Sexual Abuse and the Reduction in the Belief in God

by Lady Lee 65 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    In my last year of university I wrote a paper called Traumatic Child Sexual Abuse, Psychological Death and the Reduction in the Belief in the Power of God. It was a term paper for a class on Death and Dying for a Religion course I took. Not exactly what the prof expected but he agreed it made some excellent points. The paper was doscovered on my web site by the author of a book that was coming out called Recovering from Sexual Abuse, Addictions and Compulsive Behaviors by Knauer. She asked if she could use my paper in her book as a reference for an important point she wanted to make. She had been running a support group for adolescent girls who were victims of sexual abuse. She also asked if she could use the paper in her group. thought this was an important issue to discuss with them. At the beginning of the group she handed out the paper and started to talk about who the abuse had affected their belief in God's ability to help them. Some girls threw the paper on the floor without even looking at it. Others left the room in anger. They didn't want to talk about how God had let them down. betrayed and abandoned them to their abusers.

    I have never posted this paper on the forum because I thought it was about sexual abuse but now I see there might be a real need for it, especially for those of us who prayed for help that never came. But also for those who don't realize they terrible damage that the Watchtower Society's policy on handling sexual abuse cases does to its victims

    Traumatic Child Sexual Abuse, Psychological Death and the Reduction in the Belief in the Power of God

    Traumatic child sexual abuse is a major issue which concerns much of society. The long-term effects of child sexual abuse have been well documented by numerous researchers. However, one particular effect that has received little attention is how child sexual abuse may affect the victim's belief in the power of God.

    Many victims of traumatic sexual abuse experience a type of psychological death which may contribute to a decrease in religiosity and in the belief in the power of God. It seems that some children; a) are taught that there is a God who loves and protects children, b) are repeatedly abused, c) ask God for help and receive none, d) experience a form of psychological death, and e) stop believing that God will save them.

    The sexual abuse of children has been widely researched (Badgely, 1984; Bagley, 1985; Finkelhor, 1986; Russell, 1986) as well as the long-term effects of that abuse (Bagley & Ramsay, 1986; Briere & Runtz, 1988; Gelles & Straus, 1988; Haugaard & Reppucci, 1988; Meek, 1990).

    In recent years, sexual abuse has been recognized as a traumatic experience for the child. Everstine and Everstine (1993) present a list of experiences which would result in trauma. Among the traumatic experiences are: being beaten, battered, being held hostage, being raped or molested, being threatened with bodily harm, and being the target of a credible death threat (p.5).

    Finkelhor and Browne (1986) maintain that experiences such as childhood sexual abuse "alter the child's cognitive and emotional orientation to the world, and create trauma by distorting a child's self-concept, worldview, and affective capacities" (in Finkelhor & ass. 1986). The distortions in self-concept, frequently result in a sense of helplessness, powerlessness and entrapment (Allender, 1992; Summit, 1983; Terr, 1990;), the distortions in worldview result in a sense that the world is not a safe place (Haugaard & Reppucci, 1988; Herman, 1992; Johnson,1992), and distortions in affective capacities result in psychic numbing or dissociation (Briere, 1992; Meek, 1990; Waites, 1993).

    POWERLESSNESS
    Terr (1990) states that "psychic trauma" occurs when a person experiences an intense, overwhelming emotional shock (p.2). This emotional shock leaves the individual feeling utterly helpless during the event. To a young child, who is both smaller and weaker than an adult aggressor, it becomes almost impossible for a child to experience anything but helpless to stop the abuse from occurring.

    Finkelhor & Browne (1986), provide an explanation for the intense feelings of powerlessness that occur during abuse incidents. Without permission, the child's body is invaded. The offender uses forms of lies, deceit and trickery to involve the child in the abuse. Over time the child becomes increasingly aware of an in ability to stop the abuse from being repeated. The recurring incidents result in the child continually feeling fearful about another attack. If the child is able to disclose the abuse, the the child is frequently not given the needed help, which reinforces the child's inability to prevent another attack. The psychological impact of this on the child is to increase anxiety and fear. The child's perception of self becomes one of a victim who cannot control the situation (Finkelhor & Browne, 1986).

    PROTECTION
    The child also becomes acutely aware that outside help cannot be relied on. In many cases, in fact, the very people that the child is supposed to rely on for protection are the ones who are abusing the child. Summit, (1983), reports comments made to a child to ensure secrecy concerning the abuse. Comments such as "Nobody will believe you", "Don't tell your mother; (a)she will hate you, (b)she will hate me, (c)she will kill you, (d)she will kill me, (e)it will kill her, (f)she will send you away, (g) she will send me away, or (h) it will break up the family and you'll all end up in an orphanage." are extremely common as well as "If you tell anyone (a)I won't love you anymore, (b) I'll spank you, (c) I'll kill your dog, or (d)I'll kill you." (Summit, 1986, p. 181). These kinds of comments and threats to a child give the message that there is nowhere to go for protection.

    PSYCHIC DEATH
    Waites (1993) refers to "The shock of a sudden trauma" that "throws body and mind off balance" (p.21). She notes that if the body survives the traumatic shock "subtle or dramatic alterations occur, some of which resemble a kind of psychic death; a sense of aliveness may be temporarily or even permanently lost." (p.21). Waites (1993), continues, "...other victims of trauma, depleted of energy for reconstruction, may languish in a lethargic state that feels dead," (p. 21).

    In his book Soul Murder, Shengold (1989) states that what happens to a child subjected to "soul murder is so terrible, so overwhelming, and usually so recurrent that the child must not feel it and cannot register it, and resorts to massive isolation of feeling....A hypnotic living deadness, a state of existing `as if' one were there, is often the result." (p.25).

    Many trauma survivors speak of feeling numb, empty or dead inside. For many children, they simply do not have the cognitive ability to process what has happened to them. The feelings are too raw and must be separated from conscious awareness so the child can continue to exist, resulting in emotional numbing or psychic death.

    Everstine & Everstine (1993) state that "At the traumatic moment, the person confronts his or her own vulnerability [powerlessness] and eventual mortality [psychic death]" (p.22). The worst possible situation would occur if the event was caused by someone known and trusted. According to Everstine and Everstine (1993) "the victim's world view may be shattered". To the child there is no place of safety.

    Terr (1990) comments that extreme vulnerability results in a "fear of extinction" (p. 36). She continues "...and I don't mean dying. I mean the fear of being reduced to nothing, of being crushed". The only way a child has to cope with such tremendous vulnerability is to deaden all emotion. Terr states that "Repeated horrifying incidents at home can lead to the same sort of emotional deadening that scars the life of the occasional nuclear bomb victim... The horrors of sexual abuse of children, like those of war, become predictable. Psychic numbing may occur in any child as a response to this predictability." (p.82). As a result of this psychic numing the child may feel in a no man's land -- not dead but not alive either.

    Researcher and sociologist Diana Russell found that there was a statistically significant relationship between child sexual abuse and religious preference as an adult. She states, "When those [incest survivors] who had rejected their religious upbringing were taken as a percentage of the total number who had been raised with that particular religion statistics reveal a defection rate for incest victims of 53 percent compared with only 32 persent for women with no incest history." (Russell, 1986, p. 119).

    Russell states that child sexual abuse may be very disillusioning for the victim. After such an experience it may be difficult for a victim to "accept the notion of a just and loving God" (p.120).

    According to Dr. Judith Herman (1992) traumatized people "lose their trust in themselves, in other people, and in God." She states that in situations of terror people "cry out for their mothers and for God. When this cry is not answered, the sense of basic trust is shattered." (p. 52, 56). Incest survivors interviewed about their belief in a God who could protect them, confirm this loss of trust.

    Several interviews were conducted with incest survivors. They were questioned about the effect the abuse had on their belief in God. They responded:

    D.P. "I hated my father for what he did to me. I was afraid of men for years--I guess I still am. I just can't connect a loving father image to God. It's too much of a stretch for me."

    G.K. "God didn't help me. He didn't stop the abuse -- protect me. I found it hard to believe in Him after that."

    I.S. "Our family was never very religious. Probably more confused than anything. But after the abuse, I couldn't believe in God. If He was supposed to love me then why didn't He save me. I just decided He didn't exist...wasn't real."

    L.G. "I was raised Catholic and sent to Catholic schools. The nuns abused me and so did the priest. If that's God's love I didn't want anything to do with it."

    Their feelings are similar to survivor's quoted in the literature. Elly Danica, incest survivor and author of Don't, (1988) echoes this loss. "I yearn for someone to save me. Yearn for pity. There is no help.... I try to tell my teacher at school. She says: "You are subject to your father in all things. He is your lord as Jesus is your lord. He would do no harm and no wrong. He is right in all things. If you are punished or hurt it is for your own good. If he is too rough it is because he loves you. Pray to Jesus for comfort..."

    There is no comfort so I pray for martyrdom. At least if I were dead it would be over. (p.15).

    Literature for incest survivors frequently refer to this same loss of trust in God. Hancock and Mains (1987) quote a survivor; "With my father disliking me and my older brother abusing me sexually, I felt I couldn't trust God or anyone else. My life was full of fears."

    "I don't feel God really loves me-- and I've been willing to accept that because I haven't felt that I deserve his love..."

    "I was never able to see God as `Abba' or to have a real understanding of God as Father...I never let anyone into my place of safety because I felt I wasn't worth it--and besides, I couldn't even trust God not to hurt me." (pp. 26, 42, 44).

    Therapists Feldmeth and Finley (1990) also quote survivors responses to their feelings about God related to their abuse. They responded:

    I couldn't stop crying. I told God, "I hate you for being a man! I hate you for being a father! I know what fathers do to daughters!

    I just can't pray the Lord's prayer anymore. I can't get past the connection in my mind between the word father and abusive sex. If I think of God the Father, I think of a man with a penis.

    It is really hard to accept a heavenly Father when you've hated your real father and have not been able to trust him. When the only father that you ever had used and betrayed you, how can you expect this guy upstairs to do good things for you? (pp. 103-104).

    Clearly in both the literature as well as personal accounts women who were sexually abused and traumatized as young children have difficulty relating to an image of God as Father. Their ability to trust either specific men or men in general as well as images of men has been serious damaged as a result of betrayal, abuse, and trauma. Some women didn't think they were worthy of God's care.

    Throughout the literature trauma is linked to child sexual abuse. This type of severe trauma results in intense feelings of helplessness, lack of safety and protection and eventually a form of emotional numbing or psychic death. With no ability to end the abuse either through their own power or by resorting to outside powers, either other persons or even to God, sexual abuse victims frequently feel totally abandoned and find it difficult to believe that there is a just and loving God who will protect them. Clearly more research is needed concerning the effects of childhood sexual abuse on the the spiritual issues that are raised by this type of trauma.


    REFERENCES
    • Allender, D.B. (1992). When trust is lost: Healing for victims of sexual abuse. Grand Rapids , MI: Radio Bible Class.
    • Badgley, R.F. (1984). Sexual offences against children, vol. 1-2. Ottawa: Canadian Government Publishing Centre.
    • Bagley, C. (1985). Child sexual abuse within the family: An account of studies 1978 - 1984. Calgary: University of Calgary Press.
    • Bagley, C., & Ramsay, R. (1986). Disrupted childhood and vulnerability to sexual assault: Long-term sequelae with implications for counseling. Social Work and Human Sexuality, 4: 33-48
    • Briere, J. N. (1992). Child abuse trauma: Theory and treatment of the lasting effects. Newbury Park, CA:Sage
    • Briere, J., & Runtz, M. (1988). Symptomology associated with childhood victimization in a non-clinical sample. Child Abuse and Neglect, 12: 51-59.
    • Danica, E. (1988). Don't. London: Women's Press.
    • Everstine, D.S., & Everstine, L. (1993). Trauma Response: Treatment for emotional injury. New York: W.W. Norton & Co.
    • Feldmeth, J.R., & Finley, M.W. (1990). We weep for ourselves and our children: A Christian guide for survivors of childhood sexual abuse. New York: Harper/Collins
    • Finkelhor, D. & associates. (1986). Sourcebook on child sexual abuse. Beverly Hills: Sage.
    • Finkelhor, D. & Browne, A. (1986). Initial and long- term effects: A conceptual framework. In D. Finkelhor & ass. Sourcebook on child sexual abuse. Beverly Hills: Sage.
    • Gelles, R.J., & Strauss, M.A. (1988). Intimate Violence: The definitive study of the causes and consequenses of abuse in the American family. New York: Simon & Schuster.
    • Hancock, M. & Mains, K.B. (1987). Child Sexual abuse: A hope for healing. Wheaton, IL: Harold Shaw Pub.
    • Haugaard, J.J. & Reppucci, N.D. (1988). Sexual abuse of children: A comprehensive guide to current knowledge and intervention strategies. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.
    • Herman, J.L. (1992). Trauma and Recovery: The aftermath of violence - from domestic abuse to political terror. New York: Basic.
    • Interviews
      • D.P. incest survivor Mar. 14, 1994.
      • G.K. incest survivor Mar. 1, 1994.
      • I.S. incest survivor Feb. 26, 1994.
      • L.G. incest survivor Jan, 12, 1994.
    • Johnson, K. (1989). Trauma in the lives of children: Crisis and stress management techniques for counselors and other professionals. Claremont, CA: Hunter house.
    • Meek, C.L., Ed. (1990). Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder: Assessment differential diagnosis and forensic evaluation. Sarasota, FL: Professional Resource Exchange.
    • Russell, D.E.H. (1986). Secret Trauma: Incest in the lives of girls and women. New York: Basic.
    • Shengold, L. (1989). Soul Murder: The effects of childhood abuse and deprivation. New York: Fawcett/Columbine.
    • Summit, R. (1983). Child sexual abuse accommodation syndrome. Child Abuse and Neglect, 7: 177-193.
    • Terr, L. (1990). Too scared to cry: How trauma affects children... and ultimately us all. New York: Basic.
    • Waites, E.A. (1993). Trauma and Survival: Post- Traumatic and Dissociative disorders in women. New York: W. W. Norton & Co.
  • posey
    posey

    Hi Lady Lee, I think you're paper is interesting, but I really don't think it should have been used by that woman in that way. I totally understand why the girls walked out. If I was a survivor of sexual abuse, the last thing I would want would be to attend a group where God is talked about. It's so offensive and patronising. How exactly does it help the girls heal? It seems like some religious person trying to shove thier ideas down other peoples' throats. The girls can come to their own conclusions about God, it's really no one elses business. I guess they attended the group to attempt to heal, not to be told how their experiences have effected their beliefs regarding God. Does anyone else think the conductor of the group really made a mistake here? I know if I was in that group I would have found it hard to control my anger.

  • cognizant dissident
    cognizant dissident

    Lady Lee, I think you have drawn a fascinating connection. I never really thought about it too much, but grew up thinking my family never loved me and after never in my life ever getting anything I ever prayed for (and I don't mean material things), sometime in my 30's I came to believe God didn't care about me either. It was probably earlier than that really, but was probably cemented in my 30's. I do remember praying to Satan once for some powers as a teen, since praying to God didn't seem to be working out for me too well. lol. He didn't answer me either. Good thing, or I would have been terrified. It really is about that sense of powerlessness and needing desperately to be rescued by someone... anyone!

    Posey, I understand your point but I think you are missing the big picture. Sexual abuse affects every single aspect of your life and relationships in some way. Victims are often so shut down emotionally that they are unaware of the ways they are affected until someones asks the right questions. Sometimes its difficult for them to come to conclusions about anything because any conclusions they were to draw in life were beaten into them.

    Bringing something into awareness, no matter what it is, no matter how painful or personal it is the first step to healing. Believe me, our feelings about God one way or the other, which is something external and somewhat remote after all, are nowhere as painful as our feelings of pain about our bodies or families which are much more immediate. It is just peeling another layer of the onion.

  • Broken Promises
    Broken Promises

    Well, the author who is running the “support group” (Is she a trained counselor?) made the mistake of presuming that the girls believed in God in the first place.

    Maybe she should study her subject more before trying to tell the girls what to believe.

  • Heaven
    Heaven

    The description of a 'Psychic Death' is very apt. It happens in abusive relationships. I experienced this in my marriage. I think JWs experience this too. One of the main issues in any abusive situation are the lies and untruths that are told. Trust is destroyed. Perhaps this is why I've never really felt like I belonged anywhere. With abusiveness towards a child, they are totally helpless to do anything about it and God isn't there for them. At least for me, as an adult, I had the ability to escape and end the abuse. A child is not this fortunate.

    It has been my experience that to bring God into these kinds of sitatutions makes it worse, not better. For if the God of the Christian Holy Bible is the creator of all things, then he created abuse. And he actually set it up pretty much from the get go, especially between men and women. He also set up punishment of all people for something none of us did. These things have always baffled me because they fly in the face of Jesus' message of 'love' and 'forgiveness' and 'helping others'.

    So we lowly humans are to do that which God could not/cannot do?

    Regarding JWs, the Watchtower creates an environment where all their members are made helpless. 'Waiting on Jehovah' gets you absolutely nowhere. Keeping abuse secret and quiet only furthers the agenda of the abuser. I told my Father recently: "I have learned in life that I am the only person I can rely on. If it's got to be, then it's up to me. I don't rely on anyone else."

  • cognizant dissident
    cognizant dissident

    Broken Promises:

    Since about 90% of people do believe in God, it was a fair assumption to make. She was also asking them how their experience affected their belief in God, thereby giving them a chance to open up and say if they no longer believed in God because of what happened to them.

    There isn't one word in Lady Lee's article or her post that tells anybody how to feel about anything. It simply documents what many victims say they were feeling. You are jumping to conclusions.

  • Broken Promises
    Broken Promises

    Since about 90% of people do believe in God

    They do? I suppose if you're living in some backwoods hillbilly state they do.

    But still, the author (counsellor?) introduced an idea that assumed that they believed. It just seems a bit unprofessional.

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    The author, Sandra Knauer is a licenced clinical social worker who specializes in treating sexual abuse on a multigenerational basis. Her is what the website for her clinic says about her

    Sandra (Sandy) Knauer is a licensed clinical social worker, a certified drug and alcohol counselor and a certified sex therapist. Sandy has been a psychtherapist for almost twety years during which time she has worked in the mental health field with a specialization in treating trauma, sexual abuse, incest and rape.

    Sandy has spent a large part of her career working with dually diagnosed populations, especially as those populations pertain to substance abuse with a diagnosis related to traumatic events in the client's life.

    Sandy's undergraduate degree is a BA in psychology from the University of Delaware. Her graduate degree is a MSW from Delaware Sate University. She has done internships at Child Protective's Sexual Abuse Unit and Delaware Guidance Services. Sandy's graduate school thesis was based on research at the Attorney General's Rape Unit in regards to how victims interpreted the sentences their abusers received.

    Besides working with drug and alcohol Sandy is certified in EMDR and is a published author of the following books: No Ordinary Life: Parenting the Sexuallly Abused Child and Adolescent (Charles Thomas Publishing), Recovering from Sexual Abuse, Addictions and Compulsive Behaviors: "Numb" Survivors (Haworth Publishing) and the most recent novel Every 10th Starfish (AEG Publishing).

    Sandy has given workshops and trainings regarding the following topics: Dissociative Identity disorder, Detecting Sexual Abuse in Children, Treating Sexual Abuse and Disabilities, Sexual Abuse and Lost Potential, Sexual Abuse and Loss of Woman's Power, The Impact of Sexual Abuse Upon Women's Potential and Choices, Sexual Abuse, Teen Pregnancy, and Addiction, Sexual Abuse and Custody Issues, Trauma and Dual Diagnosis, and Life Choices, Life Lessons, and Foster Care.

    She is the founder and owner of Middletown Counseling Services.

    I'd say she is well trained. She was not attempting to preach to them about God. She was trying to open a dialogue about how they felt about a God who they thought didn't help them. Most people do believe in a God whether it is Allah, or Buddha or Krishna or some other God. Most people in their worst hours will cry out "Oh God" even if they are unbelievers.

    These were kids who felt betrayed by everybody they knew including God. I'm not surprised by their reaction although she was - enough to write me and include it in the book. In the intro she says:

    These young survivors could not integrate the idea that God, as most organized religions portray Him, could really exist if He had let young children be used as sexual objects. One survivor recounted how she had prayed to God to stop her father from raping her. She was furious that "God" had caused her abuse to happen and to continue all throughout her childhood and most of her adolescence.

    Another teenager asked: If God had so much power and knew everything that was going to happen, why had He allowed her uncle to brutally rape her time and time again? Why hadn't God answered her prayers and made the abuse stop or made her parents stop drinking and using drugs long enough to have them see the abuse that was happening right in front of them?

    I don't know that my paper needed to be used to address this issue. I do believe it is an issue that needs to be addressed if survivors are to find some sort of spiritual connectedness to the world around them.

  • Broken Promises
    Broken Promises

    Most people in their worst hours will cry out "Oh God" even if they are unbelievers.

    It's just an expression, not an admission of faith.

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    I didn't say it was an expression of faith. I think it is a hope that there is something beyond us that might help

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