Installing a Husband

by Mythbuster 9 Replies latest social humour

  • Mythbuster

    Dear Tech Support,

    Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow-down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NHL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

    Signed, Desperate

    Dear Desperate,

    Keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command ithoughtyoulovedme.html, try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If those applications work as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. However, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program as it will download the Gas Passing and Snoring Loudly Beta. Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). In addition, please DO NOT attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. This is an unsupported application and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

    Good Luck!
    Technical Support

  • serenitynow!

    That's funny! Does marriage really change things? That's disappointing!

  • Darth plaugeis
    Darth plaugeis

    It's funny................... because it's true.

  • JeffT


    Subject: Wife 1.0

    To: Technical Support:

    Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed
    that the new program began unexpected child processing that
    took up a lot of space and valuable resources . No mention of
    this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In
    addition, Wife1.0 installs itself into all other programs and
    launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other
    system activity.

    Applications such as Pokernight 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5
    and Monday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system
    whenever selected. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the
    background while attempting to run some of my other favorite
    applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0,
    but the un-install for Wife 1.0 does not work.

    Can you help me, please!!!



    Tech Support Writes Back

    Dear Chris:

    This is a very common problem male employees complain
    about, but it is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many
    people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that
    Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT
    program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and
    designed by its creator to run everything. It is unlikely you
    would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to
    Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would
    cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained.

    It is impossible to un-install, delete, or purge the program files
    from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend
    7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried
    to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more
    problems than the original system.

    Look in your help files under “Warnings-Alimony/Child
    Support”. I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with
    the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also
    suggest you read the entire section regarding General
    Partnership Faults(GPFs). You must assume all
    responsibility for faults and problems that might
    occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be
    to enter the DOS-command

    C:\APOLOGIZE or click the I’M SORRY! Icon for Macintosh
    systems. In any case avoid excessive use of the Esc key because
    ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE/SORRY
    command before the operating system will return to normal. The
    system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all
    the GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high

    Consider buying additional software to improve the performance
    of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 5.0.
    DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short
    Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is
    likely to cause irreversible damage to YOUR hardware.

    Best of luck.

    Tech support

  • carla

    I'm liking Happy Hour 7.0 for myself these days, unfortunately Judgemental Family Members 2.0 would make installation crash the entire system.

  • SnakesInTheTower

    marking for later read to Fiancee 2.0. Her sense of humor (v 3.1) is compatible with this thread.

    Snakes (Rich )

  • dgp


  • cult classic
    cult classic

    LOL guys I'm sending this out to some friends.

  • finallyfree!

    Ladies ladies!! Sounds like you have a complicated problem with a simple solution. All you have to do to fix this problem is install the latest version of smile 5.0, update your old hard drive with the newest version of sex drive 6.9 and ur set! Turn on the new system and be amazed at how smooth and fast everything runs. Lol! If that doesn't work, then change the whole thing for a new one, they sometimes are defective.

  • mama1119

    Ahhhh, so funny, because its so true! Love it!

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