Gosh I almost forgot what that was like ....being 'awake' ,but still going to meetings .
Your comments made me remember how it was for me several yrs ago . I was mentally done with the Witnesses ,but my adult /teenage kids and Husband were all Witnesses .I said nothing ,continued going to meetings ,but felt terrible stress mentally and emotionally .I was mad inside all the time .
Every convention or assembly I would become so angry when I heard the talks telling young people to fore go college for pioneering . I became more aware of how the talks were glorifying the GB instead of Jesus . I would look around and think 'come on people don't any of you see the manipulations going on here ?'
I honestly did think it was just me ....then I found this site ! OMG do you know what a relief it was to find other people that were thinking the same things ???
After joining this site and reading COC and a few other books (Dr Phil's "Self-Matters ") I found the courage to make the decision to stop going anymore . (It was a scary move to make because our whole family were JW.) My two older sons had moved away from home ,and our youngest made it clear he no longer wanted to attend meetings . (after being unfairly treated by the Elders) I finally had ,had enough .....so after a Sunday meeting I told my husband I was no longer going to attend meetings . He was shocked and for about a week he wouldn't talk to me . He thought I was ending our marriage ...after I explained that was NOT the case, and told him I just could no longer stand the hypocrisy of the religion . He just stopped attending too . It took another two yrs before I started revealing the major problems within the religion to him . He still has never made an attempt to investigate for himself ......but I don't hold anything back from him now about what I think about how and what we had been taught all these yrs . (Baptized over 30 yrs)
Here we are almost five yrs out ,and now all of our sons and daughter in law have faded too . There has been loss of course . It is hard that his some of his family has pulled away from us, as well as my brother 's family .But we have our immediate family intact .
So give it time do it however works best for you ,but know it is possible !