Stories thread! (page 2)

FifthOfNovember

I was just thinking about a few things:

1) How much the elders are like the gestapo. The majority of the information given to them is from regular members because they're trained to tell the elders everything. People will even do their own snooping to find things out and tell the elders. Once, someone went through my computer files, browser history, and google searches. Another time, I went to an amusement park with a "worldly" person and, me being the naive person I was, told a JW "friend." My next Bible Study was about bad association, and the conductor told me that my "friend" told him everything.

2) Sometimes when referring to the United States I will say "we." And my JW "friend" will reply, "I don't know who this 'we' is."

FifthOfNovember

Just remembered a good one! I forget when this happened specifically, but sometime earlier this year I was out in service. I forgot to shave that morning and the elder I was with drove me to my home and told me I should shave!

VampireDCLXV

Here's a bit of a twisted one...

When I was about 9 and my sister was 7 we were both sent to a door by ourselves and a middle aged lady answered. I was halfway through my standard magazine presentation when the lady screamed at us and said: "SHOVE THOSE MAGAZINES UP YOUR BUM AND DON'T EVER COME BACK HERE AGAIN!"
What a terrible thing to say to a couple of cute little kids! As we were leaving my sister burst into tears and for some bizarre reason I just started laughing! A nervous reaction I suppose. I'm sure everyone up and down the street heard the yelling...

V665 V665

FifthOfNovember

Yikes, I've never actually had anyone scream at me.

A year or two ago I was out in service and we stopped the car in front of a house and an elder in the car said it was the house of the witch. I went to the door with him (he spoke), expecting things to start floating and shaking, but she answered the door and was nice and took the magazines. Now when I look back on it I feel ridiculous for thinking that haha.

3Mozzies

Great thread 5thNov

Once I was witnessing and the householder asked me if I have read that magazine (which I was offering) I went red and said 'no'.

I hardly read the magazines, so bloody boring.

3Mozzies

FifthOfNovember

Ha, I never read them either. If I read them it would only be when I was sitting in the car while someone was on a long study, trying to pass the time. And I would only read the Awake because the Watchtower would bore me to tears. I'm glad nobody ever asked me if I read them.

FifthOfNovember

When I was smaller (10 or so) I had pizza (two slices) for breakfast. I was running late for the meeting so my mom (non-JW) drove me there and dropped me off. On the way I felt a little weird but didn't think anything of it. Anyway, I get to the KH, sit down with the person studying with me (who was sitting in the back, luckily) and payed attention for about 15 minutes. Then I started to feel like I was going to vomit. I get up, walk a few steps, then run, to the bathroom. Immediately after opening the bathroom door I puke pizza EVERYWHERE.

I started panicking then realized I had to puke some more. I try walking towards the stall and SLIP IN MY OWN PUKE! I look back before I land on my back in all this vomit and find one spot where there was no puke. And some how I manage to catch myself before covering myself in vomit. I then proceeded to go to the toilet and puke two more times.

At this point, I didn't have to puke anymore. I then looked down at the mess I created. It was ALL OVER the floor, garbage can, and splashed up the walls a few inches. I was freaking out. I tried to get some paper towels and clean it up and realized there was no point. Then, while I was standing there feeling hopeless, someone visiting our hall tried to open the door! I blocked it with my foot and said, "Get _______ (my study conductor)", he saw the orange and chunky pizza vomit all over and his eyes got huge and said "Oh!"

Soon, the guy I was studying with came to the bathroom and saw it. He looked so depressed at first because he knew he'd be the one cleaning it up. Then his wife drove me home. I got home, told my mom the story and she just laughed her ass off.

3Mozzies

Hahahaha That was a great/funny experience 5thNov!

They should relay that at the DC.

I enjoyed a good vomit once at the KH, but I had time to aim and get it in the bowl, no mess. This was when I just started going. Was my body telling me something about the crap I was listening too? I should of listened.

3Mozzies

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