The struggle to avoid being bitter

by crazycate 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • dogisgod

    What is the difference between "bitter" and "anger"? My mom jumped into the borg when I was 8 mos old. I was fully and totally indoctrinated. I left at 36yrs. I still believed for quite a while and then when I read Franze's book I was totally blown away and then did more research. I want to separate the anger towards the society from the anger against my mom. We went round and round this even when I begged to NOT discuss it. She was "faithful" till the end but when she died that was it. She couldn't drive at night so they gave her a phone thing that she could listen to the meetings at home. The problem is that she wasn't getting their association. It was easier to give her that than pick up an old lady for the meetings. I told her I would take her and even sit with her but I'd be reading a book. (I really would have done that even though I never wanted to step into that place) She felt it was too disrepectful (which it was to the WT but was not for her). My brother and I always took her out and did for her but she missed "her congregation".

    I am trying to reestablish connections with my relatives which is not entirely successful. I blame both her and the WT for cutting us off from our family. So how do I just separate my mom whom I really, really loved and that irresponsible, despicable group of men who take everything that has meaning from out lives?

  • mac n cheese
    mac n cheese

    I was very, very bitter for over 10 years whilst still attending due to a horrible injustice by the BOE, then a very wise friend (non-JW) suggested that I deliberately skip a meeting and see if I feel less angry that day.

    I was shocked (!) that he would suggest this, but did it within the next week. I felt MUCH better after that.

    The more I missed, the better I felt. Spouse resisted for a long time, but eventually joined me. Now, we're both inactive and we're not bitter anymore. Go figure. Still don't trust people much, though.

    Good luck, everyone, it DOES get better.

    Mac n Cheese

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