Why Chinese Mothers are Superior

by skeeter1 28 Replies latest jw friends

  • Band on the Run
    Band on the Run

    She is a prof of law at Yale, the most selective law school in the country. I heard her on NPR today. It was hard to contain my horror. She confuses success in objective things with life success. I know only too well there is a vast difference. It certainly sounded like child abuse to me. Chinese culture is different,, not superior. Most of the things she wants her daughters to accomplish have to do with her own face in the culture.

    Broadly, I think we are raising brats and that the pendulum swung too far to being liberal in parenting. Concrete life skills are needed. I can't believe she is a law prof. b/c she is so extreme. A mixture of the best of Western and Eastern culture would be nice.

    Don't get me started about community colleges calling themselves college. Why can't Spanish people learn English when Chinese, Russian and other immigrants learn English as soon as possible. Spanish does not mean Spanish speaking. We are probably seeing people on the bottom rungs of society who immigrate. Go to West Virginia and see all the whites who can not do simple math or read. It is chilling.

    Balance is a good ideal.

  • DagothUr

    This type of rhetoric is specific to the communist states. Their possessions, lifestyle, goverment are always "the best", "the most advanced", "the highest" in the world. The commie state is a self-adulating fop.

  • Roski

    fulltimestudent: - I haven' read A Confucian - Daoist Millenium and I'm not familiar with Reg Little. I'm also not sure that being a diplomat would make him as knowledgeable as your average classroom teacher who deals with the fallout of the education system on a daily basis. Rote learning is not all bad - it is necessary, but when it is the only learning skill - then it becomes a problem. Rote learning itself is also not the whole problem but it does encourage a certain type of thinking strategy at a young age which continues as one grows to adulthood, and there is where it's limits are most noticeable. The title of the article in question is probably a good example of that.

    The whole passive student/active teacher thing can be a cop-out as well. While it seems nice that Asian students show a high degree of respect for their teachers (or used to) they also lay it on the teacher if they fail. It may be true that in some cases Western kids have become 'wussies', but the kind of mother mentioned in the article is not really a remedy for that. I remember some time ago on 60 minutes there was a comparison made of Western v's Asian students with the Asian kids looking all switched on and getting all the maths correct etc. The responses were as you mentioned - audience took it at face value and figured the Western ed. system was lacking whatever it was they have in China. It's easy to make that look real in such a setting. I believe Obama made a similar kind of comment about a year ago with reference to South Korean kids - there's a lot about that system he isn't aware of!!

    On the other hand (and in the mother's defense) she is only doing what she knows and has had handed down to her. The West has had years of a very different type of growth which has molded the thinking in terms of individual rights, the importance of self esteem etc, whereas in most Asian countries it has been a very different history. I guess one of their main survival mechanisms was thinking they are the best - and that's not just a Western/Asian thing; it is very much an Asian/Asian thing too.

  • FlyingHighNow

    This is like saying that your children are failures if they do not make straight A's and play piano or violin. I think happy kids are successful if they are doing things that are healthy and make them happy.

  • Butterflyleia85

    Wow ... I wonder if that's why my Japanese grandma and her husband my military grandpa was so strict with my dad... thus my dad was strict with his kids...

    Western thinking... basicly us or me... well I agree we are lacks in discipline thus resulting in laziness or not rising to full potential.

    I have a soft heart like my mother. My sister is a tough cookie and I think discipline and Chinese mothering would have done her good... she would be a genious and probably even achieve the world. As for me I probably would have commeted suiside... lol I don't do to good with pressure.

    I'm due to have a baby March 3rd and it's my first... I hope to balance my mom's way and my dad's way of raising kids...

    Interesting topic btw (by the way)!

  • lisaBObeesa

    I work very closely with a Chinese mom. We talk about culture from time to time as she struggles to raise her children here, torn by her native culture and her adopted culture.

    I've learned from her that:

    In Western culture, having choices and making choices are very highly valued. For example, Western parents often spend a lot of time letting their children try out different sports and letting their child choose the one they like best. Western parents ask their children which class they like best, and then encourage that area of study. Western parents let their children choose their own clothes. Many Western parents even let their kids choose what they eat and where they sleep! Decisions, decisions, decisions. The more decisions a child makes for themselves, the better, thinks the Western parent. Therefore, Western children become very good decision makers, able to navigate our culture full of choices that values individuality.

    Chinese culture does not place value on making choices. Chinese culture values academic success and family honor. Too many choices for a child would be considered too confusing and too distracting for the child. Too many choices would get in the way of what is most important to them: focus and learning. Since Chinese parents value academics very highly, Chinese parents spend their time teaching their children math and science and music. Therefore, Chinese children become very good at academics, able to navigate their culture of high expectations.

    Western culture values the happiness and success of the individual.

    Chinese culture values the success and honor of the family.

    In America, pop musicians and rebels are superstars. The more individual and different the better.

    In China, the best mathematicians in the country are the superstars. The mathematicians have fans and are adored. They are on TV and in magazines. Everyone wants to be a famous mathematician.

    One culture's value is not ‘right’ and the other ‘wrong.’ They are just different.

    Chinese mothers are superior at raising children who reflect Chinese values.

    Western mothers are superior at raising children who reflect Western values.

  • kurtbethel

    Overbearing helicopter moms who want to experience vicarious success through their children.......BLEAH!

  • miseryloveselders

    This is somewhat humorous to me because it plays right into the stereotype that Asian women are materialistic and gold diggers.

  • skeeter1

    Too many choices for a child would be considered too confusing and too distracting for the child.

    So, why do Chinese restaurants have the longest and most confusing menus?


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