A few thoughts

by Powermetal4ever 10 Replies latest jw friends

  • Powermetal4ever

    Saturday night in the country where I am from, I am sitting by my computer alone and drinking and having some thoughts. Hos sad isnt that? .....I am feeling a bit down right now and dont know what to do.Had a call from my mum, she was among other things saying that its not very good that I dont go to meetings if they are not (she and my dad. It takes an hour to go the KH, and my dad is the only one having a driving license and car) And she also said I should socialize more with the persons in the cong. And then she asked if I am doing any ministry these days, I said yes sometimes I do that. Which was a lie... I hate lying, but the whole situtation makes me do it. What am I gonna do?! She doesnt know I am mentally out yet, dont know how to tell her either, what should I start with? Something about JW TV maybe, that its like any other TV evangelist stuff, I dont know.... Theres is so many things I could talk about that is wrong in the org, but I dont know how and when, and she will probably be mad at me. And an other question, how are you faders coping wiht the ministry thing? Are you lying about it? Honestly I am putting in fake hours in my monthly report... I dont really like it, but it just have to do for the time being.

  • gone for good
    gone for good


    You go right ahead and put on those stupid reports whatever it takes to keep your eye simple, and your load light.

    When I was an elder we had a bro. who religiously (hehe) submitted 10 or 11 hours on his time slip. He did this for years, yet NEVER went to a field service arrangement.

    Needlless to say he got hassled usually, before or during the CO visit.

    He was self employed and claimed he talked to people all the time, and he had a family of boys, so his weekends were spent with his kids, repairing things, welding dune buggies and stuff that his kids enjoyed and learned from.

    I envied the guy - looked after his family, never wasted gas and time on serveus and had the strength of his convictions to bullsh1t the bullsh1tters when they came around.

    I encourage you to drop all guilt in relation to the cults obligations - it's all just a con and you are just a mark.

  • zeb

    I often wondered how valid field service 'hours' were when , say, 4 people would drive for hours witness to a farm or two and then return. So 4 people x 6 hours is 24 hours logged but the actual witnessing time to people was anything but.

    I also have read a posting where the writer with link was quoting a wt lawyer saying(my words I forget the actual) in court that jw hours are not monitored by elders or by wt and are an individual personal mission.

    So when given a prick by the law the wt does its usual trick of dumping back on individuals and also lying its dragons head off.

    This may throw a different light on the matter of fs hours for you. i wish you well. Your mums world is the cong and she wishes that to be yours and being a mum never sees you as an adult with a life of work or experience away from the fold.


  • millie210

    Powermetal4ever, Im sorry you are feeling down.

    So many of us are in the same boat with you. I really like the posts above. Good practical tips.

    Taking things a step at a time is helping me. I am trying to be respectful to my "still in" loved ones while I extricate myself and I swear, I think brain surgery might be easier at times!

    Reading all the comments here on this site helps me to realize that others have the same difficulties and gives me good ideas on how to cope.

    I hope it is the same for you!

  • The Searcher
    The Searcher

    Hi PowerMetal4Ever - sorry to hear that your fade is more traumatic than my own. However, everybody's circumstances are different, so what works for one person won't work for someone else.

    My wife and I stopped doing any ministry as soon as we changed congregations. That made it easier. However, when my friend in the previous congregation asked me if I was still witnessing, I said 'Yes'. But not in the way that he thinks!

    Witnesses never ask if you are reporting your time!!

    The ball is at your feet - use it, and accelerate your fading by missing more meetings and preparing your replies for any questioners. (plenty of ideas on this site)

  • Powermetal4ever

    Thanks for all your positive comments, despite the little messy text.. I really appreciate it!

    I realise that I need to prepare more for those kind of questions I might get. But hey, that sounds familiar with something else...

  • hoser

    bullsh1t the bullsh1tters

    love that terminology. Con the con artists is an other term.

    As for lying on your field service report regular pioneers fabricate hours all the time. This whole religion is about appearances.

    My mom and mrs hosers mom are on our case constantly too. It doesn't look good for them if we aren't "progressing" spiritually.

  • Wild_Thing

    I think everybody on here has probably reported fake hours in the beginning of leaving. Its just part of the process, I guess.

    The bottom line is: there is no graceful way to bow out of this religion. This is a system of their creation. Unfortunately, a little deception and a few white lies are sometimes necessary in hopes you come out of it as unscathed as possible. I wouldn't challenge your parents on any issue to try to justify why you are leaving. I would leave quietly, with as little fanfare as possible. That's what I did. It takes a while, but its better in the long run.

  • DesirousOfChange

    I think everybody on here has probably reported fake hours in the beginning of leaving. Its just part of the process, I guess.

    We spent a lot of Saturday mornings going directly from the meeting for FS to a leisurely breakfast (out of the territory) and then headed home. When the kids were young and with us, we'd make a RV or NH on the way to breakfast and another on the way home. Easy 2 or 3 hours, depending on how liberal you are with BSing on your FS Report.


  • SAHS
    I’ve been conscientiously doing some informal witnessing here and there on my own, which, now that I think of it, I could have added to my service time slip. I just wouldn’t have to say that it was all anti-witnessing.

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