Loz - Yeah i live in North Yorkshire in the UK!!! When i do my training for my support teaching i have to get into a voluntary placement in a school. It is kinda impossible to do that at the mo with having my little girl at home with me :-( Cant afford to put her in nursery either. So when her free placement comes up next September, i plan on taking the opportunity to learn learn learn and live live live! lol! I cant believe you have lost all your contact with your kids.. that is so sad :(. My mother does not really have much to do with me anymore or my kids as she is still in. She is and always has been soooo unbalanced though, and I think she loves to milk the fact that we dont go anymore so she can use it as an excuse to say she cant have much association with us! Its so wrong! But i never had a strong relationship with my mother, and so i dont feel too much loss there, tho it does hurt sometimes. Everyone needs loving parents.. and its something i have never had. My dad was d'fd. He still continues to do as he pleases with his life, and has not much time for anyone but himself. But he does make more of an effort with his grandkids than he did with us while we were kids! I know in time things will become easier, and if anyone else in the cong/org comes to their senses, i would like to think i would always be here if they needed to talk.
Watersprout - Thank you for your post.. i seem to have cried non stop the last couple of weeks! I felt like i was coping well to start with! My 8 year old daughter got all her friends she grew up with taken from her.. the parents said they could no longer play together. That was one of the hardest things.. but after all the encouragement on here to fill her time with new friends from school, and some after school clubs, she has really been doing well, and after only a month or so, stopped asking after her old friends! It was really hard one day as she asked me if she would never be able to see her friends (one who she grew up with from being born) again... I had to be honest and say i dont know but she has some great friends at school, she buried her head in the sofa and cried :( She is a really sensitive little girl and i thought that it was going to really effect her for such a long time. Im so glad she has been able to move on.. and she seems the happiest she has EVER been, which is good for me as i really worried about her at one time, thinking she did not seem happy enough for a little girl! (thought she was going to take after me, having been brough up in it, i feel i was miserable and had a very unhappy childhood... much to do with my unloving parents). That is good that now your little girl has started school she has excelled! Are you in the UK?
I will continue to pray and will definatly ask to be clothed in love to perhaps get rid of some of the negativity i am feeling and bitterness... thank you again x