Free to remarry?

by Earnest 14 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Earnest

    I wonder if anyone can help with this information? I seem to recall that if a husband or wife commits adultery and is divorced, is it necessary for the innocent party to agree before that one can be reinstated? Regardless of that answer if the person is reinstated and wishes to remarry do they need the agreement of the innocent party before they can remarry if they wish to maintain a good standing in the congregation?

    I do not see why this should be a scriptural requirement but in the back of my mind I seem to remember that this was the case in the past. If you can clarify with chapter and verse (of the WT, Pay Attention book, etc) I would greatly appreciate it.

  • babygirl30

    Yes and NO...

    Doesn't help - I know! But it all depends on the 'elders' in your cong what is acceptable and what isn't. I know a couple in one cong where the wife cheated, she and the husband got divorced, and the wife went to get reinstated and the elders rejected her reuqest until she 'made ammends' with her ex - namely, and apology. She did. Then she went to get remarried to a brother, and the elders said NO - they would not perform the ceremony until her ex gave his thumbs up.

    I also know of a sister whose husband cheated on her, got DF'd, and within in a year he was reinstated and remarried (to the girl he cheated with) - and the elders NEVER said one word! Nobody asked the exwife if she was 'ok' and nobody checked if she ever received an apology or if he had tried to make ammends. So in that instance, she was never consulted at all. TO this day she is still hurt by that...that he bascially got reinstated and married and NOBODY spoke to her at all.

  • Found Sheep
    Found Sheep

    no.. they are both free as soon as the divorce is final...

  • yknot

    I was searching the CD and KS91

    I don't find what you suggest ...

    However I did find two 'gems' on privileges of position: The early comment bans being given privileges, the newer suggest dangles the carrot of 'many years' and only after the remarriage or death of the 'innocent mate'

    *** w83 3/15 p. 29 Honor Godly Marriage! *** (echoed in KS on pg 135, 136 though the article is discussing planned adultery it is applies to unplanned adultery too in the KS)

    Even if such a sinner were in due course reinstated, it would be many years, if ever, before the elders could recommend him for special privileges in the congregation, and in any event not before the remarriage or death of the innocent mate. (1 Timothy 3:2, 12)

    *** w56 10/1 p. 598 par. 41 Marriage Obligations and Divorce ***

    If the repentance bears the required fruitage of a proper fulfillment of his obligations in the new legal marriage and if then he is fully readmitted to the congregation, he is ever after disqualified from holding any official, exemplary, responsible office or privilege in the congregation. His private past in the truth is not a good example.

  • dgp


  • mouthy

    Earnest ....Jesus died for you to live more abundently.So if you want to remarry, divorce,its your discission.
    HE examines hearts !!!

    I dont think anyone in the world ,can give us the answer to what is right or wrong, that is why we have a conscience
    God gave us it to help us through our life....

    Hope you have left bondage my love ((((HUG)))

  • changeling

    I'll let someone else find a direct quote for WT lit, but it's my understanding that as long as the innocent party is open to reconcile, they guilty party is not off the hook. In other words, if you are guilty of adultery you can not, in the org's eyes, move on and remarry if your innocent partner still wants you back.

  • mouthy

    in the org's eyes, But why should he listen to a bunch of old men in Brooklyn tell him whar he should do????

  • compound complex
  • Earnest

    Thank you very much for all the comments.

    changeling, you are quite correct in what you say as I have found in the 'Pay Attention to Yourselves and to All the Flock' book the following advice :

    If the guilty one unilaterally obtains a divorce over the objection of the innocent mate, this does not free the guilty one to remarry. If he marries someone else while the innocent mate is still willing to forgive his adultery and resume their marital arrangement, his is an adulterous marriage. (Luke 16:18) This calls for congregation judicial action in addition to any already taken, unless he has already been disfellowshipped.

    However, this is not quite the situation I am wondering about. In the situation I am referring to the innocent party has divorced the adulterer, the adulterer has been disfellowshipped and reinstated and now wants to remarry. The innocent party has not remarried and for whatever reason does not want the adulterer to remarry. The question is that if the innocent party objects to the remarriage is that sufficient reason that such a remarriage should be prevented by the elders or action be taken if the marriage goes ahead.

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