Classic Paragraphs in the Watchtower Study Ha Ha

by Celtic 16 Replies latest jw friends

  • hippikon
    hippikon

    expatbrit: Thanks for the laugh. But the truth is the dog went on to become a respected elder.

    BTW I do know of many experiences that have become

    greatly
    exaggerated by the time they get to the "Platform"
  • Hairy Harr
    Hairy Harr

    I remember hearing about some guy who was very opposed and would threaten the Witters with his dogs (I think they were Doberman's) when they would come by. One day he sic'd 'em on them but the Witters fended the dogs off with the mags. The wicked opposer rejoiced when he saw the returning dogs but his glee was soon diminished by the fact that the Doberman's, both of them, had Watchtowers in their pearly grips! He later ate some majic mushrooms and became a Circuit Overseer after going on Jerry Springer with his stripper wife, who is currently Special Pioneering at Ground Zero of the September 11th tradgedy....no, no I made this last mine up...or did I?

  • Klaus Vollmer
    Klaus Vollmer

    my dear, I heard, that in the meantime the dog got baptized and is on his way to be a ministerial servant. the elders of the perrro congregation ordered him to pay attention to the door. when brothers enter he is busy with his tail, when interested persons come, he say a frienly "wuff", exactly like it is demanded.
    I am quite sure gthat he makes his way to be an elder and later he may be even the presiding obverseer.
    You need not being a cultivated man to be a witness - its enough when you are a mad dog with a long tail. this is neede for when they decide to disfellowship you. they seize you at the tail and throw you out of the kingdoghall
    my dear, seldom so laughed. I imagine the dco ( dog circuit overseer), the ddo (dog district overseer) and the dog ethel, where the dogs prepare their bone meals.
    funny watchtower, with spit on the christian teachings and the disobedience to the example the Lord Jesus gave.
    poor and narrow minded in case of preaching - like false and betraying in case of NGO. real a wicked slave that tortures his brothers.

  • singsongboi
    singsongboi

    wwell, this was NOT in the WT so maybe it originated with some apostate -- but it was doing the rounds in OZ -- someone wanted to witness to their marriage partner, so they taught their budgie to witness!!

    no kidding darlings!!! the budgie did the job too, and converted the marriage partner -- think it was headed balaams ass!! or some cutsie title like that..

    personally, can't see so much great harm in this sort of stuff.... it's a bit like catholics and their little medals -- makes them all feel warm and fuzzy!!!

  • ozziepost
    ozziepost
    wwell, this was NOT in the WT so maybe it originated with some apostate -- but it was doing the rounds in OZ -- someone wanted to witness to their marriage partner, so they taught their budgie to witness!! no kidding darlings!!! the budgie did the job too, and converted the marriage partner

    Oh yes, we heard that one too! Just the type of thing to warm to congregated throng in the final talk of an assembly!

    Cheers,
    Ozzie

    "It's better to light a candle than to curse the darkness."
    Anonymous

  • drahcir yarrum
    drahcir yarrum

    David Berkowitz dog talked to him. Remember Son of Sam? So what's the problem with this story?

    "Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life son." Dean Vernon Wormer, Faber College

  • Englishman
    Englishman

    Well I heard that the dog went on to become a great composer named Bach.

    When it happened again, the next dog became Offenbach.

    Then it happened to a cat, he became Debussy.

    Oh God, I'm rambling....

    Englisshman.

    Hey! Now you are an outie, you can dance too!

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