elder commits suicide.....need advice

by Nat 19 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • QUEENIE
    QUEENIE

    HOW so awful for all concerned MY SYMPATHIES...MY brother Larry now decd in 1990 several years before attempted with a gun to his forhead..IT WAS AWFUL to say the least and since the entire family is dysfunctional / and he disfellowhiped there was NO way I was going to let my MOM GO it alone..try picking up his apartment of personal belongings--all that blood--I still remember (early 80s)he passed away 1990 I have learned a lot--GOD come first then I am my own BEST friend / my daughter LISA and MAMIE kitty come next and then of course the rest of you..I let my HEART rule my head most of the time then my head comes next BUT the WT ORG goones can just SIT AND SPIN on their Elders hand book and wrapped in barbwire no less--oh well I am very independent and do as I damned well pleaze as I am free and well over 21 yrs of age..I AM PROUD TO BE A XJW TURNED APOSTATE--they are right MY HEART IS VERY HARD harded torwards any active JW sorry to say--just the way things are--I AM JUST being LINDA LOU KERSEY (QUEENIE aka BADASSMUM/luv ya

  • RedhorseWoman
    RedhorseWoman

    NAT!! *****HUGS***** I've been thinking about you. Haven't seen you on any of the boards for awhile. I'm so sorry that this is the type of thing that brings you back.

    I guess that all you can do is let them know that you are there for them.

  • cellomould
    cellomould

    Nat,

    Please accept my condolences. It is a frightening situation, I am sure.

    I just heard from an old friend that his sister just took her own life. She was a wonderful woman. I do not really know how to help besides listening. Maybe that's all I can do.

    Perhaps we can help each other find ways to encourage our friends.

    Thanks for sharing your feelings,

    cellomould

    "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." Edmund Burke

  • Thomas Poole
    Thomas Poole

    Perhaps at least go to the funeral home location and visit the deceased.

    Take your time there.

    Have quiet moments to yourself.

    Maybe ask yourself what the person would have wanted you to do.

    Ask would it help your conscience to go.

    Don't expect anything from the JW's.

    Thomas

  • LDH
    LDH

    How are you doing,Nat?

    Lisa

  • QUEENIE
    QUEENIE

    NAT -- how goes it honey---I wish I could give you great big mama bear hugs well here is and a mommy kiss on the forehead too..get some worldy therapy while you are at it check out your local community for something...I still see LARRY in ER plugged up to stuff and a little hole in his head..I have an appoinment for ME this coming WED and I can do it so can you sweetheart !!!!

  • Valis
    Valis

    Sorry for your loss. I just wanted to add that JWs will do what they want in reagards the memorialization of the dead. When my grandfather died they had the memorial service at the funeral home, although my grandfather had left the WT many, many, years earlier and wanted nothing to do with the Society. The family never got to get up and say anything. Just a JW elder to talk about the resurrection and his vague rememberance of my favorite. It was my parent's doing, but I have SLOWLY come to realize they were following thier conscience, albeit askew. So, I would say, somewhat like Thomas Poole, if you have the option to have a solemn moment alone with the deceased then do so and call it good. If you intend to go to the Hall for a service don't engage them in debate, and if they are people with any kind of humanity, they won't engage you either. Go, but don't put yourself in the middle of "theocratic" discussion. Its the only way I have ever survived going to the Hall or elsewhere for funerals that JWs surround.

  • BluesBrother
    BluesBrother

    I have just read the entire thread, and I just want to offer my condolances to you all at this terrible time. I can't help thinking of his poor wife too. Coping with such a tragedy would be even worse inside the org because ,after all, its not meant to happen among "Gods people" is it?
    I suspect she was persuaded to have a quick low key cremation. It is not something that they want to be known.
    Had you gone, I would have been interested to know how it was handled. I heard on good authority of an occasion of a suicide and they had a job getting an elder to conduct the funeral .Eventually one practical elder offered , but he took a lot of stick from the others.

  • TR
    TR

    Hi NAT! Glad to see you here. So sorry about the death. I had 2 family members commit suicide. I understand how it feels.

    email me if you want.

    TR

    "Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."
    --Benjamin Franklin, 1759

  • Nat
    Nat

    I've gotten so much feedback and I really appreciate it!

    It's Sat. morning and I'm sitting here chill'in. =;o) I'm not going to the visition. I've recieved alot of info on the situation and I've dedided not to go. I'll probably send a card and a plant.

    I had written a long post earlier and my server disconnected me. Probably a good thing. I was pretty fired up! Don't you hate when that happens though!

    I plan to have a nice and relaxing weekend and I hope that you all do the same! =:o)

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