Did you ever have an event that was a smack in the face to how long you've been out?

by feenx 9 Replies latest jw friends

  • feenx

    I got DF'd in 2002, about 6-8 weeks after getting my dog. For quite a while, with that initial severing of anything/anyone I'd ever known growing up, she wa the only thing I had.

    Since then, like many, I pulled myself up out of the muck the org leaves us in and built a life for myself.

    Yesterday I had to put my dog to sleep. It was sudden, unexpected. And it's been a HUGE smack in the face...of just how much life has changed, I've changed, since then.

    I think growing up seeing SOOOOO many people struggle and one way or another always seem to filter back to "the truth", part of me has been waiting for the other shoe to drop. Something to happen, externally or internally, that would put me back.

    Her death, at least in this first day after, has created the opposite feeling in me. A feeling of.....WOW....look how far we've come, how long it's been. And how FAR we've come. The timing of her departure now instead feels like more fuel for my fire to continue building the life I've worked so hard on thus far.

    I don't even know if any of this is making any sense or if I'm just rambling. If so, my apologies.

    Anyway....has anyone else ever had that moment where you realized just far you'd come, and that while it's a moment of satisfaction that you made it out, and that now you're just getting warmed up essentially?

  • Newborn

    Thanks for sharing this. I'm sorry for your loss...

    I feel grateful every day that I'm out.

    I haven't, so far, had a special moment like you...it may come though. I've only been out since 2008.

    I look forward to celebrate Christmas for the 3rd time

    Happy Holidays to you!


  • Meeting Junkie No More
    Meeting Junkie No More

    Thanks for sharing that poignant story, feenx.

    She was the only thing I had

    I really think pets are God's ultimate gift to us, in the here and now...they're about the only reason I sometimes still believe in a Supreme Being that cares.

    Like Newborn, this will be my 3rd Christmas too; only this year I have no trouble buying wrapping paper with Santas on it, or snowflakes, or reindeer or angels. For the first two years, couldn't have a tree, couldn't wrap in Christmassy paper because it just 'felt' wrong; now, I'm thinking why would I want to use any other paper other than what has Christmas stuff on it? Wouldn't make sense. Christmas is Christmas and I don't want to miss a minute of it...so in that sense, feenx, I think I have made a move eons away from the WT and in an actually really short time. How they can manage to demonize something so magical, especially for children, is beyond the pale.

    Anyhow, I just found out that there's less than 100 sleeps to Earth Hour, another thing I really enjoy celebrating. Life is about celebration! That's been my aha moment in knowing the WT has no more hold on me - I can celebrate whatever I want to. I no longer care about their man-made prohibitions.

  • jookbeard

    my last meeting was the memorial of 1993 but I hit rock bottom 1994, luckily an approaching divorce,career change and new place all came in 1995 and 1994 was a distant memory but the 1994 World Cup in the USA stuck in my mind as an event and it was a boiling hot summer.

  • ziddina

    Deepest condolences on the loss of your loving companion...

    It is interesting that her lifespan has defined your freedom from the Watchtower Society...

    Congratulations on your freedom!! And may you continue to grow in freedom from the Watchtower Society...

    A suggestion - when I lose a pet, the only thing that pulls me out of the sadness is to rescue another animal...

    Somewhere out there, there's another little - or not-so-little - doggie that desperately needs you...

    Hope you two meet up soon...


  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    First - sorry for your loss. I hope you visit the humane shelter and give one of those dogs a chance to fill that empty spot in your heart.

    And - yes. All the time. I find myself engaged in a political discussion, or happen to take note of a new ornament my grandkids have put on the Christmas tree, or find myself reading some philosophical position that I would have rejected outright as a Jw. Or a million other events - normal to most people - are becoming normal to me too. Sometimes out the blue it strikes me that if I went back in time 7 years, and looked at myself, I would not recognize that guy.

    Ain't freedom great, no matter the markers we discover that defines it?


  • jamiebowers

    So sorry for your loss. And I know exactly what you're talking about. My moment was on September 11th, after being out for 13 years. As we were watching events unfolding on television, I told my husband that the jws always said Armageddon was on its way. My husband said, "Well, if we're going down, at least we're going down together." Although I knew there was something wrong with the organzation, I didn't know it was a cult. But I realized that ther was no longer a reason to fear Armageddon.

  • factfinder

    I'm very sorry for the loss of your beloved puppy. Our dogs are part of our family and we've also lost quite a few of our beloved pets. I'm sorry your dog had to be put to sleep.

  • Broken Promises
    Broken Promises

    I think when I went to my father's JW funeral, held in a Kingdom Hall and surrounded by Witnesses, I realised just how far from the borg I had gone. The funeral talk did nothing for me. The witnesses themselves all seemed like zombies.

    For me, the more meaningful part of the day was the actual burial service, where we played a song by one of my father's favourite singers.

    My condolences on the death of your canine friend.

  • cantleave

    Sorry for your loss.

Share this