Was it ever in your heart?

mamalove

I don't think it ever was in my heart, that is why I have found it relatively easy to leave and not be scared of the fear belief system. I feel kind of bad for people here who were so immersed that they still get these weird twinges of armageddon fears, etc. That has to be difficult to still have that looming feeling. The thing is that I wasn's raised in a "spiritually weak" family. Mine was big time JW all the way, regular, assembly parts, elder/PO family members, etc. It just goes to show that there have to be loads of JW's out there who are just putting on the "show" to

What do you attribute to the main reason you were able to leave and embrace new viewpoints? Is it the heart, or your desire for intellectual satisfaction and proof, lifestyle, circumstances?

Happy Monday!

CNUMB

I agree with you mammalove.I don't think it was really in my heart.My association with JWs was only from 74-79 and while I embraced the message of peace on earth and goodwill toward men I became angry with myself and my situation and quit attending meetings.No brothers came by to inquire as to my being absent so it was easy to leave and resume my pre-JW lifestyle.

MMXIV

Hi mamalove,

It was never really in my heart so probably did make it easier to leave. As a born-in telling my parents who are sincere that I don't believe what they have spent decades teaching me was tough though.

It may have been in my heart briefly when I was a kid looking at pictures of the paradise and the cuddley animals. I was a people pleaser and wanted to do the right thing.

I guess the new viewpoints I embraced were that I didn't believe most of the WTS viewpoint. So much of what I heard from the platform of what I read in the magazines was illogical, contained sweeping statements, plain dumb. As I didn't believe it, the benefits for being in were small compensation compared to the burdens.

I'm so glad to get on with life although I'm still finding my way on what i do believe.

MMXIV

mamalove

MMXIV, I also tend to be a people pleaser. I think that is why I stayed in until I could bear living in the lie no longer. I think most JW's are people pleasers as that is how we were raised to be!

brotherdan

It WAS in my heart, 100%. I think that might be rare (or maybe not) because I'm a born in. But I believed it all. While I saw extreme corruption in the organization from an early age (I wrote a letter when I was 15 about how the elders were treating people in the hall), I still viewed it as God's organization and loved it. When I first started at bethel I felt like I was in paradise. I took a good 3-4 months for me to come down from that "spritual high". But I think that experience and what happened when I came back from bethel caused me to be able to see that the entire thing was merely an illusion constructed by some intelligent men.

its_me!

Mamalove--- I was born in. so it was all I had known, but I had always felt that I was wicked because field service and meetings always made me miserable. Not because I was lazy, but I always felt very judged by everyone in the congregation. I think it was partly because I grew up in a very small community and they were very strict, and I apparently, despite my best efforts, never lived up to their standards. There were very few young people in my congo, and I was a pretty young girl. (though I did not know it). No matter how modest I tried to be in my dress, and no matter how many times I pioneered, it didn't matter. I was always an outcast. I have been inactive for a year now, but I still feel pain because I do not have the relationship with my mother that I used to. I felt that she was my best friend, but since I have been inactive, we almost never talk. But even with all of that, I am still happier than I have ever been. When I was in the Org, I had frequent thoughts of suicide. I no longer have those. Hooray for freedom!

Doubting Bro

I bought it hook, line, and sinker. Even when I had doubts about particular teachings, I always thought Jehovah would take care of it in his own time. I honestly thought that God was using the org and that anything I did for it was in His service.

Wow I'm stupid! Tell you what, I won't EVER get fooled on that sort of claim again.

trebor

I was born into it and believed it and served the organization with all my heart and soul - Of course serving the organization with the belief of I was serving Jehovah. I made irreversable and forever changing desicions which have permanently affect my life, and has had devestating and severe consequences as a result of believing the Watchtower Bible Tract Society backed organization of Jehovah's Witnesses was "the truth".

It is bitter sweet that after spending 3 decades in the cult-like religion that I was able to escape it. Almost my entire side of the family is still trapped in it, but my wife's parents also escaped. The rest of my wife's family have never been 'recruited'.

Getting back on track with the topic, not only my heart, but everything I had was in "it". "It" ended up being nothing more but another high level control group with cult-like tactics and teaching techniques.

-Trebor

mentallyfree31

mamalove - it was in my heart 100%. They had me snookered all the way. I thought this stuff was for real. The greatest day of my life was when I realized it was lies upon lies upon lies and that I didn't have to do this anymore. In about 2 months, I was completely able to shake off the fear and guilt and walk away happy.

bigmac

i was baptised aged 14, totally ignorant of any implications, to please parents ( 48 years ago ); it was never in my "heart" or mind. I simply did not believe in god, so the time i spent pioneering, being a min serv, doing public talks home & away was just an act.

i walked away from it all with a 2-finger gesture pre 1975 & never looked back.

to me the watchtower, armageddon, new world , resurrection etc has no relevance: might as well be a foreign language.

aren't i the lucky one?

Was it ever in your heart?

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