apparently god tivo'd the first developments in Eden

by booby 10 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • booby
    booby

    http://www.jw.org/index.html?option=QrYQCsVrGZNT

    Using the above link you can read on page 14 ( THE WATCHTOWER ? JANUARY 1, 2011 page 14 ) second column second paragraph how god apparently used Tivo so as not to spoil the end of the "game".

  • ClassickConcept
    ClassickConcept

    Lmao they r tryin to modernize jehovah for the younger internet aged rank and file

  • leavingwt
    leavingwt

    Yet, the story STILL involves a talking animal and a naked woman.

  • Leolaia
    Leolaia

    Ohhh there's the word "evidently" again.

  • sabastious
    sabastious
    Yet, the story STILL involves a talking animal and a naked woman.

    I don't mind the naked woman so much.

    -Sab

  • Leolaia
    Leolaia

    The argumentation used in these articles is embarassing.

    The account even names the lands through which those rivers flowed and specifies the natural resources well-known in the area. To the people of ancient Israel, the original audience who read this record, these details were informative. Do myths and fairy tales work that way? Or do they tend to omit specifics that could readily be verified or denied? “Once upon a time in a faraway land” is a way to begin a fairy tale. History, though, tends to include relevant details, as the Eden account does.

    The writer is thinking of modern fairytales, not the kind of legendary tales told in the ANE.

    Two words: Plato. Atlantis.

    For a close Sumerian parallel, Dilmun was both the Mesootamian equivalent of "Eden" and it was a real place: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dilmun

    Moreover there is an even closer parallel from Ugaritic Canaanite texts, where the god El has his abode at the headwaters of the Euphrates river.

  • booby
    booby

    I know this goes off the topic on my own thread but EVIDENTLY adam and eve changed over the years in their looks. Page 15

  • therevealer
    therevealer

    "Once upon a time in a faraway tower in Brooklyn" or "Once upon a time in a faraway lounge in Patterson" are other ways to start a fairytale

  • Leolaia
    Leolaia

    They sure love that word:

    The events in the garden of Eden account unfolded some 6,000 years ago. They were put into writing, evidently by Moses, who may have made use of oral accounts or perhaps even preexisting documents. (p. 5)

    The Deluge, an act of God, evidently wiped out all traces of the garden of Eden itself. (p. 6)

    Evidently Moses was also the inspired writer of the book of Job. (p. 8)

    Evidently, Satan has long been driven by jealousy over the worship that goes to Jehovah God. (p. 12)

    Who could criticize him if he chose to watch the entire [tivo'd] match from the beginning? Similarly, the Creator evidently chose not to see how things would turn out. (p. 14)

    They also love to argue by asking questions:

    Is it possible that mankind’s “collective consciousness” is imprinted with the memory of something real? (p. 4)

    Now, is it possible for such landmarks as rivers to change over the course of dozens of centuries? (p. 5)

    Do myths and fairy tales work that way? Or do they tend to omit specifics? (p. 6)

    Should it surprise us that God is far better at creating than we are? (p. 7)

    As to creating the woman by using a rib from the man, where is the difficulty in that? (p. 7)

    Furthermore, modern geneticists have acknowledged that all humans likely descended from only one male and one female. Really, then, is the Genesis account far-fetched? (p. 7)

    Even better, read these questions, especially the last one, in Cartman's voice (as if Cartman were making a presentation in Mr. Garrison's class).

  • sir82
    sir82
    Furthermore, modern geneticists have acknowledged that all humans likely descended from only one male and one female. Really, then, is the Genesis account far-fetched?

    I love this one.

    <Ahem>

    Yes, it is extraordinarily far-fetched to believe that all humans descended from one male and one female who lived only 6000 years ago!

    Actually, I have to take that back...

    It is even more mind-bogglingly, stupidly far-fetched to believe that all humans descended from one male and one female who lived only 4400 years ago (given the WT chronlogy of Noah's flood).

    As I am wont to say....

    Idiots.

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit