My Story: Short Version

by In 20 Replies latest jw experiences

  • In
    In

    I... well, I need to face this fear that someone will read my story and know who I am and harrass me. There are enough distinctive things about my story that who I am is pretty easy to identify, if you know me.

    So, here goes.

    I was raised as a Witness. My Dad was abusive. My mother was horribly depressed. I was a nerdy kid who never really connected with other Witness kids. Being friends with "worldly" people meant Jehovah would hate me, so....

    I was baptized at age 14.

    My parents separated a year later because my father was getting progressively worse. They divorced a couple years later. I haven't seen my Dad in almost ten years, since the day he was arrested. He was never disfellowshipped. He was never reproved. Nothing. And I started asking a lot of questions.

    I went to college and got my four year degree. I studied abroad in communist China, with no religion and no meetings for over a year. It was bliss. That's when I really began to think clearly. Then I was reading the scripture by itself, without someone speaking in my ear and drowning out the other thoughts. I began to feel happy again.

    Now I'm working on a master's degree. And I'm leaving the organization. Over the last two years, I have done so much research, often independent of "apostate" literature, and found so many things. The tipping point for me was all the false prophecy.

    My family, until now, was the only one whose kids hadn't been disfellowshipped. Now, of course, I'll soon be (don't know when), and for apostasy of all things. I didn't leave for a long time because I didn't want to put my family through more pain, especially with that messy divorce so recent and some of its wounds barely scabbed over. But doing something for other people when you really hate it is hard. It's hard to do it for years on end. I'd say I've been "in" against my personal will for at least five years now.

    It's got to end. I have always said my 20s would belong to me.

    Now they do.

    ....

    And that's the short of it. There's a lot of detail I'm just not putting out here.

    I had practice making friends in China, and I'm slowly acclimating here. I've spent most of my life alone; you know, surrounded by superficial friends. I'm very cautious as a result. So far in my life it's the people I've trusted most who have betrayed me or hurt me or left me.

    That's hard to overcome. It's a journey. I still believe in God; with his help and strength, things will keep getting better.

    I'm happier every day.

  • Sam Whiskey
    Sam Whiskey

    Welcome to the board In! You'll find a lot of non judgemental friends here...

  • Ding
    Ding

    Welcome!

    Sorry to hear about all that you and your family have been through but glad that you are gaining a real life outside the organization.

  • Scarred for life
    Scarred for life

    Welcome to the board!

  • cameo-d
    cameo-d

    I'd say I've been "in" against my personal will for at least five years now.

    Many things have been compelled upon us all. A lot of people never recognize it's forced behavior. Some finally realize that it is, but don't rock the boat. And some, finding even deeper lies and motivation in the deceit cannot bear it any longer. It takes courage to stand up against it. I was never a JW but I was born into a system that attempted to make me a member of a society in which I always innately knew I did not belong. There are always consequences either way. Accepting the lies may appear easier, but what it can do to your conscience becomes the heaviest yoke of all.

    I've spent most of my life alone; you know, surrounded by superficial friends. I'm very cautious as a result.

    I think a lot of people here can identify with that. I have certainly had my share of the superficial. But, I am not really so cautious. I am open to new possibilities of sharing friendship. But I can usually tell right away within a short time if someone is insincere. The "reptilian" qualities become very apparent...those who trick you or deceive you in small things; or attempt to get something over on you because they know something you don't (as in a product or service); those who take and never give back or reciprocate; those who show no appreciation of others; always complain; no matter what you do they always want more from you; selfish; no feeling for others; only interested in things that relate to themselves; etc. I am open to friendships...but I am very observant from the outset to determine whether it is worth pursuing. Most of the time...not.

    So far in my life it's the people I've trusted most who have betrayed me or hurt me or left me.

    Yeah, I know how that feels. Especially when it comes from one you never thought it would be.

  • 1Robinella
    1Robinella

    Welcome In.

    Your story although unique is quite similar to many. Continue your education, be happy and make lots of friends. You have just gained many more on this board. We all have see it all, been through it and stronger for it as well. For me, I am so happy to find this site. It's been a blast reading everyone's comments and learning about other people's struggles and accomplishments, although unfortunate it's quit similar to mine. Enjoy reading.

    1Robinella

  • cyberjesus
    cyberjesus

    Welcome, if you can avoid getting Dfd do. The communication between family members is severely truncated and with "friends" completely stops.

  • coffee_black
    coffee_black

    Welcome!

    Coffee

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    Welcome to the forum, In

    Don't feel guilty for causing your family pain. Your parents chose to raise you in a religion with dubious doctrines that treats its non-believing children badly. That was their choice, not yours, and they have to deal with the consequences of that choice and they shouldn't try putting the blame for their pain or bad behaviour on you.

    Enjoy your 20s

    Cheers

    Chris

  • jamiebowers
    jamiebowers

    Welcome! You will find friends here who are true friends. Ater you're df'd or whenever you're not afraid to share your whereabouts, pm me your location, and I'll try to find an ex or exiting jw in your area. I try to keep a network of friends around the world, so no one ever has to feel alone. I use my real name and the same avatar on JWN and Facebook, so look me up. If you happen to live in NE Ohio, pm me NOW, because that's where I'm at.

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit