My husband's first exposure to being shunned by family ......

by troubled mind 18 Replies latest jw experiences

  • smoresz
    smoresz

    I've never understood why people don't get shunning... Thats what they are taught to do, thats what we were taught to do. Much like a loan you sign for, if you gave a verbal agreement to the JW practises why is surprising if you break there agreement that you are shunned. If i break the rules on this forum I can get kicked out right in a sense shunned by its members. No big surprise to me

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    That reminds me of something a local elder had said under the subject of the sheeples needing to get along together and be loving to one another all the time. He said, "the silent treatment is a form of aggression." Funny. He thinks DFing is the "right thing to do". It's amazing the mental gymnastics required by cults.

  • HappyDad
    HappyDad

    It's a shame that thing like this have to happen. Guess I'm one of the lucky ones with no direct family still in! In the past ten years, I've only run into two JW's that I used to be associated with and they were very nice even though I don't bother with the "truf" any more. I'm sure that they don't know that I am a complete apostate. lol

    I have one JW brother-in-law who lives in North Carolina that was always friendly with me in spite of my fade, but for about 5 years now he doesn't even acknowledge me. I kind of miss him and his family. He had a heart attack two months ago and I sent him a very nice card. Never heard anything from him!

    Oh well.....at least I have my XJW daughter and she loves me to no end! That gives me smiles and happiness. Hence my name..................

    HappyDad

  • flipper
    flipper

    TROUBLED MIND- I'm sorry your husband is going through this abhorrent, barbaric , unacceptable treatment by mind controlled witnesses. I have gone through similar experiences myself before from JW relatives. I have your phone number I believe in my little black book of JWN member numbers. Perhaps your hubby and I can talk . Give him our love & support, Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • yellow
    yellow

    For people who profess love their shunning practices sure invoke hatred. As a former member I too was shunned majestically by a dub today. She sat in the seat in front of me on the bus, when the seat in front of her became vacant she promptly marched onto that one. I guess my horns must have been showing!! What hurts is she would come to my house, eat my food, I`ve done absolutely nothing to her yet she feels justified in doling out such horrible treatment.

  • mamalove
    mamalove

    That is a shame. I am so sorry you are dealing with that....I have yet to be publicly shunned. But I grew up with that uncomfortable feeling a lot because of my dad being DFd. Very humliating and maddening!

  • SweetBabyCheezits
    SweetBabyCheezits

    I feel your mate's pain, TM, and yours, too, but since it's fresh to him, I relate even more so. It's admirable and respectable that you've come so far that you can just let it slide. Seeing family shunning family is heartbreaking. (And like Palm said, it's not natural.)

    TM, is he on JWN? Do you think he'd join?

  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    I read him stuff from here all the time ,but as far as I know he has not joined .

    I think it would do him a world of good though !

    Just a few months ago he was still under the impression that the Elders still cared for us ,and their sheparding call was because they really wanted to help me ........

  • life is to short
    life is to short

    Shunning can be so different. When I first stopped going to meetings I was at a Starbucks waiting for my husband and an elder who is in his mid 80's was going to the liquor store next door. I did not see him at first nor did he me. Then we locked eyes, the poor man who can hardly walk turned and sort of ran away back to his car. I made no move to go up to him he was really not that close to me, I was not DF'd nothing I had just missed meetings for barley a month at the time yet that was his response to me.

    It just made me really sad. How stupid it all was. Since then I have been shunned and not shunned and who knows what will happen. I quit going because of the child molesters in the hall. I was very active and I stopped going on a dime. I know it shocked a ton of the "friends" and it got out why I stopped going. Which is good. Just still very sad.

    LITS

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