This was sent to me by a good friend who knows the 'situation'. If you know anything about me, read between the lines - if not, I hope you'll enjoy it anyway!
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Nic' the Dragon Master
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Nic' the Dragon Master was an official in the King's court. He had a long-standing obsession-to nuzzle the beautiful Queen's voluptuous breasts. But he knew the penalty for this would be death.
One day he revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio, who was the King's chief physician.
Horatio said "I can arrange it, but I will need 1,000 gold coins to pay bribes".
Nic' the Dragon Master readily agreed.
The next day Horatio made up a batch of itching lotion and poured a little of it into the Queen's brassiere while she was taking a bath. Soon after she dressed the itching commenced and grew in intensity.
Upon being called to the royal chambers, Horatio told the King that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown such a saliva was only to be found in Nic' the Dragon Master's mouth.
The King summoned Nic' the Dragon Master and issued the imperial command. Nic' the Dragon Master slipped the antidote to the itching lotion, which Horatio had given him, into his mouth and for the next four hours worked passionately on the Queen's magnificent breasts.
Satisfied, he returned to his chamber and found Horatio demanding payment. However, with his obsession now satisfied, he refused to pay Horatio anything and shooed him away, knowing that Horatio could never report this matter to the King.
The next day, Horatio slipped a massive dose of the same itching lotion into the King's loincloth. And Nic' the Dragon Master was again summoned to the Kings quarters.
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Nic'