Do elders who get disfellowshipped blab about judicial committee's they served on?

by donnye 9 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • donnye

    Has anyone ever worried about confessing something to the elders, only to find that they spend the next 25 years worrying that if those elders in 'the know' leave the organisation or get disfellowshipped, maybe they couldn't care less about making your misdemeanor public knowledge. i.e. "if I'm going down, I'll take everyone I can with me".

    I still worry about this scenario, and even though two of the elders in my case have died of old age, I will only feel really relieved once the last one does.

    Maybe current elders blab about the congregation members too. I sincerely hope they would be too scared to do this in case there is an official complaint made against them for defamation of character and breaking a fellow believers confidence.

  • cantleave

    Once I faded I spilled all the goss to nugget-bad man that I am. She didn't have a clue about what went on, because I never said anything whilst serving.

  • designs

    donnye- Elders who are active Elders blab about what goes on in Committee meetings, it is a terrible problem. As for DF'd and Faded Elders I am sure it is mixed about who spill intimate details and who talk about a 'situation' without naming names.

  • blondie

    I have been told by numerous elders that it is permissible to share "stories" as long as you leave the names out, but we know that the details are often enough to identify the individual or family. It is pure "entertainment" or gossip, never to help the person.

  • designs


    When I was in and an Elder and went to dinner parties and other social gatherings I would hear other Elders talk in detail about a brother or sister and laugh outloud along with their wives at the foibles of people.

    I stepped down in 1989, I had lost all respect for the position and the institution that ran them.

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    Non-elders, former MS's, former Bethelites, former CO's, former missionaries - all these blab about what was wrong/perverse in the organization. Why would we assume that former elders would keep their mouth shut when df'd?

    Of course they won't keep their mouths shut.

    On the other hand, one 'case' of animal lust or petty theft is pretty much like any other, and unless you killed someone, most people on the outside [those on the inside aren't going to hear it if the elder is df'd] would consider it just more proof that these ingrates are busy-bodies seeking to peer into matters to which they have no right.


  • aSphereisnotaCircle

    Some elders can keep theirs mouths shut and some cannot. It has little to do with wether they leave the troof or not.

    In my old hall (and the surrounding halls) gossip was rampant. If someone was DFd, everyone knew the reasons why, the juicier the info, the faster it spread.

    If the elders in your JC have kept confidentiality so far, I wouldn't worry about it

  • LongHairGal


    You raise a very good point and I have asked myself that question. Are your secrets and confidences safe with JW elders and ministerial servants in the event they no longer continue in their position or even in the religion? We all know in the Catholic Church people confess their 'sins' to the priest in a confessional. Generally speaking though, a priest is a priest for life and any gossipping he does is to other priests so it is 'contained'.

    However, in the JW religion a very different situation exists. For one thing, any Tom, Dick and Harry can become an elder or ministerial servant. They can be removed or step down. They have no professional training and feel NO sense of professional 'duty' the way an attorney or a physician would have towards a client or patient. They can go out for drinks and blab something they should not and in addition are notorious for telling their wives things. Then these same wives get on the phone and tell all their busybody friends, many of whom are pioneers. They do the most gossipping about everybody in their car groups. Since they have the mentality that it is one big club (but a nasty club) their consciences DON'T bother them when they blab personal business.

    So, what was initially said in confidence to one person, can become known to dozens of people who can tell others and so on.

    In the JW world you have NO expectation of privacy, no matter what they claim. Your secrets are at the mercy of such men's discretion, assuming they even have any.

  • SlipnSlide

    I know of elders who blab about judicial cases that are/were currently occuring. Most of the elders that I know love to gossip. I'm not just talking about in one congregation, but several. The bad thing about it was most of the "wives" knew about it too. Some of the wives knew the confidential nature of the situation, but would go to great lengths to snoop in their husband's briefcase or file cabinets. How do I know? I saw it with my own eyes. That's why you'll never catch me in the back room ever, and I will never tell ANY of MY personal business.

  • VIII

    Think about all the stuff that has been *blabbed* about on this board by the Ex-Elders. If they are willing to spill the beans on their fellow Ex-JWs, why not spill the beans to their spouse on a DFd JW?

    My point? Yeah, they talk. My Mom tells me stuff, now. She will hear a story about Brother or Sister X and can't wait to tell me what they did. How does she know? She heard it from Sister Y who is married to the Elder who held the JC.

    They should all be Sued.

    Think about it. Privacy. Reputation. Etc. What happened to confidentiality? They are allowed to marry people and advise them like a minister, they should be held to the same standard.

    BTW, OP, what did you do? Can't be that bad. Do tell. We are all friends here.

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