Advice pleeeaase...

by diana netherton 3 Replies latest jw friends

  • diana netherton
    diana netherton

    A few months ago my sister (baptised when she was 16 and left at 18 now 44 but not "formally" dfd)

    came "back to the fold." She hasn't spoken to me but has to my younger sister. She called her at 1:00

    last sat night. My little sister said she sounded different...yeah, brainwashed. She emailed me and

    said that she has to distance herself from me because our values are so different. (I can tell you a few

    stories about her!!!) Anyway, she encourged me to study the history of JWs using books (not the web)

    which is exactly what I did. Even better, I used ALL Society publications. Should I tell her that I researched

    everything or just leave it alone????

  • Heartbreaker

    Well, you need to answer for yourself whether or not she's open for discussion, or just saying one of those closed phrases that people under thought control say. If it were my sister that was urging me to look at books, not internet, about the Society, I'd take it to mean this "I've already affirmed my faith, and you should do it too for yourself, so you can see that we are right and you are wrong"

    And if I found she was wrong...that the Society is wrong?? That's not up for discussion, because I have different values now...blah blah blah.

    So if I'm projecting my family situation, then disregard this advice. Go to her, or write a letter that she can go back to and reread and study. Lay it all out there and know you did what you could to wake her back up. If it doesn't work, you've still lost your sister to this religion, which is where you stand now. If you feel it could work, and you could gain your sister back, then it'd be worth it. Otherwise you'll be working yourself up and wasting your time. Only you can know which it'll be.

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    Just because someone has been out for several decades doesn't mean it is safe to discuss the cult with them. I was that person for decades.

    Do not throw a whole bunch of stuff at her. You will only scare her off

    One topic at a time, posed as a question, never as a statement. Make it a good one. Not scriptural. Blatant whitewashing of history using current and old literature might work. You know her better than I do. Try to ask your question as though you need help understanding, not her.

    If you need to show her a WT article that embarrasses her or the WT, get her to read it to you and explain it to you. Try to use something that she recommends to you.

    Never let her change the subject. You must control the subject at all times.

    We tend to forget all of the techniques and fears and warnings that we were taught for decades when we confront our families. Don't. You have to work around all of the same psychological barriers that the WT taught you.



  • jwfacts

    I would tell her that you did the research and was amazed at what you found in the Studies in the Scriptures and the Proclaimers book. For Example:

    • JW's have not always existed but Russell made up a new religion in the 1800's, based on Second Adventists
    • Russell used Egyptian teachings to support the 1914 date, such as pyramids and had the winged sun disk on the cover of Studies in the Scriptures
    • Russell said the world would end in 1914, not that it was the start of the conclusion of things
    • Rutherford said that the end would come in 1925

    Wow, they just make these teachings up as they go along .

    That will probably be the last time you talk to her about JWs though.

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