its sunday, oh joy we are off to church! we leave dressed as we feel like, we grab our overdue bills! and we are off, upon arriveing we enter the all you can eat buffet we pig out for an hour or so the waiteress comes to collect our dirty dishes, and our overdue bills in a few minutes she returns with the receipt, and a doggie bag full of cash. we than go to church itself after we sing our praises about our wonderfull god who pays our bills and gives us cash, the pastor comes out he hands out free health provider vouchers just incase some one dosent feel good , then they pass the plate on it are the new feel good wafers[harmless of course] even the kids can eat them! then the preacher takes the stage and talks breifly about the wonderous paradise we live in! and reminds us of the day when we woke up went out side and discovered while we slept god had brought the new world to us. soon the church service is over and we go to get in our cars we find them polished and full of gas! and we go home to watch our new explore the universe boxes[kinda like a tv] but if you want to go their you just touch the screen!
perfectly safe you come back automatically in a little while. yes wonderfull church! no one even thinks about the devil or the day god took him and all jehovahs wittnesses to a world just for them jehovah turned the devil and the demons into talkative householders each day the wittnesses come with new promises about paradise and studies the old bible.
the perfect church!
by arimatthewdavies 6 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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arimatthewdavies
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OnTheWayOut
You forgot to put a drink-holder on the universe box.
Someone would screw this up and introduce some kind of doctrine that makes it a chore to attend.
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Deputy Dog
Like someone ounce told me. If you ever find the perfect church, don't join, you'll ruin it.
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wobble
D'Dawg , that sounds a bit like the Groucho Marx line "I would not want to belong to the kind of club that would have me as a member"
I love the sound of that perfect Church, I am sure it would have beer ,free, on tap.
We always used to joke that beer on tap would be a great improvement to the Kingdoom Hall, perhaps some would stay longer after the meetings.
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funnyface
If you ever find the perfect church, don't join, you'll ruin it.
Deputy Dog!!! Must I remind you who you are????
I have met you at PA ( Grace) You are PART of that
perfect church. One of the stones.built on the foundation> CHRIST
THE BODY OF CHRIST!!!
.Although HE is the Head of the body
when I met you ,you were being the tongue,eyes,of that body
you helped me to take off the blinders....that had blinded me.WT
Mouthy -
Deputy Dog
Grace
Thanks for the kind words.
The object of our worship is perfect.
I hear you! But, this side of glory, sin and those imperfections need God's grace.
Remember, Christ took those blinders off, I could never do that.
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funnyface
but you help HIM ....He used you THAT day