question for those with husbands/wives in the borg

Evidently Apostate

how do you respond when they question your enlightenment? do you find yourself holding back explaining specific doctrinal flaws or let it fly both barrels? i know we want our loved one to see things for what they are but even a tactfull response will cause the borg teachings to take over and everything becomes an absolute with my wife. i feel pretty alone inside.

moshe

Go to marriage counseling, get it out in the open. I came to the conclusion many years ago, that people do have a right to follow the JW crap. The question is, are you willing to be a doormat for the JW spouse for ever, in order to save the marriage? No? How about 20 years? maybe? 10 years? You do see where this is going. Your spouse may never quit being a JW. Good luck.

Evidently Apostate

moshe, i have been to counseling but unless the counselor understands the jw commitment it really was a waste of time, i have thought about moving on but i really see how she refuses to think for herself and to me that is the brainwashing if i could circumvent the wall i could gently help her see the truth.

NiceDream

I was very shocked when I realized that this wasn't "the truth" and told my husband various things I learned, like how 607 isn't really supported. He agreed to that, and even agreed the JWs make mistakes and aren't "inspired."

I told him things I didn't understand, like the new generation, and asked why does the Holy Spirit keep making the faithful and discreet slave change their minds on things. He didn't have an answer. He doesn't want to go there.

Now, he refuses to talk about anything religious with me. We got into some pretty heated arguments before, and it was like he was going to snap. He just can't mentally handle going there.

So how do I deal with it? I'm just waiting and hoping things will change. I have great friends on here that I talk about religious things with and vent when I need to.

Good luck! It's really tough feeling alone inside.

Evidently Apostate

ND: he doesn't want to go there.

same line of thinking with my wife, no answer just where do we go, and wait on god

ND: i am just waiting and hoping things will change.

i am begining to think they wont for me

garyneal

As the Unbelieving Spouse TM of a Jehovah's Witness who has discovered the truth about the TRUTH, life has been interesting and sometimes lonely. I go to a different church than my wife and feel that even if she did begin to awaken, I doubt she would ever consider another church or religion. I mean, why should she when sometimes even I wonder whether or not it is worth the bother (my parents obviously thought it wasn't and never took us to church regularly).

At this point, my wife reasons that God really isn't putting in that much effort to prove that He exists. However, she is playing pascal's wager by following the religion of her family and heritage since she believes her religion is 'the most right.' In her mind, she is probably right for after all it is the beliefs that are instilled into us as children that tend to stick with us (and she's a born in).

I'm just concerned for our children and how they are going to handle it. Right now, my daughter knows that daddy goes to church and mommy goes to kingdom hall. One day she is going to question why. How do I tell her that I think they are wrong in banning holidays and saying that all other religions (including other Christian religions) are wrong. Worse, how do I explain the whole blood thing and the reprecussions that it can have on all of us?

Evidently Apostate

gary, someday your little girl is going to read or hear that everyone not a jw is going to be murdered by god, that burns in my mind. i have kids and the lies they will be told about me if i leave is something i think about daily. i do think our wives are similar in that they are born ins and will follow the status quo

garyneal

gary, someday your little girl is going to read or hear that everyone not a jw is going to be murdered by god, that burns in my mind.

That's another thing I am concerned about. That, and the possibility that someone at the church I attend may tell her something bad about Jehovah's Witnesses. I mean, why can't these Christian religions try to reach any consensus and what makes each Christian group so sure that they have the 'correct' interpretation of the Bible?

NiceDream

Gary - my husband said the exact same thing, the "truth" is the "most right religion" to him. He said he will always be a witness, and if the witnesses don't have the "truth" then there is no God.

I'm still interested in the Bible, and want to go to church. Unfortunately I can't at the moment, but I would love for my little one to see the difference between the religions. I don't think my husband would stay in it if his whole family left, but it will take a long time to reach that point.

I was basically born-in, but I saw the hypocrisy and lies. It helped having solid "wordly" friends in school to show me that there are nice people and other Christians out there that don't seserve to die.

EA - Sometimes I think my hopes are in vain too. Sending you a PM.

garyneal

He said he will always be a witness, and if the witnesses don't have the "truth" then there is no God.

At one point in time my wife was attending church with me. Of course, she would always find something wrong with the church. However, if I point out something wrong with the WTS, she will simply gloss over it, deny it, or find some way to make the other churches look just as bad or worse somehow.

Back when she wasn't that into the religion and celebrating holidays and birthdays with me, I would find that if I did not attend church for large swaths of time, she would not attend her meetings. However, if I wanted to start attending church regularly again, she would immediately run to the kingdom halls.

question for those with husbands/wives in the borg

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