the guilt borne by former Jehovah's Witnesses

by Nickolas 15 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  Nickolas

  I have been noticing in various threads that many former Jehovah's Witnesses in here feel a burden of guilt about having been a Jehovah's Witness. Mostly talk about how terrible they feel for having imposed WTBTS beliefs and strictures on people, especially on people they love. I am beginning to believe that this is a key trigger for people when they finally get up to the point where they feel they must leave the Society. But I am also wondering if this isn't a chicken and egg situation. Is it the guilt of making people they love unhappy that prompts people to leave or does a dawning realisation what the WTBTS really is have to happen first?

  On the guilt bit, though, you folks should relax. We're just all happy you're out. That's all that matters.
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  Ding

  If you regret what you've done, ask for forgiveness, do whatever you can to correct matters, and move forward with your life.

  Don't waste the present and the future beating yourself over something you can't change.
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  Nickolas

  Couldn't agree with you more, Ding. Do you have an opinion on the question? Is it the guilt of making people they love unhappy that prompts people to leave the Society or is it a dawning realisation that the Society misrepresents itself?
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  Ding

  << Is it the guilt of making people they love unhappy that prompts people to leave or does a dawning realisation what the WTBTS really is have to happen first? >>

  In my opinion, the realization that the WTS isn't what it claims to be has to come first.

  As long as a JW believes the WTBTS is God's organization, they will shun their own DFd or DAd friends and family even though that makes them VERY unhappy.

  They will think what they are doing is the epitome of love.
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  Found Sheep

  Can't speak for anyone but me. It was more the realization that the society misrepresents itself
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  Billen76

  As for me, I just kept feeling less and less proud of what I was participating in.

  I had a discussion about the nazi era in Germany, where my "opponent" in the discussion claimed, that the ordinairy german did not know anything about what was going on. I objected, saying that the problem was not totally ignorance, but rather that the german people havee been brainwashed by constant propaganda, to accept the nazi policies of KZ-camps and the like. I got angry saying, that the ordinairy german would of course know, that the jewish neighbours and friends were just disappearing, their shops wrecked and themselves humiliated in public. They maybe did not know eveything that was going on, but they saw enough to be able to react. They didn't, because they were blinded.

  I guess that argument just plaqued my thoughts. I started to count how many I once knew, that had been DF's through time. I got the count to 35!! I started to think more seriously about what I was actually participating in then.

  Besides, I really never thought my life as the paradise they kept telling me it was....and the promissed blessings of being a long time never seemed to be fullfilled. On the contrary: the most loyal pioneers allways seemed to suffer sadness and depression. Nice depressed pioners.

  What prompted me to finally leave, was my littlebrother suicide. By that time I simply could not look myself in the mirror. I thought, I may not be able to change what's done, but I can stop participating and condoning practices I thought wrong.

  I started to discuss my feelings and view on things in a danish forum about religion and found out, that those thoughts of mine, that had been ridiculed inside JW, was recognized, understood and agreed upon by many others. It was NOT just me who was weird and out-of-line. Many others have thought the same, and my perception of the christian message in NT I found out was totally in line with the "normal" christian community....in Denmark.

  Much to tell, but that is pretty much the way the realization happened to me.
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  Ding

  So sorry to learn about your brother's suicide.
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  Billen76

  Concerning the burden of guilt:

  Much of this I feel comes from staying too long, while being aware. Also, we are taught to be harsh on ourselves in the jw society. We all need to get rid of the fears, that we all have or have had. It goes deeper than we sometimes think and affects our confidence in ourselves..
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  Honesty

  I am glad that I was a Jehovah's Witness because I now know what it is like to be normal and not under the control of 9 diaper wearing old bastards who have cold hearts and dark minds.
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  GrandmaJones

  It was the realization that this is not God's organization and his channel of communication. Then I looked at doctrine, then I felt guilty over those I brought in. Most will never get out. I see now how it can ruin lives.