Will I ever break free from primitive JW thinking?

by Mad Sweeney 12 Replies latest jw friends

  • Mad Sweeney
    Mad Sweeney

    I had an extremely disturbing thought this morning. Here's the story (or "experience" for JW readers):

    All week I had been waiting for pay day. The reason is that I had planned on buying a new photo printer for my computer. I had worked out my budget and after taking into account our dinner, I had just enough extra for the printer. I was excited about going to the store after work and picking the printer up, then taking my family for dinner.

    But due to some things that came up at work, and an 'emergency' run to the pet store for dog food, I was going to be late for dinner if I went to the store to pick up the printer. So I decided to forego the printer until today, and just bring the dog food home to pick up my family for dinner.

    Then, as my family was preparing to leave home for the restaurant, we discovered that my wife's car wouldn't start. Turned over a few times and then click, click, click.

    So, rather than go get a new printer this morning it was off to the store to get a new battery.

    Here's where the primitive JW thinking kicked in. On my way home from getting the battery I thought to myself, "Thank Jehovah for making me too late last night to buy the printer. I wouldn't have had enough money for the battery, otherwise."

    Then I thought to myself, "Dammit you idiot. It was just a coincidence. Whatever god there is doesn't care about your printer or car battery!"

    I haven't had a JW thought like that in a long time and look forward to the day when I can look back and not even remember the last time. How annoying!

    Any of you still have residual things like that pop into your head from time to time?

  • aquagirl

    Yeah I do.I wouldnt worry about it.We were brought up like that,its just a habit.Im sure that you are not a prisoner to the Dub stuff anymore.if I were there,Id biy you a batter AND a printer!!!!!

  • aquagirl

    buy...not biy...lol

  • acolytes

    Hi Mad Sweeney

    Those thoughts are not exclusive JW thoughts but the thoughts off all all church members regardless of denomination.


  • hoser

    JW mentality keeps people poor. if none of us had ever been dubs we'd have worked the OT or got the education we needed and then money wouldn't be such an issue.

  • VIII


    No, you are certainly not alone. No matter how long you're out, it still comes back. Mine mainly from hearing from relatives and Mom how the system is ending and how "I'll pray to Jehovah for you" no matter how small the issue.

    I have had some thoughts this week, mainly from my Mom's non-stop barrage of phone calls and a thought of praying to Jehovah popped in momentarily. Just momentarily.

    I've been out a long time, so, no, I don't think it will go away for a long time, unfortunately. Little things set it off for me.

  • VIII

    BTW, I'd ignore hoser, this is not about money. It's about thought control and cult exiting.

  • jay88

    It would have been good to give credit to yourself for having the foreknowledge to budget/save, even if it's use wasn't on what you intended.

    It happens that way for me with prayer bout twice a year.(not a conventional person who prays)

  • Mad Sweeney
    Mad Sweeney

    I get so annoyed when people credit/blame god for things no rational god would have anything to do with. The fact that I did it myself was really disturbing for a few minutes.

    I get the prayer thing, too, at times. Less and less as time goes on but it still shows its head now and then.

    Superstition. Blech.

  • Found Sheep
    Found Sheep

    i do a lot. One thing I have done to try and break the chain is buy a loto ticket once a week. May sound strange but the first time I did I was shaking. It took a few weeks to not feel guilty and look over my shoulder. Once a week I do it to keep reminding myself I am not one. Of course the new elder book said some for entertainment reasons is not t JC offence. It still helps and now I do it with confidence. Like I have the right.

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