need words for my JW father

by alamb 24 Replies latest jw friends

  • moshe

    Your Dad would likely lie to a householder who asked him," Is it true that JW's break up family ties by shunning anyone who leaves the WT religion?". If he told the truth about shunning the door would get slammed in his face, if he told the lie, he has admitted he in not in the truth.

    So, ask you Dad what would he tell a househoolder who asked him if he would shun/cut off any son or daughter who quit the WT religion? If he said he would tell the truth, tell him he needs to stop lying. We know better.

  • alamb

    Thanks everyone.

    Yes, Quandry, he was my molester. The court put a restraining order on him and my mom being around the girls since she condones it. Now he's DF'd and pointing fingers at me for DAing myself 14 years ago. Apparently I've wrecked the family.

  • cyberjesus

    very interesting situation you are in. I would just reiterate to him that you dont want to cut any communication with the family, that you understand very well their posture and that if you thought what they think you would probably even shun him and any other Dfd person. But that now you have a different point of view regarding life, family, religion, etc. tha now you want to take cards in the matter and make a positive change in the life of your family and you wont give up on them. even if they give up on you.

  • AudeSapere

    Hi Alamb! Loonng time no see~!!

    Maybe something along the lines of: BECAUSE I deeply value truth, honesty and integrity, I cannot tolerate association with such an unchristian organization as Jehovah's Witnesses. ?????

    I agree that it needs to be succinct.


  • alamb

    Cyber: Ya, complicated doesn't BEGIN to define this. 9 years of fighting for JW children and fighting ALL the family in the process.

    Aude! HI!!!!!!!!!!!! I've tried to "move on" somewhat, but they contact me once a year or so to text pot shots at me. And again I fall for it. How are you?

  • I quit!
    I quit!

    I don't mean to offend but your father is not only a pervert he is an idiot! I try not to swear a lot but my words to him would be: You've got to be f'ing kidding me. After how you behaved, you and the rest of those self righteous morons dare look down on me and consider yourselves too pure to talk to me. How warped is your sense of right and wrong? You all need a reality check and a morality check. Then I would ask him if he ever considered that maybe his perverted behavior might have had something to do with me leaving the Watchtower.

    Your father is the one that needs to be avoided, not you. He should be humbly begging your forgiveness and those he harmed. How dare he come off like that!

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    Frankly, I'd use "theocratic warfare"... otherwise known as "tell a lie". I've been lied to enough that I'd text back:

    Actually, this isn't alamb, this is [insert name here]. Alamb couldn't find her phone and I found it... with your message. If you're going to shun her, just shun her and leave her alone. Quit harassing her because she won't rejoin your stupid CULT! I'm deleting your message so she doesn't have to read this sh!t.

    Am I any good at "theocratic warfare", or what?

  • Quandry

    Yes, Quandry, he was my molester. The court put a restraining order on him and my mom being around the girls since she condones it. Now he's DF'd and pointing fingers at me for DAing myself 14 years ago. Apparently I've wrecked the family.


    Iam 58 years old, spent over thirty years as a JW, then spent hour after hour reading posts on this forum, and I thought I couldn't be surprised anymore. I was wrong. I just don't know what to say. How your mother and father could possibly view you as the one to wreck the family is just beyond me. As a mother, I cannot fathom condoning my husband molesting the child that I carried and gave birth to.

    I will just say that you are a survivor, and a wonderful mother who worked very hard to protect her own girls from irreputable harm that could have been dealt them by having contact with your father in any unsupervised capacity.

    You did not say how your girls are doing now, or whether they are witnesses today. Of course, I hope they are with you and are free from the JWs.

    I am just so floored by the above, I don't know what words you could use for your father. He says the "whole family stayed in the truth" but the real truth is that he crossed a boundary when he molested you. It broke any familial bond by nature of the perverted act. He did you a grave injustice to satisfy himself. I agree with I quit! He should be begging for your forgiveness, instead of continually putting you through what must be more heartache. Especially if he wants you to be part of the family again. Also, since he's df'd, how is the "whole family in the truth?"

    I am sorry, alamb, that you have to go through this.

  • alamb

    Thanks for the comments guys. My dad is DF'd his second time for alcholism, not molesting me. He even admitted to it but the elders didn't see the point of "punishing" him. I know, it unbelievable. They are from a small town and need all the pubs. they can get and my mom places 100 mags a she's irreplacable. I have her on tape saying since I was over 12 it was OK. It's all on here.

    Bottom line: I fought for custody and got it. My JW ex went to the state and cried religious discrimination. The judge have him the girls in 2002 with a bunch of stipulations on custody (not indoctrinating them). Of course he broke all the rule about not taking them to meetings, etc. But if I take him back to court, I'm working for Satan. They are now 22, 20, and 17. They are all shunning me. I guess I will just wait and see if they ever wake up. Which has been more hell than I'd wish on anyone.

    The whole story is on here. Photos too.

    Thanks for the help. I've argued with my dad via texting for 3 days now. Quoted every scripture. I got back, "Take 2 scriptures and call me in a month. You a spiritually sick." wow

    I may call his elders and tell them to ask him to stop harrassing me. : )

  • Georgiegirl

    Hell. I'd call the police and take out a restraining order. So sorry for what you've been through.

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