The Guilt Trip

by odie67 8 Replies latest jw friends

  • odie67

    I was doing just fine. Then not too long ago I got a call from an old JW friend not on purpose really(thats another subject)

    anyway we went through the "how are you" type thing. Then came the "why don't you come back...your life would be so much better"

    and on and on...."Just start going to a meeting at a time". I was so emotionally drained and upset afterwards...I was in tears.

    Then I found myself falling back into their mindset within a few minutes of conversation. The whole conversation was so mentally

    damaging. The guilt trip that they lay on you. Instead of them shunning me...From now on I'm going to shun them.

  • MsDucky

    It's not fun being played. I hate it. They really try to tug at your heart strings. One of my dub daughters friended her two non-dub sisters and didn't friend me. It bothers me. Life goes on, right? It such a little thing.

  • no more kool aid
    no more kool aid

    There are very few call I will take from a JW anymore, just not worth the head games. How dare they insinuate "your life will be better"! NMKA

  • cantleave

    I what way would you "life be better"?

    Is it better to constantly feel that you are not doing enough?

    Is better to be wasting your time going to boring meetings where the scriptures are twisted to meet the lies of the watchtower?

    Is it better to give up your freedom so you can be controlled by a cult?

    I think not!

  • WTWizard

    Your life will not be better if you go back to the boasting sessions. You will be hounded to do more field circus, and eventually the whole nine yards. That is a complete waste of time, and you get absolutely no benefits out of it. I could see spending the time if going back would further you socially, or professionally, or allow you to develop a talent. However, you will get none of these benefits at the Kingdumb Hell, yet you will be wasting the time.

  • Soldier77

    Instead of them shunning me...From now on I'm going to shun them.

    Give them some of their own medicine!

    A "friend" of mine called me up yesterday after the meeting, I didn't answer the call, left a message asking where I've been, how have I been doing etc, the normal nosy crap. I have no intention of talking to him again or any of the "friends" in the KH. I'm shunning them! lol

  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    It is called emotional blackmail .....JW use it ALL the time ...

    Ask yourself ,'Is that the kind of LOVE I want to go back to ?', Does a REAL friend make ultimatums such as ," I will only continue to be your friend as long as you keep going to meetings " ? (keep doing exactly as I say ) , Do you want 'friends' that make assumptions about you ? (you must be bad association because your not attending meetings )

    When I was told by an old friend that they wished I would come back to meetings ...... I asked them WHY? When I was attending I constantly was made to feel not good enough ....I was unhappy .....I didn't feel freedom ,but felt oppressed and burdened down ........WHY would YOU want me to go back to that ? Especially when I am enjoying my life now and am happy ....

    Shouldn't a real friend support you in your decisions instead of manipulating you to do what THEY think is best ?

  • chickpea

    best way to avoid a guilt trip is not to buy the ticket!!

    and blocking the peddlars out of your life is a great start....

    for the ones that DO get around your boundaries, like sudden
    run-ins at the mall or somesuch.... just have a pat answer and
    walk away.....

    my rote response to ANY attempts for convos that start with
    loaded questions like where have you been, we miss you,
    yada damn yada....

    listen, i am on a really tight schedule so i have to keep
    moving, just know i am doing really really well and i hope
    the same is true for you... gotta go (all the while moving away!)

  • Simon Morley
    Simon Morley

    Recently I had the same experience and was loathed to somehow give one morsel of how I trully felt, lest they run away and tell their friends a juicy bit of gossip. Further, any intimation of the real resson for my families fade would result in a charge of apostacy and the inevitable JC to silence me once and for all.

    I oped for saying something that would not only produce a quizzical look, be every bit honest with myself, but would get them thinking and leave them without any real comeback. I simply told them that I got baptized for the wrong, selfish motive of wanting personal salvation at the end of the "System of Things" and not really caring about the people I called on, loving God or his Son, comments I made at meetings were hollow, parts I had in the school were not how I really felt, talks I gave as an elder were self-serving,etc. Until I reconcile this imperfect feeling I would be serving with a wrong motive and needed to set matters straight myself first..... seems to have worked.

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