience .

    I too though had moments of dejuvue when they did skits and it reminded me of the KH. It was a good experience in that I learned everything the Witnesses had taught me about other churches was not true and demons did not hurl themselves upon me when I stepped into church !.... The people in this church are very caring ,loving , excited about God .They also are very concerned in getting their young teens involved and I was impressed how much they do for each other . However after about a yr in a half I no longer felt the need to keep attending .

    I think at first I just needed the sense of community . I have a friend that use to be an Elder ,he faded and became a Unitarian and loves the acceptance there along with the social involvement .

    There are still times I feel nostalgic about religion and the Bible. For the most part I now think the Bible along with God are just made up by man because we are afraid of death . However I will keep an open mind because one big lesson I have learned is that I may not know anything :)

    When I see stories of great sacrifice by humans to help others it warms my heart whether they do it in the name of religion or not .

    I no longer have answers to the big questions such as where do we go when we die , is there a God ,ect...? But it is okay for me now . I am comfortable not having answers because one thing i know for sure is NO one does know for sure !

  • jaguarbass
    jaguarbass

    I've been out since 83. The first few years after escaping the tower, I tried about 4 churches.

    Then, I decided I'm not jumping out of the frying pan into the fire.

    I used to watch some preachers on tv for a while back in the 80's.

    Now I read my bible from time to time. I think about God a lot.

    I have a lot of theories about what is going on, but none of them are provable,

    they all require faith.

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