A friend emailed me a list of these HONEST THINGS:
1. When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three
year old
came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the
shower.
She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!" I replied, "Yes,
honey, remember
Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy." "I know," she replied,
"but what is
growing in your butt?"
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2. A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes
later..."Da-ad...." "What?" "I'm thirsty. Can you bring a
drink of
water?" "No. You had your chance. Lights out." Five minutes
later:
"Da-aaaad....." "WHAT?" "I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of
water??" "I
told you NO!" If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!" Five
minutes
later......"Da- aaa-aaaad." "WHAT!" "When you come in to spank
me, can you
bring a drink of water?"
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3. An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into
mischief,
finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?" The
boy thought
it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and
keep
slamming the door until St. Peter says, "For Heaven's sake,
Jimmy, come in
or stay out!"
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4. One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was
tucking her
son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked
with a
tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"
The mother
smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said.
"I have to
sleep in Daddy's room." A long silence was broken at last by
his shaky
little voice: "The big sissy."
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5. It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the
children's
sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One
little girl was
wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the
pastor leaned
over and said, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter
dress?" The
little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on
microphone, "Yes,
and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron."
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6. Finding one of her students making faces at others on the
playground,
Mrs. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly,
the teacher
said, "Bobby, when I was a child, I was told that if I made ugly
faces, it
would freeze and I would stay like that." Bobby looked up and
replied,
"Well, Mrs. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."
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Hope these made your day.
Skipper