One of my favorite movies is No Country For Old Men. Towards the end, one old timer was giving advice to a younger cop who was having a difficult time accepting that the world was changing, he was getting older and would die eventually. He told him, "What you got aint nothing new. This country is hard on people, you can't stop what's coming. It aint all waiting on you. Thats vanity."
Dealing with the reality of death. How do you?
by confliction 30 Replies latest jw friends
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cult classic
chickpea - that quote is from shawshank redemption. good movie
misery - I love that conversation in no country for old men.
I have to agree with everyone. Actually I had a major meltdown once I realized I was actually going to die. Imagine that! After being told from birth that I would live forever then to be hit by reality in my 30s. It wasn't easy. But you will get over it.
Most people don't want to die. But there is a certain acceptance of the cycle of life that we were not privy to as witnesses. It is the very nature of things to die. We'll be no better or worse off than anyone else.
Death does its thing whether we are on board or not.
Cult Classic
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eyes wide shut
I mostly read but have been prompted to respond to this one question. There is something that tells me I need to help this person I don't know.
For me I needed to ask myself a straight forward question as to whether what this organisation taught about death was true and could be relied upon. And in a long story short I chose to look elsewhere for the answers to death.
For most former Watchtower followers the question remains as to what they were taught about death is true or not, given the perculeir interpretations of the writing commitees in Brooklyn.... that is, that we have no soul and we are annihilated upon death. This conclusion is also drawn from an Athiests perspective.
Therefore, one can choose to believe what they were taught by Jehovah's so-called Org, or, choose a broad secular approach a make the same sweeping statements echoed by Athiests, that is we cease to exist once we die. If you accept any of the above choices then I am sure there are ways to deal with this belief and be able to deal with it. The only difference between the two is that if you were still a JW in good standing a clone of yours would be recreated to live for you in the future proposed paradise of the JW theology for God's kingdom. In both cases you cease to exist forever.
However, I don't think anyone here on this board can answer that question for you because you will not find that answer in some person. You must find it in the Holy Spirit. This is also something that most former JW's find troubling that they must accept guidance from a printing company and not from the Holy Spirit.
Even if some person, like myself just told what is correct it is always possible that won't be accepted. The heart condition is necessary to know answer.
Humility is key.
When you have time and you are alone, away from distractions, read John chapter 6 through chapter 11. Before you do, pray fervently for direction and call upon the Holy Spirit to come upon you and guide you into truth. He will guide you.
As for me, I was a JW for over 40 years. One of the greatest lies they have ever made is that we do not exist when our bodies no longer function. But I can't tell you that. You must know this from the Holy Spirit.
Pray and I will pray for you. If you are comfortable with using the word Jehovah, then do. But you should pray and it will come.
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eyes wide shut
PS,
Jehovah's Witnesses don't deal with death very well either. They just think they do. I wonder how watchtowerites would deal with death if they knew that Armageddon would come beyond her lifetime. It doesn't work.
Imagine if you told a witness that Armageddon was coming 1000 years from now. That they have their date waaaaay off. Imagine what would happen if the GB,printing Co., gave them nooo light that the next date would be the year 3010.
They only strive to not die in a fleshly way.
Everything about the JW religion is to survive the body. The whole new Paradise and surviving death is fleshy. It is about gaining fleshly things.
Just look at the pictures and descriptions of what they discribe as God's kingdom.
They believe God's kingdom is about eating and drinking and building houses and having to pet wild animals....
God is beyond this and he has something more in store for mankind than just a friendly zoo with no diseases.
Pray my friend. My heart goes out to you
God bless
Maximos
The truth is beyond this.
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confliction
Cult Classic:
I have to agree with everyone. Actually I had a major meltdown once I realized I was actually going to die. Imagine that! After being told from birth that I would live forever then to be hit by reality in my 30s. It wasn't easy. But you will get over it.
Most people don't want to die. But there is a certain acceptance of the cycle of life that we were not privy to as witnesses. It is the very nature of things to die. We'll be no better or worse off than anyone else.Yeah, I think you've pretty much said what I meant- it's not that death really bothers me... I'm not necessarily afraid of dying, per se, but I'm having one of those life change episodes, and am having sort of a breakdown, like you. We lived our entire lives being told (and beliving!) that we would never see death, and that we didn't have to do or worry about many things, because we would never die, and all these different things, that you believe growing up as a jw.
When you're born into it, that's all you ever knew. But if you at some point in your life just became a jw, and then left, you just go back to reality- something that you already knew for the most part was coming, and understood.
It's hard to accept death if you never took seriously.Thanks for all the encouragement and advice, guys- I'll see if I can find some of the books some of you suggest.
And to eyes wide shut- I honestly accept and appreciate your advice. At this point in my life and through what I have learned so far, I have many doubts about the legitimacy about even the bible itself... But I try to live my life evaluating things objectively. Contradictions do not necessarily discredit some of the advice found in it.
If the evidence I glean on a subject favors one idea over another, I gravitate towards that side, naturally- not holding onto a bias because of fear or a sense of obligation to something untrue. That is what I call my "truth", and hopefully that's how it will remain.
But at the same time, I never want to discriminate someone on their beliefs because they don't match up with mine, as long it isn't destructive, doesn't manipulate and judge others, and break apart otherwise close and loving people over an idea. That's wrong, and is one of the many reasons I'm leaving.
With that in mind, though, what you have suggested couldn't hurt to try, and I will definitely look into it and give a hand at prayer; who knows what could happen. You sound like an honest, caring and kind person and I hope you keep that with you all of your days.To everyone else, thanks, and I wish the best to all of you- even the ones who may feel I'm their enemy...
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cult classic
It's hard to accept death if you never took seriously.
Confliction I hear you. That is exactly right. As bornins death was something that happened to everyone else. Even the few deaths we had in our family weren't really deaths because they were about to be resurrected soon after Armageddon. They were just sleeping. They would wake up on the other side...... yada yada yada.
I know exactly how you feel. I went through every emotion from shock, disbelief, anger, you name it. I just could not swallow the fact that I was a goner. The realization that I was mortal humbled me like nothing else. I remember sitting and looking at my husband and saying ... "so we're gonna die too, huh?" He was like, "yeah I think so..." LOL.
Talk about culture shock!
Cult Classic
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startingover
I not only grew up as a born in JW, but I also grew up around a convalescent hospital (nursing home is a more fitting term) I grew up seeing death, and as a JW I had no problem dealing with death. But now, as an ex-JW atheist, death has taken on a whole new meaning. I can't deal with it quite as well as I used to. Although I never pictured myself living in the WT paradise utopia, I somehow managed to not let the reality of death sink in. As I feel myself aging quickly, that harsh reality is hard to not think about, but it doesn't consume my life. There is lots of good advice on this thread, everyone deals with it differently, hopefully you can come to grips with the situation.
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Snoozy
Confliction, did you recently lose someone in death? You talked about the empty time and how to fill it so I am thinking you may have.
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I feel a lot like you do about death, I really don't know what to believe, but I have started praying and it feels good. It feels right. Even tho I have my doubts if God is real there is something about prayer that almost makes you a believer..
And it truly does give you strength.Snoozy
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KnowlegeSeeker_UK
Can I suggest you read some of the books by science Professor Richard Dawkins. I felt the EXACT same way and just ignored the feelings as I cound not rationalise it.
Dawkins made a statement that changed my view completly he said "How dare we complain of death, of all the organisms that failed, of all the organisms that died, of all the organisms that enjoy life less than we do, of all the millions of sperm that did not make it in the one act of conception of our very person.... how dare we complain of death- when we have been so lucky to have life."
This is so very true and I have not suffered that dread or sadness since.
