by MrFreeze 9 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
What is the policy for disfellowshipped people in your family for when they get sick?
For instance. Let's say your disfellowshipped son/daughter gets seriously sick and needs someone to help take care of this. Is it permissable by the WT to provide the needed assistance or is this looked down upon? I wonder just how far the disfellowshipping/shunning misery really goes. Any insight on this would be greatly appreciated.
They will say it is up to your conscience. No one would say anything to you about it. Basically they say if it's family and it's necessary "business" then it is up to each individual to choose.
That sounds like about how I thought they would view it. Wouldn't it be something if you went to go help your sick child and the elders took you in the back room for it?
One of my friends was DF'd and she moved back to her parent's house for awhile. They had to talk to the elders about it because she's an adult, but they were told it was up to their conscience.
I knew an Elder that allowed his adult df'd daughter back into his home ,and the Elder body gave him so much crap about it he stepped down . She was pregnant and needed financial help .
It seems to me small mid-west congregations have a reputation for being more strict and hard nosed . You will find not every Elder body having the same policy (so much for being UNITED ).
I knew another family that had their df'd son still living at home . The father was counseled for still taking his son fishing and doing regular family stuff with his son . The Dad was not a servant so they didn't really have anything to pressure him with ,but they did give a local needs talk that stressed how to treat df'd relatives . It was mentioned you should not be continuing to act as 'business as usual ' because that would be sending the wrong message to the df'd one ! You know it is suppose to hurt and be painful otherwise why would they want to return to the loving arms of the congregation
True, TM....but on the other hand, who, from a congregation, is actually gonna take the
time to care for someone sick?? I know of several cases, where the df'd person was the
only one will to do this...
so much for tending to the sick and old!!
My son was diagnosed with Cancer a couple of months after he and his Fiance' went on thier own, to the elders and were DF'd. Not wanting to add to our worry, he ignored his symptoms and didn't tell us about them for 3 weeks while he waited on pins and needles for the Elders to get around to making a decision. We nursed him through his surgery and chemo alone, including a stint in the isolation unit...no relatives or friends came to our aid, only evil" worldly" workmates offered any sympathy or help. Regular Pioneer Grandmother, Bethelite Uncle, JW Aunts Uncles and Cousins turned their backs on us and took the word of men they didn't even know, over their own flesh and blood they had known since birth. We realized that if our son didn't make it...we would be alone to bury him and it would be a very lonley occasion indeed. That was the beginning of the end for us as far as JW's and their "loving" arrangements is concerned.
It is up to your conscience. We use the "christian obligation" to still talk to family members who are df'd. We do not advertise our association with them.....don't ask don't tell. I do know a brother who holds a position could be removed if they have and adult df'd child living there. In the case of my family my sibling was going to meetings so the elder body did not give my Dad any grief.
Outright shunning isn't practiced in my family on either side.
The only one who's ever really avoided social interaction with a df'd member is my maternal unit to her maternal unit.
She really waffles back and forth about it, though, according to what is convenient for her based on if she wants something.
The rest of us don't shun. My grandfather was an elder and he and my grandmother never shunned anyone because who would be there for them if they wanted to come back?
My family has been pretty good about it, except for maternal unit not letting us really get to know her side of the family.
It's up to your conscience, but if you do it, you will be hounded mercilessly until you change "your conscience".
