xelder
It's funny of the 3 elders I think one just thought he was doing the right thing, I think one got outvoted and one was determined to get me out. The first did not know me personally at all. In the few years in the cong I don't think we ever had a conversation about anything. The one who got outvoted knew my past and knew about the sexual abuse. He knew what it had done to me because at one point he told me his wife had been sexually abused as a child. But I don't think there was anything he could have done to talk the other two out of it. And the last is the one I thought would have supported me the most. He was our book study conductor. We had him and his family to our home many times for a meal. I thought we were friends. Boy was I wrong. About 5 years after I left I thought I might want to go back so I called him and we had a meeting. He was rude, insensitive and just plain mean. This was not the person I knew. I went to a meeting like he suggested. Before the WT study started he announced from the platform that my ex would be reading that day - a last minute substitute he said and so I had to sit there while my ex was up on the platform being Bro. See-how-God-had-blessed-him. And at the end the conductor asked my ex to say the prayer. Talk about rubbing it in my face!
That was it for me. I never went back. I can forgive the ones who thought they were doing the right thing. Hey I didn't know any better either. What I can't forgive was this elders cruelty and meanness.
You have no idea if one of those women are reading this right now. Reading that an elder realizes finally how wrong it all was. Reading a heart-felt apology goes a long long way to healing the wounds. Thank you.
Mandette
I have found peace. I have two daughters that want nothing to do with the Witnesses. Shunning them because of me hurt them a lot but it got them out. And I have 3 grandchildren that I adore and who love me. In spite of health problems life is good - better than I ever expected. My life-long depression lifted after I left the ex and the JWs. Even though I was very busy in school, some semesters taking as many as 11 courses at a time, my stress-related health problems disappeared and I stoppped feeling like I wanted to commit suicide. Haven't felt either in the 25 years since.
That alone made it all worth it although I still wish I had the courage then to just walk out.
