Oh, hi by the way!

by Reality79 14 Replies latest jw friends

  • Reality79
    Reality79

    Reality79 here, hailing from the UK! I've made a couple of posts but didn't introduce myself.

    My story is a looooong one. I'm a faded JW and have been inactive for a while now. The main reason being, I've suffered a lot of mistreatment at the hands of a lot of my so called "brothers and sisters". It caused me to come down with very severe depression and other health problems and nearly destroyed my marriage. I spoke to the elders, but of course they were so clueless I might as well have confided in my pet fish. I told them I refuse to go door to door and tell people the witnesses are a "loving" organisation when the majority of them treat me like shit, and they couldn't answer that. I had therapy sessions for a few years and that helped me somewhat but I still haven't fully recovered.

    My wife who is also inactive didn't understand at first and thought I was crazy until she started to get the same treatment from these people, which in turn opened her eyes caused her to fall away too. As is expected, no one is talking to us and we've pretty much lost our 'friends' in one fell swoop. People go out there way to avoid us and the few who ask questions pretend to be concerned when they simply want to find out something to gossip about to all the other losers in that hellhole.

    This post would be a trillion words for me to even touch the surface on what I've been through.

    Reading some of the experiences on here has actually been therapeutic for me, and in fact we know two other people who have faded for similar reasons and we keep in touch all the time. I've told them about this site so one day they may even become members too!It's a relief to know you're not alone. It's no wonder so many people despise the Jehovah Wickedness cult.

    Anyways, looking forward to the interaction!

  • bigmac
    bigmac

    hello reality 79 & welcome to this site.

    there are a lot of us brits here & ive bumped a thread for you to read some.

    there is a UK site you might care to visit--

    http://www.exjw-reunited.co.uk--

    many of us here are on both sites

    the world-wide "brotherhood" (yuk) of ex-JW's is enormous----you will find many true friends here

  • NewChapter
    NewChapter

    welcome Reality. I hope the healing starts.

    I was just thinking about something this morning, and after reading your post, it may be worth writing. A hallmark of an abusive relationship is that it is exclusive. It includes the victim and the abuser. So, a man that beats his wife will not let her have friends and will try to break family connections. This is so that the victim has no where to turn. They feel like there is no where to go. No one will understand them. So they stay until they can't take it anymore and they run to a domestic violence shelter where their deprogramming begins.

    Welcome to the shelter!

  • Quandry
    Quandry

    Welcome to the forum.

    It's time for you to get involved in some worthwhile activities that make you feel better about yourself. Start with a nice walk with your wife and start spending time really noticing and enjoying your surroundings.

  • Ding
    Ding

    Welcome!

  • scotinsw
    scotinsw

    Welcome reality

    Your experience is one that is repeated on here all too often and one that many of us completley understand. You'll find lots of support on here (I know I have).

  • wobble
    wobble

    Welcome Reality79 !

    I'm from the U.K, too Mid- Kent. We are glad to see the numbers growing on here, and the variety of nationalities is good, mainly us sorry Brits and even more Yanks, but a number from Canada and even more exotic places, can you get more exotic than Canada? woops my tongue just got stuck in my cheek !

    Big Welcome again !

  • Amelia Ashton
    Amelia Ashton

    Welcome to the site Reality79.

    I too am from UK and also post on the site bigmac mentioned. Its being hit by terrible spam at the moment which is a shame. Us Brits also chat on the Broadroad every Friday at 8pm so it would be great to meet you there too.

    Glad you haven't come out alone. Hope we can be of help to you.

  • TotallyADD
    TotallyADD

    Hi from the other side of the pond. I feel for you man. As they say been there done that. I know the pain very well. All I can say to you is keep moving forward. I know there will be days you will think you are standing still, this is the time to use what you have learned in therapy to recognize whats causing it change your thinking and move on. As time goes on it will become easier and easier. You have made a great step coming onto this format. It will be therapeutic for you. You had pet fish to talk to I had the tree in the back yard. They just don't get it. When we experience that kind of abuse I don't think we will ever fully recover. But I know you can find happiness and use your unique experience to your advantage and find peace of mind. Welcome and always know we understand were you are coming from. Now happy Totally ADD

  • Heaven
    Heaven

    Welcome Reality79!

    they were so clueless I might as well have confided in my pet fish.

    Is, um, your pet fish's name Eric? And does he 'ave a license?

    I told them I refuse to go door to door and tell people the witnesses are a "loving" organisation when the majority of them treat me like shit

    I told my Mom I refuse to go door to door because the Bible doesn't say my salvation is tied in any way to handing out Watchtower and Awake! magazines. I saw how they treated my Dad years later when he couldn't pio-sneer because he had to look after his ailing wife. Not one of the JWs came to help him look after her. They just hounded him to get out there in field serve-us.

    I'm glad your wife has faded too. Time to start living your life. I hope your journey is a fun and happy one!

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