should mothers work?

sleepy

Should mothers work?
I was just reading how some tv personnality earns 250.000 a year and pays for someone to mind her children.
Isn't this making her job more important than her children?Would she pay this much herself for a child minder or is her job more important than being certain her children are recieving the best care?
Thats just thinking aloud ' I'm not sure where I stand on this.
Maybe staying home with young children all day is to much for one human prehaps we need to do other things and children don't need their mother all the time and are ok with someone else.
I was looked after by my mother when young who gave up her job when pregnant with her first child.
My wife however was looked after by a child minder while her mum went to work .she feels she didn't miss out and would do the same.

Mum

This question is one which many struggle with every day. In the days when other family members usually lived nearby, i.e., mother and child had an extensive support system, it would have worked much better.

Some children are better off with strangers who are emotionally detached, no question about it; but, in most cases, I believe it's better for both mom and child to be together during the early years. Ironically, in our society, the moms who have the most to offer their children are most likely the ones to be away at work.

Seize the day, and put the least possible trust in tomorrow. - Horace

I have learned to live each day as it comes and not to borrow trouble by dreading tomorrow. - Dorothy Dix

Scully

There are so many factors to consider in coming up with an answer to this.

What I find interesting is that the United States, with its supposed claim for the highest family values, only allows a working mother six weeks of maternity leave without jeopardizing her job. However, in Canada, a woman can take a year of maternity leave. In some European countries, it's even longer than that. And yet, in some countries, women have no rights to make any decisions in this matter at all. They are expected to return to their job within days, or they don't even HAVE a job. Others have to hide their pregnancy in order to keep working. Once the pregnancy is discovered, they are terminated.

When governments give support to working mothers that provide job security and income support for a period of time to spend with their newborn/infant, more often than not, a woman will take the opportunity to stay at home with their child. Women know that they are generally the best ones to care for their own children, especially in the early formative years.

The World Health Organization holds the position that the best food for babies for the first six months of life is their mother's milk. They also state that breastfeeding for at least a year is ideal. It offers not just nutrition for the child, but immunological protection derived from the antibodies in mother's milk, and protection from ear infections as a result of the mechanics of jaw movement by the baby during breastfeeding. These are just two of the main benefits to breastfeeding.

However, none of these benefits can be realisitically achieved when a woman has to return to her job after only a few weeks. It takes about 6 weeks for the 'supply and demand' aspect of breastfeeding to be properly established, and then you have to throw the monkey wrench in the works by returning to your job. Some mothers diligently try to pump their milk so the caregiver can give it to the baby. But that isn't breastfeeding, and some of the benefits of breastfeeding are lost this way. Not only that, mothers end up finding that doing this is highly inconvenient at work, for lack of a private area in which to do this, and lack of storage areas for her milk. Not to mention the obvious interruptions that pumping is going to entail, which doesn't go over well with the boss.

Governments that value the health benefits that breastfeeding has to offer children, tend to support maternity leaves that give mothers the opportunity to breastfeed their children beyond just a few days or weeks of the child's life.

When there is more support for working mothers in this manner, then more women afford themselves of the opportunity to stay at home with their children.

Love, Scully

Sky

I dont think that anyone has more to "offer" your children, than yourself, despite education...
No super intelligent person that is not that childs parent can teach them about love and family...
My cousin stays home iwth her two sons, and you wont believe the CRAP she puts up with from people, treating her inferior and stupis, because she is a stay at home mother...
There is no one with a more important job, than a stay at home mother.
Someone, who cant afford to stay home without taking food off the table is one thing, someone who chooses to abandon their children, for their "career" is another.
Sky

Princess

I worked before I had kids and there were women there who had no choice. A good friend of mine was a single mom who got married shortly after I met her. When she was pregnant with her third they made lifestyle changes so she could stay home with the kids. Another couldn't imagine a life more horrible than a stay at home mom. I found her detestable. She had two kids within one year and put her career before her kids. I was working while my husband was getting the plumbing company started. I quit working two weeks before our son was born and within two years had our daughter. He would never allow me to work while the kids are little. I don't mean he has complete control but rather he works hard so I don't have to work.

I can't imagine missing out on the daily happenings at home. Such as the screaming fight I'm going to break up right now.

Princess

Angharad

I can't imagine missing out on the daily happenings at home. Such as the screaming fight I'm going to break up right now.

LOL Princess, I know that feeling.

Although I really miss working, I am glad I stayed at home with the kids, even though they drive me crazy most of the time.

concerned mama

I don't regret staying home with my kids. They are so much fun, and I have truly enjoyed being with them and being involved as a volunteer in their activities. I'm very fortunate that financially we have been able to manage well. I fully admit that I wanted my kids to know that there was always someone who would be there if they needed them, and I knew my husband's demanding business meant it would be hard for him.

They grow up so fast anyway. I would say the only thing that I would have done differently is to work part time a bit more. I find I've forgotten so much, as I get more re-involved in my profession again.

I think every couple has to work out what works best for them and their kids.

Adonai438

I don't know if there is any 'right' answer to this. When you have children I think that they are your most important 'mission' in life from there on in. Everything you do should be focused on doing the best for your kids. No amount of money and things will ever be better for your children than having you there for them. Some families can't afford financially to have mom stay at home but even if that is the case mom can still make sure her priority is rearing and teaching her children. Personally, I stay at home with our one year old son and wouldn't change it for anything. There is nothing like watching him learn to walk, talk, and everything else.
He is my #1 priority in life now.

think41self

I'm with Adonai on this one. I don't think first of all that it's any one else's business but the mother and father of the baby(assuming they are together). I saw too many women tear themselves up with guilt because they had to work to feed their children...they were fine mothers who took good care of their kids and I think their kids have as much chance of turning out healthy and well adjusted as those who have stay at home moms.

On the other side of the coin, I've seen stay at home moms who became so depressed with the tedium of taking care of little ones day in and day out, that they actually were poor caretakers for their kids.

I chose to stay home with mine until they went to school, and I don't regret a minute of it. I didn't want to miss out on anything they did...but I also stayed busy and didn't let the kids become the center of my life which I think is unhealthy. If I were to have another child now GOD FORBID I would have to return to work shortly after. But I would still love it the same as the others, and care for it the same.

You can be a GREAT parent without spending every minute with your kids, but that's just my opinion.

think41self

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to!

beepers

Before I had my daughter I worked full time. After I had her I went to 2nd shift and part time. This way I am with her all day and her father is with her at night. It works very well for us.

Amy

should mothers work?

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