Keeping my shields up is wearing me out

by Evidently Apostate 9 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Evidently Apostate
    Evidently Apostate

    Sometimes i find myself carefully monitering a persons body language, whatching for instinctive reactions listening carefully to thier words. just JWs and some extended family, and almost anyone i do business with. not out of fear but to find out if there is a selfish motive or agenda. i hope this is just part of the process and i am walking the beginning stages of my freedom.

    or i could just be paranoid.

  • Lillith26

    It's good to stay aware of whats happening around you... especially with people.. most of what we say is in our body language, thats how I can tell if my kids are lying to me or not LOL

    All my boys (husband included), smile at one side of their mouths when they are lying, and they look away and dont make eye contact when they're spinning me a story......

    Dont get too paranoid, but dont get to complacent either.....

  • leavingwt

    Sounds normal for where you're at in this journey.

    It will get easier.

  • mamalove

    Maybe you are just observant?

  • flipper

    EVIDENTLY APOSTATE- It's good to be careful in observing people ANYWAY - whether or not we were witnesses or not. There are people who will take advantage of us in the world , but also many great people also who can become friends. It takes following your intuition and learning about seeing people authentically in reality instead of through the JW cult eyes. You'll do fine trusting your instincts

  • nancy drew
    nancy drew

    "just because your paranoid doesn't mean their not out to get you"

    We do live in a scam world and you do have to be careful but you have to go on. One thing I've learned about myself over the years is I jumped too quickly for my dreams and I wasn't careful and didn't investigate as carefully as I should have. Now I hold back before I jump. Just because something seems reasonable doesn't make it so you can see all kinds of connections and than see different ones so just step back take a moment and think before any commitnents.

    keep learning and view your life as an educational experience full of good choices and mistakes. don't get worn out take personel breaks from life when you need them.

  • Mad Sweeney
    Mad Sweeney

    Paranoia is a protection mechanism. As leaving said, at this stage it's normal and it is probably healthy, as long as you don't let it turn you into a loon (which has been known to happen).

  • RubaDub

    I used to have the same concerns and anxiety.

    However, I resolved my issue by installing one-way glass in my living room and microphones inside the ceiling fan and end table.

    Rub a Dub

  • sd-7

    Well, you should consider upgrading your shield module. A new set of deflector coils, perhaps modulating your shield frequency--especially useful when engaging the Borg--might help. Sometimes coming about to either port or starboard can present your better-defended flank to your opponent, and presenting your underside makes the bridge harder to target, but that's up to your judgment. And since trellium doesn't negatively affect human physiology, consider armoring your hull with it.

    If all else fails, perhaps installing a warp reactor capable of Warp 11 would best enable you to outrun just about anything out there. At least I've not seen anything capable of getting up to Warp 11 in my travels.


  • VoidEater

    ^ SD-7: Thanks!

    It is hyper-vigilance.

    This is useful in new situations, with new people, or with people you do not trust.

    It is exhausting when done 24/7.

    Hyper-vigilance can be a symptom of PTSD, which might be helped with professional counseling. It should ease up over time.

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