by Newborn 10 Replies latest jw friends
These days my thoughts are driving me nuts. I need a break from my mind.
Since I split up with bf I haven't eaten or slept well and all the thoughts running through my head, abt what went wrong, abt the future etc etc., that just won't leave me alone makes me so anxious
How to turn off the brain? I'm trying to keep myself busy but still they catch up with you...
/Newborn
Prayer and a little wine work for me.
I'm thinking of you with love.
Syl
Thanks Syl same to you
I'd love a glas or two, of wine, but I don't drink
Hope you're having a good day?!
A pretty decent day, thank you, Newbie.
It's going to get better for you, also.
Syl
Well....being the anal, organized person I am....I write down everything that is bothering me, underneath all the solutions or ways of dealing with each one, no matter how ridiculous and pick one small part I think I can work on, and I put the rest away for the day. I try to focus on what I can do for that day.
This has gotten me through my parental abuse and alcholism, the cruelty at the KH, and now my chronic illness. I have found that it takes time and not falling prey to the WHAT IFS.
Thanks Blondie dear
The "what ifs" are tough!
Trying to turn off your brain is like standing on a board and trying to lift yourself off the ground - it doesn't work. Instead, become the observer of the thoughts you are having; allow them to be there, watching them come and go with acceptance and surrender, without trying to get rid of them. If you are very observant you can actually watch them as they form at a very subtle level of the mind before they are fully formed. When that happens they dissolve again right away. At some point an insight will come - "I am not my thoughts; I am 'here' (observing) and thoughts are 'there' (in the mind). What I am must be other than something thought based. What am I really?" This is called self-inquiry, and it is a powerful way of discovering your core essence. Knowing what you truly are frees you from remaining trapped in and identified with the mind, where "problems" originate.
Making this a daily exercise is best, even when things aren't troubling you. Take some time to sit down with eyes closed, relaxing into it with an attitude of exploration and curiosity, without expectation of attaining anything in particular, without any intention of ridding yourself of thoughts. Thought/mind is not to be demonized; thought is to be seen through as insubstantial and fleeting. What is it that sees this insubstantiality? That's what you truly are.
Another thing to explore is a more traditional "breath" approach, a type of mindfulness. Sit with eyes closed and put attention on the breath - feel it come in, being alert to its duration, then feel it go out; notice the pause between each breath - continue with this for 10 to 15 minutes. When you notice attention has been caught again in thinking put it back on the breath. Keep returning to breath awareness over and over, but never chastize yourself for any perceived failure - to "fail" at this is actually part of the process. Each failure is an opportunity to return to the breath, to return to awareness of what is happening. Over time you will find yourself becoming adept at keeping awareness there for longer and loner periods and you will discover as this happens that thought stream has diminished significantly. Rest in that thought free awareness and simply "be" - there is great peace and freedom there.
Newborn -- sounds like you are on the right track (believe it or not) by keeping busy, no matter how difficult. unfortunately, we go through these 4 or 5 (think it's five) processes or stages whenever we go thru a LOSS --- even a minor one, but especially a significant loss like relationships. you need to go thru the anger, depression, acceptance, denial and bargaining (maybe postponing the breakup or dealing a different form of the relationship --- so we won't have to SUFFER the loss) to some extent to heal, as ugly as it is. reality of what's happened is hard to surrender to but it's what we must face and cry, moan, whatever, about. it won't last forever but must be worked thru.
group support will help and if you've insurance, there's therapy and time.
LV101
Read Melissa Karnaze's page. Google her. She has some great articles on emotions, and how when we are having certain feelings, we should just embrace them, or rather live in them, because that is what we need to heal. So rather than withold necessary cycles of emotional ups and downs with life events, let them happen.
I sometimes just try to make the time pass by doing something I enjoy when I am upset. What do you like to do?
i go back to the 6 glasses of wine... and time, it's OK to think
